Broken || Little Mix ||

Chapter 33 - E

I crack the tab on a can of Red Bull, opting to chug half of the fizzy chemical in one go instead of my usual morning tea. It's currently five in the morning and the four of us are all trudging around the bus like zombies, getting ready for a day of radio press in New York. None of us take much care to not wake the dancers, knowing the mix men have most of the day off to go back to sleep and do nothing. Our first interview is at eight and because half of them have cameras in studio to upload the interview to YouTube, we all have to look like half-way put together pop stars.

For me, that entails restraightening my hair, applying enough makeup in the hopes of concealing the dark circles around my eyes, and throwing on a Little Mix baseball cap to aid in that category as well. This process takes an entirety of twenty minutes, leaving me to question why we all had to wake up three and a half hours early when we all know it's more so Jesy and Leigh that need that big of a cushion. Pez and I could make do with an hour and half. If it was up to Jesy though, she'd never deem herself ready to go. It's only because of set times that she actually manages to pull herself away and get to where she needs to be.

I chug the other half of my Red Bull, still standing in the kitchen of the bus, and quickly replace it with a new one. Paul, who is sitting at his laptop at the table, his so-called designated 'bus desk,' shoots me a look.

"Am I going to have to monitor your caffeine intake too?" he asks.

I shoot him a glare. In honesty, I want to complain about how I had to spend all of yesterday hiding a horrible hangover, even though I was lucky enough to blame it on the hospital incident instead. Because Danielle was somehow able to bounce back much easier than me, we were able to keep our drinking escapade from Paul's knowledge. I opt for toning down my attitude enough to where it can be chalked up to morning bitchiness.

"Perrie was talking in her sleep all night and Claude snores louder than a freight train. Tour bus sleeping isn't exactly the most luxurious part of the job."

I sit down, across from him at the table, opening my new can and taking a much more calculated sip, to convince him that I'm much more functional than I really am. He seems to notice and nods in slight approval.

"What's with the cap?" he questions.

"My eyes are darker than a black hole and no one stans Little Mix more than Little Mix themselves," I reply.

"You good on the schedule today?" he asks, peering over the top of his MacBook. One glance at my uneasy face answers his question.

"First interview is at eight. It's gonna be about fifteen minutes long. Then they're going to take some fan phone calls. You girls are meeting five fans that won their contest. Should be out of the studio by nine fifteen. We get to the next studio by nine forty. You do a quick meet and greet, then interview then acoustic performance of Touch and Shout Out. Next studio by ten thirty and so on.

"I've already given them a veto list of talking points that are no go's so there shouldn't be any mention of Clarke. If he is mentioned do your best to deflect. And if anyone asks how you're feeling you know the drill," he lectures.

"I'm doing a lot better thanks for asking," I recite perfectly.

Paul flashes me a smile. "Listen, I know this is hard Jade and I know you might feel like I don't care and that I'm part of the problem. I want you to know that I do genuinely care for you. Say the word and I will call Sam right then and there and tell her you can't keep this charade up and something has to change."

I smile back at him. "I appreciate it Paul but right now I'm dealing. I can't do that to the girls. It isn't fair to them. I'll be alright."

He nods but doesn't say anything, going back to typing something on his computer. I slide out of the booth and go to the lounge, deciding to take a nap since I'm dressed and ready to go. Upon entering the room, I see that Perrie had the same thought process and is sprawled out on the couch.

"Shh," she complains as I shut the door.

"Sorry," I whisper. I notice she's still in pajamas and her hair is thrown up into a messy bun. Hardly ready to go like I am.

"Per, you gotta go get ready," I say, nudging her with my knee.

"Jade no. Five more minutes. It's not even six yet. I've got plenty of time."

"If Paul sees you sleeping without even being dressed he's going to have a heart attack."

"Seems like his problem."

I give up trying to rouse her and lay down on the opposite side of the couch. The bus is cool and quiet, as almost everyone is still asleep. It's extremely peaceful. I close my eyes and for the first time in a while, I fall asleep without the help of an external substance.