Only a Lion's Love

Part 29

[ pj's pov ]

I sat on the damp pavement, only to hear the sounds of my deathly thoughts. They're the only things stuck with me anyway. For what felt like hours on end, I just sat there without expression. All the emotions were coming at me at one force, and I didn't feel as if I needed to feel love, or anything of that matter- I just needed the pain to disappear- I needed to be numb.

I tried to debate with the raging voices inside my skull, telling them I won't drink again, I won't. Alas, there was no use, for they just kept telling me with their eary voice, ' So you rather have your friends feel your pain?'

Usually in times like these, Chris's gentle arms would be twisted around my waist, him whispering in a soft tone it'll all be ok, that he'd always be there to help.

Chris isn't here now though, he'll never be there to help- so who will?

The alcohol.

_____

[ daniel's pov ]

Phil and I sat in the uncomfortable silence once our two friends left, 3 hours ago. " Do you think everything is alri-ight?" Phil nervously stuttered. No, they're probably getting mugged or something on the streets. How should I know? If anything, I'll jinx it! I need to keep my lion calm though.. the stress won't be good for him.

I slowly exhaled, "No Phil, I bet they're perfectly fine. They're adults Phil I think they can handle getting takeout." I let out a little chuckle I spoke. One reason of it, was to ease the tension in the air for Phil. The other reason was, I had to let the nerves release somewhat as a signal as ' I don't think they're ok Phil.'

Phil let out a gentle giggle, trying to show me a sign that he trusted me. I looked into his crystal eyes once more. They aren't the same anymore.

I used to be able to get lost in them for hours, as if it were the actual sea, different for every mile.They use to seem so : free. As if you couldn't find the end the colors of his irises. His eyes would gleam of multiple ranges: from light specks of green and yellow, sometimes light streaks of the limish colors when the sun glistened on them.

Now... They just seemed so... Trapped. When I stare into them, there just isn't as much- life as there used to be. The colors have vanished, just like his trust. The ranges of blues within his eyes, almost seem blended now, as if they were just a plain wall painted a dull blue. I miss the eyes I could get lost in for hours- but I especially miss the Phil who loved life.

Our forever lasting stare down was interrupted by an abrupt buzzing of my phone. We both jerked our heads towards the ringing object. I reached over and picked up my celluar device.
"It's Chris..." I look at Phil, noticing the slight look of horror on his face. I tried to give him a convinving look of support before accepting the call.

"Chris, is everything alright? Are you and Peej coming back? " I ask as calmly as I could in this gut wrenching situation.

"Nothing-" Chris barely shrieks into the phone. "Nothing is alright anymore Dan..." his voice begins to crack, sniffling twice before going back to explaining this conflicting dilemma. "I'm not coming back Dan, I'm never coming back.." his voice barely mumbled.

"What do you mean Chris?" I slowly ask. I could tell something has already gone horribly wrong, just from the way Chris managed to speak his fumbled words. "I'm not some fucking toy Dan! I'm not meant to be used and tossed in the corner like some forgotten child's toy!" He yelled into the phone. I heard the broken lad quietly sob into the phone. "Chris... can you please explain what is happening?" Chris held his breath on the phone, making it deadly
silent.

Chris exhaled deeply, " Dan, don't you see what's happened? Pj... Has changed for the absolute worst! You know in high school, how I told you I thought I liked Pj?" A silence stood on the phone. " I realized I loved him like 5 months ago, and for a while, I though Peej did too.....But guess what Daniel? After filming his small film, helping him with videos? Nothing of that matters." His voice was monotone, not dipping like it was earlier.

"After seeing Phil again... Pj pushed me aside like leftover scraps... Only to come back for support? Only to try and abandon me again for Phil!? I'm done with this load of bull shit Daniel." Chris spit out.

This was so much information to take in at once, yet I wanted more. " Chris, are you with Peej at the moment?" Chris laughed into the phone, almost as if I were joking around. "Wait- you think I would actually stay along side with the man who has crushed me over and over again? Screw that, I left him on the pavement." He chuckled. A shock of horrow lit my face, to what Chris has been saying.

This is just unbelievable knowing that two of my best friends have been split apart. "Chris, is this what you meant by quitting 'youtube'?" I questioned. " Dan, let me ask you this- would you continue to do youtube, or anything you love, if Phil died?" I didn't know how to react. I never thought Phil would die soon or anything like that, not mentioning the time Phil tried to kill him self. I guess I would quit youtube.. "Why continue something if it isn't with someone you love?" I stated. "But that doesn't apply to you and Peej, Chris.."

Chris chuckled, " He's dead to me Dan. So I have to quit, and face a new reality of maturity, and get over a stupid highschool lover.I'm going back home Dan. I'm going back home, restarting and moving out to start a new career, because I'm done with all the shit of Peej."

" Chris, what about your suscribers? aren't they a little upset you're just abondoning them all?" I was getting a bit freaked over all stuff Chris has been saying. He literally sounds insane at this point. " Are you sure you are making the right decision?"

He huffed into the mobile device, " Like a give a shit about what a bunch of 13 year olds think of me. Dan, I'm sorry but I'm not dealing with you bull anymore. I know this is the right decision. Bye Daniel." and with that, Chris hung up the phone.

I layed the phone on the table. I glanced around our living area, not seeing Phil on our couch. I looked over to the door, to a distressed Phil trying to hold it open. I rushed over, holding it open for him, not realizing he was dragging something in. "Phil what they hell are you doing?" he looked at me with desperate eyes, and flipped over a large man with curly locks. His breathe was still, almost like it was barely there.
The man looked almost.... dead..

"Peej..." I mumbled into the thin air.