Holding Me Back

Chapter 33

Somin's POV

"Oppa..." I called out to Jongkook oppa softly as he walked off to the kitchen. I knew he was slightly upset that I didn't reply to his confession. Too many relationships broke me, to the point that those words seems so easy to hear from everyone.

It was as if they'd just say those words but in the end, no one has ever stayed. Jongkook oppa didn't reply, turning his back on me. He gathered his ingredients and slicing board as he concentrated on the dish he was making. I stared at him and his actions for a long time before I stood up.

"You need help?" I offered, standing beside him. Instead of answering, he shooked his head and went to the fridge, as if to avoid me. Jongkook oppa turned on the stove and started adding water and gochujang onto the pan. It seems like he was making tteokbokki.

"Oh? You are making tteokbokki? Wow, how do you know how to make it?" I smiled, pleased to see this side of him. After a few seconds of silence, I raged. "Am I perhaps talking to a wall or something?" I sarcastically asked, offended at his silent treatment.

He sighed and ran his hand through his brown hair. "Gosh, Somin. Can you just sit down and let me do this?" Jongkook oppa suggested in an annoyed manner, making me even more irritated. "I'm just trying to help you. I don't get why you are being like this," I raised my voice.

"Damn it, Somin. You know goddamn well why I am being like this! Just....please sit down," He took a deep breath and stopped doing whatever he was doing. "Just because I didn't say I love you back? You are being so childish for those three simple words that means nothing at all?" I blurted out.

"What?" He turned off the stove. Now, he was serious. I stayed silent for a few seconds, unable to speak. Guilt bloomed in my heart. "It means nothing? I said those words because it means nothing? Don't you realise how dumb you sound?" Jongkook oppa argued, his eyes full of anger and hurt.

"I don't know! Maybe it's because I'm too damaged and confused about that word," I was breathless, ashamed to admit that. Instead of sympathising with me, he laughed humorlessly.

"Don't be so dramatic. So what? You don't love me? You don't feel anything when you are with me? Then what the hell did you feel when we kissed? When we danced? When we held hands? When we just stared at each other?" He sighed and inhaled a sharp breath. "And when we made love to each other?" He continued, gazing into my eyes.

I hung my head low, covering my eyes with my hands. For some reason, my ears only heard the first sentence. "Am I really being dramatic?" I whispered. "You wanna know why?" I asked. I took his silence as a yes. "Because every guy I've ever loved, had said that they loved me and I said it back. But what the hell did they do?" I stopped my words, trying to stop tears from coming out of my eyes.

"They left," I murmured, looking up to Jongkook oppa's eyes. As I saw his eyes softened, a tear rolled down onto my cheeks. He reached out to me but I flinched. "Somin?" He was flustered as to why I flinched. I waved my hand as a dismissal, indicating that I was fine.

"I don't want your pity, oppa. I'm 34 and I'm experienced so I know how to handle this," I elaborated. I wiped my tears away and stepped closer to him. I placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat go fast. I felt him relaxed as my hand travelled down to his hand.

"If you want me to say it, I will but give me some-" I got cut off as Jongkook oppa cupped my face. "Don't force yourself. I got so stuck up in my feelings that I forgot about your past and feelings. I dated before, you know but I guess you and I might have different circumstances," He put on a small smile and kissed my forehead.

My heart did a flip as he was staring at me, full of...love.

Jongkook's POV

This girl was so precious. Like you just wanna keep her in your pocket and protect her forever? Yeah, I feel the same. As time passed by, Somin had to leave for her photoshoot. She seemed so nervous, rambling about how she was going to pose and how she had to act infront of professional photographers.

I laughed at her cuteness and pinched her cheek gently, adoring her. Before she left my house, I gave her a long kiss, hesitating to let her go. The house felt empty right away. I groaned as I turned on my phone. Multiple calls and countless messages. I thought that my phone was going to explode with notifications popping up every second.

Janghoon's name was the first name to appear on my call log as he called me literally 10 times. That man is a maniac, he sure loves to butt in people's relationship. I even saw my mom's. What the hell? Who told her? She must feel angry and disappointed.

Not because I was with Somin. Because I didn't tell her. She literally despise whenever she has to find out something about me through someone else. I grumbled and hesitated to call my mom. "Mom," I called out to her and put the speaker on, afraid that if I placed my phone on my ear, my ears would bleed. "You brat!" She cursed as I quickly lowered down the call volume.

I kept quiet and she complained for literally 2 minutes. "Are you listening?!" She raised her voice. "Yes, mom," I sighed. "Don't sigh or even frown. How many times am I suppose to tell you to let me know the important stuff in your life?" She stated demandingly. "I know, mom. I'm sorry. But do I really need to tell you everything? I'm 44, not 4," I whined like a kid, hating every second of her scolding me.

"Don't talk to me like that, you punk," She said in an angry tone and I blurted out a laugh. "Alright alright. I'm sorry, I'll tell you everything from now on," She scoffed as I declared that. I wasn't sure if I was telling the truth either.

She kept quiet for awhile before asking a question. "How is she?" I laughed as she asked that. "I'm being serious right now," She added. As my laugh subsided, I cleared my throat. "She's nice," I gave a simple answer.

My mom stayed silent, which meant that she clearly wanted to hear more. "She's cute, I guess. Pretty, too. When she smiles and her nose scrunches. Her gums will show and her laugh is like music to my ears. You know those sort of laughs that makes you feel warm and..." I trailed off my words, stopping myself from continuing. I talked too much.

I facepalmed myself. On the other side, my mom chuckled. "You are totally lovestrucked, my boy," She teased me. I laughed and nodded, even though she couldn't see me.

"I guess I am," I replied while grinning from ear to ear.

Author's Note:

Thank you for 3.8k readers <3 Hope yall are still enjoying this story!! Just gonna warn yall that its gonna end soon, sadly :[ But don't worry, I'll definitely be posting more stories of them and other celebrities too! Thank you for still reading up until here~