Golden ◂ NCT Jaemin

16 ◂ Careful

*is still not over Go era* 

◂ 16 ▸

Small handprints on the wall. 

Small, crimson handprints smeared over a dirty-white wall.

She was sobbing. Sobbing because those cold, dead eyes stared at her so intently. Just looking at it, she heard the woman's ear-deafening screams echo so vividly. 

It was so loud. 

She felt like her head was going to explode and cover those tiny, delicate, crimson handprints in even more crimson. 

Red on red. Her parents were dead. She was sobbing. 

A sensation as if her lungs were collapsing. She couldn't say a word. She couldn't even shout when the gun went off. 

Not the first time. 

Not the second time. 

Not the fifth time. 

Through her stuffy nose, she couldn't even grasp the metallic smell inside the room. 

"Kid," a man called. He didn't know her name but he would learn it soon. "Don't be scared." 

But she was. She was terrified when she stumbled back and landed in a shallow puddle of blood. It felt warm and gross. 

Why was it warm when it came from a man with such cold, lifeless eyes?

Why was it so warm?

"It's okay now, there's nothing to be afraid of anymore," he added but she didn't reply. "Don't be scared." 

He put a gun to her head. 

"Hey," he called her sympathetically, making her gaze at him with eyes ripped open wide. 

She wasn't sobbing anymore. She didn't understand. 

She didn't understand why he talked and acted like that. 

She didn't understand why he didn't pull the trigger. 

"It's okay," he reassured her. 

Right. 

He never pulled the trigger. 

But he also never said those things to her.

"Don't be scared." 

That wasn't even his voice. 

"Jie, please." 

With her parents' corpses around her, with all that blood and all those bad men, she suddenly felt really calm. Comforted. 

"Don't cry." That was- "Please wake up, you are scaring me. Please look at me." 

Oh. 

The little girl let out a last, faint breath of air before she closed her eyes and fell back into the puddle. And just before her back hit the floor, she stopped moving. 

She couldn't move because his arms were wrapped around her too tightly. So she reached out and did the same. When her fingertips glid over his back, Xiaojun exhaled heavily in relief. 

"Fuck," he mumbled. "Jie do you know how long I've been trying to wake you up?" 

Swallowing hard, she tried to get rid of the lump in her throat. She nodded, buried her head deeper in the crook of his neck.