Broken || Little Mix ||

Chapter 44 - E

**TRIGGER WARNING**

I stumble out of the bathroom dizzy, dazed and extremely faded. With my unbalance, my body crashes into the opposite wall causing some of the mounted plaques to go crashing to the floor. Their glass encasings shatter, sending shards everywhere. Oops. Perrie isn't going to like that one. That side of the hall was originally hers. Oh well. She can have mine. I won't need them anymore.

I try to take a few steps forward, unsure of just exactly where I'm trying to end up. After a couple steps of walking along the wall, clutching my throbbing and gushing arm, my feet catch on themselves making me fly to the ground. I hear more glass crunch under the weight of my body landing on it and feel stings through my haze of substances as their sharp edges pierce the skin on my face and body. I groan in pain and roll onto my back, haphazardly trying to wipe the glass off my cheek but only succeeding in pushing it further in.

Time becomes purely a concept to me and I lose all sense of it. It feels like I've been laying here for hours but it's more probable that it's only been a few minutes. Either way, in what has more than likely been a short while, I've lost a surprising amount of blood as the red pool around my wrist continues to grow at an increasingly alarming pace.

I try to raise my arm to examine it closer but it doesn't seem to want to work or cooperate with me at all. My heart starts to speed up as a familiar sense of strong anxiety sets in. My breathing shallows out as I start to feel a struggle to pull air in and have to start making a conscious effort on breathing. If I had anything else left in my stomach I would've thrown up by now.

The obnoxious blare of the default Apple ringtone screams from my pocket, making my already shaky heart jump slightly. I try to fight to get my phone out with my still good hand, a task made harder by the fact that all of my extremities have gone numb with pins and needles as if they're asleep. I finally manage to succeed and see it's my manager Sam. No doubt she's seen the articles and is calling to scold me. I hit the lock button, sending her to voicemail. She tries to ring a couple more times before sending me a text.

Sam: I've been trying to reach you for the last hour. I saw the articles. I need to know that you are okay. Something doesn't feel right. I'm on my way over.

My heart leaps into my throat. Sam has the spare key. Perrie sent hers back with Jackson. There's nothing I can do in my current state to keep her out. I can only hope that she's too late. Waves of exhaustion start to wash over me as I break into a clammy sweat. I can feel my body shaking. I clench my teeth as black spots dance in my vision.

Despite my shivering, I start to feel a warm feeling spreading through my body that carries with it a strong sense of fatigue. My eyes start to droop and I don't bother to try to fight to keep them open, instead closing them and focusing purely on my breathing.

"Jade! Jade open your eyes. Open your eyes!"

My eyes snap open obediently as I jerk awake. I must have passed out. Sam's face, while extremely blurry and seeming to have three different heads, is in my line of vision. I know that she's kneeling over me but she feels meters away. Her eyes are red and full of tears and fear. I feel mine start to close again and she shakes me by the shoulders again, forcing them to stay open.

"Stay right here," she says, quickly getting up and going into the bathroom.

As if I could get up and walk away right now, I think to myself.

Sam reappears, holding a towel and rushes back over. She doesn't hesitate before ripping her belt off and tightly wrapping it just below my elbow, an action that causes me to scream out in pain. She doesn't loosen it or even flinch though, seeming to have expected this reaction. Instead she grabs the towel and places it firmly down on my wrist, causing me to cry out again and grit my teeth.

I struggle to regain all of the air I've just forced out, making my breaths come in ragged, wheezy gasps that don't contain nearly the amount of oxygen that my body desperately demands. The black spots are back again as I get even more light headed. The room is spinning and it's spinning fast.

"Sorry," she says unapologetically. "Ambulance will be here any second Jade. Just hold on. Please hold on," she begs.

I feel my eyes, which were barely open to begin with, start to close again. Sam tightens her grip on my wrist with one hand and starts to rub my chest with the now free one in an attempt to help me stay awake.

"Please Jade," she pleads tearfully.

"Tr—try...trying," I choke out.

And I really am. I don't know why. Maybe it's my body's natural survival instinct or the fact that I don't want to have a good friend watch the life leave my body. I want to die but not with her here. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to hurt or traumatize anyone in that sort of way.

"You're doing great. Just stay awake. Focus on staying awake."

I want to argue that my main focus should be on breathing but that seems like a waste of time.

"Those pills on the counter. Did you take any?" Sam asks.

I opt to nod, trying to conserve what little air I have.

"How many?" she demands.

"Don't...know."

Her hand rubs my chest a little more aggressively as she gets angry.

"That's bullshit. How many?" she growls this time.

"Six...seven?" I estimate, truly unsure of what the real count is. Sam nods at my honesty and nervously glances around. Suddenly she perks up.

"Help! Please, this way! Quickly!" Sam shouts, obviously hearing something I didn't.

I'm only vaguely aware of my surroundings at this point. There's a lot of shouting and what seems like a stampede of footsteps. Unfamiliar voices start shouting my name and bombarding me with questions that Sam appears to be answering for me. I try to get my eyes to focus in on something to give me an idea of what is happening but they don't work. Nothing is in my control anymore. 

I feel someone pick me up and place me on the stretcher. The second I'm laying down someone else starts to strap my legs and torso down while another person shoves an oxygen mask over my face.

"Have to get moving now!" someone screams.

Someone adjusts the belt on my arm, making me scream again and teeter on the edge of passing out. My eyes start to close on their own accord despite me trying to listen to the pleas of everyone around me saying to keep them open. I can't. I'm too tired. I just want this to be over.

The next time I open them I'm in an ambulance with a man working over me feverishly. I can hear someone crying. No doubt Sam. There's an incessant beeping that is going completely off beat. It takes a few moments for me to realize that it's the heart monitor. 

"She's losing too much blood. You have to go quicker!" the man shouts. 

"I'm doing my best!" someone else shouts back. 

"Jade stay with us okay? We're almost there." 

The agonizing pain that I was feeling earlier has faded. Now I can't feel anything at all. The ambulance keeps speeding up and stopping, trying to fight the traffic to get to the hospital. My eyes start to close again as I hear the monitor start chiming out, indicating something is extremely wrong. 

"She's crashing. How much longer?" the man screams. 

"Two minutes. I'm about to pull in now!" 

"Hold on Jade. Just hold on."