Chapter 81

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•~••~•~•~•*change in POV*•~•~•~••~•
"Let me see him."
"No."
"Let. Me. See. Him."
Drew's eyes flickered as his guard wavered for a spilt second.
"Amber you can't. I won't let you."
I turned away. I couldn't bare to look at him for much longer.
He killed him.
He murdered Luke.
The least he could do is leave me with a face to say goodbye to.
I heard make the smallest sigh.
"Amber... he has a hole in his chest, his skin is white and soggy, his eyes are puffy and sunken in."
By the time he was finished the images of all that he had described, was already permanently installed into my head.
We were sitting in his car as Tyler, Franklin, Evan and Tom dug a deep hole.
Brad and Jason was supposedly retrieving the body.
Even with the support of the chair, I felt myself sway with deep emotions.
My imagination was too much.
"Do you still want to see him."
I couldn't bare it.
I shook my head.
"But please... let me say goodbye..."
"Fair enough."
He wasn't looking at me, but I could tell that he had his mask up.
"Are you ready?"
Ironic really.
Are you ready he asked.
Am I ready to attend the person that meant the world to me's funeral in an oversized t-shirt and boy shorts with smudged mascara paired up with a messy heap of hair and tear streaks running down  my face?
I don't think I am.
What am I supposed to say?
Will he ever forgive me?
I was running away with his murderers after all.
But there wasn't much I could do.
There never seemed to be much I could do.
But I'll come back.
I'll come back and pay my respects properly.
I needed to get this over with first.
I needed to cross this bridge first.
So I nodded.
He mirrored my movement before opening his door and hopping out.
He came over to my side but I already opened the door.
I stood on my own, a bit wobbly so he supported me with his arm and shoulder.
As we got closer and closer, the scenery because clearer and clearer.
The fresh dirt hump.
The discarded shovel.
The cemetery filled with tombstones.
The new slot without one.
Without a second thought I found myself crouching down to the hump where my lover laid.
I didn't have tears to cry.
I didn't have the right to cry.
I couldn't feel anything.
Only soft soil as my fingers carved out a cross into the land in which he slept.
It was small.
But it was there.
+ marked the spot where Luke was buried.
May he rest in everlasting peace.

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