CHAPTER 62: WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE
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❝ he is the darkest parts of you. ❞
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WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE. This is a fact. Enola is a horrible person; down to her rotten roots. When her love gave her handfuls of stars, she cowered away in fear and let her heart run an empty vessel. When her love gave her pleading eyes, she turned her back anyways.
We accept the love we think we deserve. Well, she thinks she deserves nothing. She runs away from commitment with her tail tucked between her legs because her being bleeds through her own fingertips and she takes and takes and takes till scarlet red capitalized love sits prim across her palms and runs through the gaps in her fingers. She is a horrible person because she is her. So this is a confession of sorts. She is a fraud that is undeserving of any love. That is why she chased Caroline away. That is why she pushed Damon aside. That is why she would not let Klaus near.
But was there ever a true great love? Anyone who ever became the object of her obsession and not simply her affection? She honestly didn't think so. In part, this was her fault. It was her nature. She could not let herself become that unmindful. Isn't that what love is—losing your mind? You don't care what people think. You don't see your beloved's faults, the slight stinginess, the bit of carelessness, the occasional streak of meanness. You don't mind if they are beneath you socially, educationally, financially, and morally—that's the worst, she thinks, deficient morals.
She always minded. She was always cautious of what could go wrong, what was already not ideal. She paid attention to the divorce rates. So she asks you this: what is the chance of finding a lasting marriage? Twenty percent? Ten? Do you know any women who have escaped having their hearts crushed like a recyclable can? From what she observed when the anesthesia of love wears off, there is always the pain of consequences. That is why she decided to love from afar. She was scared that if she found even a shred of happiness, it would get torn away from her in an instant. Why do you think she didn't fight for Caroline hard enough? Why do you think she was distancing herself from Damon so much?
"Have you ever flown first class before?" Damon wondered.
Enola stood in front of the Salvatore Boarding House alongside Stefan as Damon and Elena loaded the vehicle with their belongings. They were on their way to Denver so they could get Jeremy who had unknowingly befriended Kol, an original vampire. Enola and Stefan had decided on staying back so they could find the remaining white oak stake. Alaric had it. However, Evilaric hid it somewhere no one could find. They were tasked with getting that piece of information out of him.
