+ marks the grave {Completed}

Chapter 75

•~••~•~•~•*change in POV*•~•~•~••~•
In case you didn't know, my common sense button got broken somewhere between my birthday and now.
I should not be able to think clearly.
But I found a way.
I blocked everything single thing out.
My missing brother,
Luke's death,
The fact that Drew is basically a substitute for what I lost,
Every. Thing.
Maybe my heart was in the right place.
Nothing else mattered.
I owed myself comfort.
I owed myself pure blissful happiness,
With no dangerous strings attached.
The latter it seemed like I couldn't get away from, but at least Drew had what it would take to keep me safe.
Big plus compared to the past two.
Jack and Luke got me kidnapped.
Just in Jacks case, I got away on my own.
Speaking of which, I never got an explanation for that.
I always assumed it was because he was acting too high and mighty but what if he was along involved with some kind of gang business?
Too many dots were trying to connect.
I wanted answers, but I didn't need them now.
I needed to gradually deal with this.
Too much happened in too little time.
So I don't blame myself for blacking out everything and focusing on myself.
I put everyone first every other time.
It was about time to change my selflessness into selfishness.
Everything happened.
I can't change that.
The least I could do is take my time to go around it.
So I ate the pancakes.
And I fed Drew too.
He fed me.
And we kissed.
And now I'm settling in on the sofa, while he's on the phone in his room, both of us pretending to not see the elephant in the room.
There might not have been an elephant if that stupid phone hadn't chosen that exact time to ring.
What made it worst that even when he cover the phone with a cushion, it continued to ring.
He even ignored it until he stopped the kiss.
He sat there, expressionless.
I wasn't sure how to feel..
He just stared down at his hands until he decided to call back whoever had been ringing down his phone.
Did he not feel anything?
Why would he make a move if he wasn't interested?
It made no darn sense!
I could just pull my hair out at his lack of- whatever he was lacking .
It was really aggravating.
But out of all the skeletons in my closet, I chose to bring this one out first.
I was practically stifling myself with a cushion when I heard someone clear their throat.
"How does it taste?"
His eyebrows were raised in amusement as he propped himself up against the doorway of the hallway that I presumed led to the bedroom.
I decided to not answer, courtesy the silent treatment I was wrongfully given a few minutes ago.
"We're gonna leave for the base in five minutes, need to use the bathroom before we go?"
I contemplated.
I didn't know where we was.
I didn't know how far the base was either.
So I decided to not take that chance.
I nodded.
He nodded right back.
He walked over and picked me up as if I was a feather.
He walked down the same hallway.
The doorway to my left led to the kitchen and the one to the right to the bedroom.
There was another door to the end of the hall but he turned into his room.
He opened one of the doors to the side of the room.
"Can you handle it?"
I attempted to stand on my own, but my knees buckled.
I fell back into his arms.
He got his answer.
He nodded to himself.
He placed my arm around his neck to stabilize me.
Then, he slowly coaxed me towards the toilet.
Kinda like how a penguin walks around with its baby between its legs and on its feet.
He angled me so that I could sit.
Awkward...
"Do you need anyth-"
"No thank you."
My stained cheeks and ego couldn't bear anymore.
He sent me a nod of uncertainty and walked out the room, closing the door behind him.
Talk about embarrassing.
The room was about half the size of his bedroom.
There was a door adjacent to the one I entered from.
This bathroom was most likely connected to the room that was at the end of the hall.
But who's room was that?
It didn't seem like anybody else lived here.
Thank goodness that I wasn't wearing any pants, cause that would've been a struggle on its own.
Once I was finished, I tried to get up to wash my hands.
What were the odds?
I failed.
I resorted to my last resort.
"Drew?"
"Yes?"
His response came instantly.
Was he standing by the door this whole time?
I felt even more embarrassed, but warmth filled my chest.
Did he stay to make sure that I was alright?
"Can you help m-"
The door opened.
He walked in, but this time his shirt was a different colour.
It was black with a white embroidered flower.
Feminine?
It looked cute on him.
Once he sensed my gaze he scrambled to find the words.
"My uh- well, it was a gift from my sister..."
"I love her sense of style."
He sent me a meaningful look as he walked over.
He placed my arm around his shoulder around and waddled me over to the sink.
He propped me up onto the sink and went behind me.
He held his hands on my waist as I washed my own hands clean.
Once I turned the tap off, I slowly turned to face him.
His hands didn't move.
We just stood there, staring at each other.
I wondered what he was thinking about.
I wondered how well he knew me.
I wondered how much I meant to him.
I wondered how much he meant to me.
Wouldn't I ever find out?
I could only hope.
Drew reached out and brushed stray strands of hair behind my ear.
His hands moved from my waist to under my arms.
In a split second, he lifted me up and onto his chest.
I didn't object.
It's not like I could walk on my own.
Who was to judge him?
He was my means of transportation after all.
He led me into the room that I didn't the owner to and plumped me down onto the bed.
It was identical to his.
"This was Vixen's room... This was where-"
His voice cracked.
I could finish his sentence.
This was where she was murdered.
"You don't have to say anymore."
I tugged on his shirt for him to sit.
He complied.
"She was just laying there, as she always does, but there was this- this huge hole in her stomach... I- I- She wa-"
He bent his face down to hide his tears, but I saw them fall from his eyes.
"You live on for her. She's watching over you. You're not alone. She didn't leave you.
She'll always be in your heart."
I found myself telling him everything I wanted someone to tell me as I watched my friends slip away, one by one.
I heard him sniffle.
Then he stood.
He walked over to what seemed to be a wardrobe.
He took three deep breaths before he opened it.
I couldn't imagine how he was feeling.
This was his dead sisters room.
This was where he himself found her dead.
This room held many horrific and sorrowful memories.
He slowly analyzed the articles of clothing.
Past memories most definitely filled his mind.
After a long while, he pulled out a simple black and white stripped dress.
It was knee length and most likely my size.
Another factor to show that she died far too young.
She hadn't even lived her life yet.
He walked towards me and took it off the hanger.
But I couldn't accept it.
I would become a constant reminder of what he lost.
I wanted to be the exact opposite.