Broken

Chapter 31

"This wasn't supposed to happen! She wasn't supposed to end up like this!" I heard Ryder yell through the thin walls. Looking around, I was in his room like I had been this past week. "She was never supposed to end up like this! Fuck!"

The sounds of crashing caused me to jump.

"Calm down, Ryder!" I heard Anri yell from outside. "Talk to me!"

"I can't!" Ryder yelled and I flinched once again with another crashing sound.

"Then talk to Athena! Things aren't going to get any better if you don't talk to her!"

"But I've tried everything! I don't know what to do!" Ryder yelled back, his voice cracking. I ran out but felt my body and my stomach turn. Falling to the floor, I tried to grasp for a garbage can or something, but I threw up in my hand.

I'm disgusting.

"Ry," I cried shaking my head, "stop."

"Athena! What are you doing out of bed?" He asked scrambling to my side. He put my head into his chest and carried me back to the bed.

"I-I'm sorry." I'm disappointing him. It's all my fault. I'm changing and he doesn't like it?

"Don't be." He simply stated. I tried to think back to our time at the library. Is he going to leave?

"Don't leave me." I cried, not wanting him to go. I've gotten so used to him being here. I can't live without him! I need him in my life. At least that's what my heart is telling me.

"I'm not going to." He said holding onto the sides of my face as Anri came in with bath towels. They felt cold against my warm skin.

"Promise?" I whispered seeing the eyes in my mind. "It's not going to stop! I keep seeing it Ryder! The person I killed! But I had to," I stopped and felt the urge to throw up. Ryder grabbed my hair and pushed my face away from the bed and I threw up into the trash can beside me, "I had to, so why do I feel so guilty?" I coughed out.

Ryder rubbed my back and when I was finished wiped my mouth without judgment.

"Because you're human, Athena." He whispered. I put my head in his lap and closed my eyes, trying to catch a breath.

I feel dirty.

I feel disgusting.

"I killed someone." I whispered closing my eyes again. It's been a week and a half and I'm still suffering.

Opening my eyes, Ryder was still holding onto me. Dad was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'll take her now." Dad said glaring at Ryder. "How's your progress on Mark?"

"He's in route. They found out, but we managed to get him out before any damage can be done." Ryder explained brushing my hair with his hands, curling each individual strand. "Shes staying with me. She's safer here."

"She'll be safe with me!" Dad yelled. "Shes my daughter, mine!"

"And you're not a wolf. You have to work. You have to provide for the house. You have to keep appearances. Keep doing that." Ryder argued back in a calm manner.

"I want her home!"

"And what are you going to do? How are you going to help? Have you ever killed someone before?" Ryder challenged. His grip on my hair slightly tightened as he tried to control himself. "Delyn, she's staying with me. That's the end of this discussion."

"Like hell it is." Dad yelled and punched the wall. I startled fully awake and looked at Dad. He looked between Ryder and I before looking back at Ryder. His shoulders moved with every deep breath he was taking. "Athena. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." The lie burned on my tongue. But I don't know what else to say?

"I was just telling Ryder that you're going to be staying with him for a little while longer. Is that okay with you?" He said it as if he was trying to keep from saying something he'll regret.

I slowly nodded my head. Do I tell them that I heard the whole thing? Probably shouldn't.

"I'll walk you out, unless you want to stay for dinner." Ryder said brushing my hair out of my face and kissing my forehead before getting out of bed.

"No. I have to get to work." He looked over at me with a sad smile and walked to the bedside. He kissed the top of my head and stepped back. "I'll see you soon."

"Be safe." I don't know what else to say. I get Ryder's side. With dad, I'd be home alone with Anri. But Anri is supposed to go to his parents today, he mentioned it a while ago, so maybe he isn't anymore.

"I will." He said and closed the door behind Ryder. It didn't take long for Ryder to come back.

"Want to shower?" He said it more like a recommendation rather than a question. Blushing, I nodded my head and smiled when he helped me get out of bed.

"What's going on with the attack?" I asked sitting on the toilet as he turned on the water.

"Found everyone and you know." He seemed like he didn't want to say the word.

"It's not a curse word. You can say it."

"Killed them. Kept the leader as a prisoner." He seemed uncomfortable with the constant glances and his finger tapping against the edge of the shower.

"Oh." I don't know what else to say. "How is the pack?"

"They're good. Only two got injured, but they're good." He explained and once he was satisfied with the temperature of the water, he helped me undress and get bathed.

I feel so weak.

"Is school worried?"

"Juliana is taking care of it, so don't worry." He reassured. I nodded my head and quickly dried up. While he took his shower, I put on clothes and was surprised to see the new bed sheets.

"I'm sorry." I remember him getting angry earlier and yelling at Anri at how much I'm changing.

"Don't be." Ryder reassured and kissed my head. "Hungry?"

I nodded my head and enjoyed being here with him. By the time the pizza came we had finished gossip girl and Gilmore girls.

"What do we watch now?" I asked looking up at him. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Want to watch a movie?" We browsed through the different shows and movies and settled on a romance movie. Halfway through, Anri and Kevin joined us. Not long after, the rest of the gang joined.

They decided that the Queen sized bed can fit five people. So with Ryder next to me, Kian laid next to him on the edge, then on my side was Anri with Juliana next to him. Roslyn sat on the couch on Eugene's lap. The brothers sat on the floor against the wall covered in blankets. Khalil was laying over both their laps, using their legs as a bed.

In the span of my life, this moment may be small and fleeting, but I love it. I love them.

The nightmares may linger, but with them here I'm going to be okay.