Company Of Angels || Adam Park

forty two

The room was still kind of spinning when I felt the cold rag on my forehead. I swallowed hard as I closed my eyes shut and leaned forward some. The last thing I remembered was listening to my grandmother try and twist everything around me. And in my mind, she was doing such a good job at it.

"I'm sorry... I always mess everything up." I muttered, thinking about how I had unintentionally made a scene in the court room. I could just imagine what everyone was saying about me right now. They were probably laughing that I could even hear any of this going on without passing out.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Danielle. This is a hard day for you and I know it's not easy being under all this pressure and hearing all of this will affect someone's ability to appear in court." Mrs. Yates had said.

"I - I can't go back in there." I muttered, closing my eyes back.

"I know it might feel like that right now, but luckily for you Judge Foyer requested that we take lunch to allow you an hour to recuperate." Mrs. Yates said to me.

"I just want to go home." I muttered, staring to cry.

I did not want to be here anymore. I wanted to go home and hide in my room where I could cry without anyone bothering me. I wanted to be left alone. I did not want to see her anymore today. I did not want to be in this court house. My hands were still trembling as I reached up and brushed my hair out of my face so that I could cover my face with my hands while I cried. My heart was hurting so much right now and I physically did not think I was going to be able to make it though the rest of it. If I did, it would be a miracle.

"Would it make you feel better if we brought Adam in here?" Mrs. DeSantos asked. I wasn't even aware she was in the room but she, along with her husband, and the lawyer were all in the room with us. There was also an officer who was over seeing things.

I couldn't even say anything back. I simply just nodded. Even though there wasn't much he could do to help me through this - nothing could truly help me right now, but he always knew the right things to say and somehow everyone else knew that too. This was a situation that seemed to just never be ending for me - even though I was in the one place that could help end it all. It still hurt a lot and it was opening old wounds that I had been trying to avoid dealing with. I just wanted to push it all away. Pretend that nothing had ever happened. Everything always came right back around to bite me in the butt though and here I was having mental break down over this case. I knew I had every right too but I have felt this way for so long that it just felt like an old act to me. I hated that everyone was tip toeing around me and showing me nothing but sympathy because they felt bad.

I had been so distracted by my own thoughts that I hadn't even heard or seen Adam come into the room. I knew he was there though because I'd recognize his arms around me any day. No one ever hugs me the way he did. His arms would always wrap tightly around me but yet they felt so gentle and comforting.

I instantly relaxed into him. I had still been leaning forward so he knelt on the ground in front of me, pulling me right into him. I rested my forehead on his shoulder as I continued to cry. I was crying so hard that I couldn't even speak. I could physically not get a word out. Not even to Adam. I think everyone understood how hard this was for me but only Adam really understand why I couldn't even speak right now.

Adam used one of his hands to slowly rub my back as I slowly relaxed into him more. The room was utterly quiet and I felt like every eye in the room was on me. I really just wanted this to be over with. I wanted this entire day and week to just be done.

"You're okay baby." Adam whispered in my ear.

"No I'm not." I whispered back. 

"I know it might not feel like it right now, but I promise you that you are. This is just a lot for you." He whispered.