Only a Lion's Love

Part 20

[daniel's pov ]

Shattering.

It's how my heart felt when I peaked through the crack of door of my own flat.

To see your soulmate kissing your bestfriend? Heart aching. I just looked at them. I could feel the insides of me shrivel into my feet. It seemed to be forever. This nightmare had to stop.

I ran through the door, so the hinges turned all the way to hit the wall. They suddenly broke apart- Phil with the look of guilt and Peej the look of pleasure- the bastard.

Phil began to shake as he stood up. " Dan- it's not what it looks like-" Phil pleaded.He got within a foot of me, begging for forgiveness. "Bear- please" Phil had tears streaming from his eyes making me want to hold him- but I could smell Pj's cologne on him, making me want to vomit.

I walked beside him, so I could get to my room. Phil grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. "Bear-" pausing every so often to try not to cry and speak." It's not what you think-"

I was about to blow. I can't handle this. " So you're telling me- I didn't see my supposed soul mate locking lips with my supposed best friend Phillip?! An I seeing straight- Cause I think I can fucking tell if I am being cheated on by the two closest people in my life." I was so close to screaming this at him- but it was more of a loud talking volume than screaming.

Tears kept pouring out his eyes. "Bear-" I broke free of his grasp. I couldn't take this anymore. " Don't call me that." I then stormed to my room, grabbing all the soare money in my room, and grabbing my laptop. I ran out my room again, to see no one has moved, but Phil wiping tears in his eyes. While Pj just smiled at me. The bastard.

I just looked at them one more time before I grabbed the door knob to leave our- his apartment. Phil looked at me with desperation in his eyes. It killed me- seeing him hurt.. but looking at his swollen lips, cause by Pj.. it killed me even more.

So I just shook my head, and walked out the door, out the apartment building, onto the streets. Just making sure I was far enough away from that home wrecker.

[pj's pov]

The satisfaction that filled me was more then enough. Phil kissing me back was just the pleasure of a thousand angels' songs.

After Daniel came in, the smile just couldn't leave my face. Phil had kissed me back.

After Dan had a melt down, Phil stopped crying. He just looked at me.
"Get. Out." The words suprised me. "I beg your pardon?"

He took a death breath. "Get. The hell. Out of my flat." Phil couldn't be serious, he loved me. "Phil look-"

" If you don't get yourself the fuck out of my flat, I'll make you myself." His eyes filled with rage he stepped towards me. Phil was acting insane. "Ph-" I was cut off by Phil grabbing my shirt collar and pushing me out the door. He slammed his flat door, as I slid across the corridor.

Phil was just confused is all. I knee he couldn't hate me. You want to know why?

Phil, had kissed me back.

[ phil's pov ]

Idiot. Twit. Faggot. Loser. Out cast. Heartbreaker. Homewrecker. Mistake. I was a mistake.

I broke my bear. I kissed the fool back, I ran from issues at home, I break my bear's heart. I broke his heart.

Before I even knew it, tears were cascading down my cheeks, setting a burning sensation on my skin. I should be used to it, for I do it so much.

I ruined so much in such little time. What a mistake I am; to think I wouldn't screw up this many friendships and relationships. I don't deserve to have any except two of them-
The blade and alcohol.

I stumbled to the kitchen cabinets, pulling out the vodka bottles. What a mistake I am- causing my dad to hate me, leaving everyone behind to selfish to face them head on, breaking Dan.

Dan is probably with some hot-shot dude. The one he was planning to leave me for anyway. They're prbably laughing about how much of a failure I am. I'm such a failure.

I took multiple swigs of the bottle, but the pain still was felt. I kept chugging, and chugging it down, but it was no use; the pain was still there.

After finishing 3 bottles of Absolute Vodka, I stopped. The pain just wouldn't go away.Luckily, I knew someone who could help change that.

I stumbled as best I could to the bathroom. I reached for under the sink, trying to find a small tin can. Once my shaky fingers found it,They searched the inside for the sharp piece of metal.

Once I felt the wdge bewteen my fingers I scooped it out of the can. I raised my sleeve, revealing the purple mark around my wrist, the thin red limes going across it.

I slowly pressed it to my skin, again and again hopinv for once the pain would go away. After about 20 lines across my forearm I gave up. The pain couldn't escape my body at once. Maybe I would have to try again and again, to help the pain escape. Maybe I would have to deal with the pain forever. But it's worth a shot to try and get them to leave.

___________

It has been 2 weeks since Dan left. I haven't been on Twitter or anything of that matter. I haven't uploaded a video to youtube, or even check my phone at all. I gave up with it, after calling and emailing Dan for 7 hours straight. No answer or reply.

I broke him enough to forget me.

I was happy Dan was able to forget about me. He was lucky for that. I just wish I would be able to forget me too.

So each night, I tried to drink amd bleed all the pain away but jt was no use, for it got worse each night. I practically gave up on eating. Why anyone care if I looked like shit?
I am shit, so I need to look the part.

I miss him. More then I have the past years. Cause this time I had him- he was in my arms. This time, I was the reason he was gone too.