Tutor Me

Chapter 34 : It's Yours

"I am bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes"

I dialed his number then having second thought I ended the call giving a miss call. I hate missed calls.

But I can't do this, he knew like the rest of them (my newly made friends) that my life is messed up.

Avi had an ultimate factory of baggage.

A mental condition that's almost declaring me a maniac

A dark past that I wasn't even aware of and no family left to explain it. What an interesting life I have now...

Who's gonna like me?

Who can even dare to love a person who has two personalities, if having her already emotionally broken wasn't enough?

People can't handle one personality and here I was gifted with two.

Aren't I am the chosen one?

I always thought I would never do this but today I was really feeling sorry for myself. For my life, how drastically it changed. Every phase had demanded, ordered me to stay strong for obstacles that won't just stop at. Whenever I made myself ready to have my feet stable and stand up to face the world with enough courage, the courage that I am barely able to found within myself yet still I get ready to breath a new start and not to wallow in grief,then guess what happens?

I am slapped hard by another shit.

Just break me so that I won't get up again.

I glance at the vibrating phone in my hand.

Laksh was calling me

I should probably not answer and avoid him, to make his and my life easier and maybe it would be less complicated if I stepped back and save both of ourselves from further undefinable situations.

I stared when it vibrated once again after the call ended.

I would've to be self-destructive as well as selfish to drag another person into my mess.

My cautious and logical side yelled at me to end whatever I started with Laksh because that route would lead to nothing but more trouble.

But you know what?
I am done avoiding the complicated aspects of my life. Now I should learn to grab and maybe kiss the life out of it.

I answered by accepting his call and held the phone to my ear without saying anything.

He didn't say anything either, I heard his light breathing from the other side of the line indicating his presence. It was strange how I can recognize him by his breathing.

Just the light breezing of it was more than enough to relax as well as spark me.

Slowly, I sat back on the bed still holding the phone against my ear not initiating any conversation.

Eventually, our breathing started syncopating each other. Which was quite sensual... how could anyone get thrilled and affected by one's breathing?

I put a hand to my uncontrollable heartbeats.

"So...?" He drawled clearing his throat, urging me to speak something.

"So?" I repeated, clearing my throat too.

"You good?" He asked as some seconds passed between us and our breathings got slightly more audible.

"Uh-huh.." I hmmed, wrapped an arm around my knees pulling them to my chest.

After another moment of silence that proved unbearable for my system, for me to just hear his breathing and few vague words all together caused the butterflies in my stomach go literally out of their freaking stupid little minds "Can I come over there?" I blurted dropping my knees tilted my head at the ceiling as if I could find my answer there. Which was