love struck

Chapter 32:

*trigger warning mention of attempted suicide in this chapter. Read at your own risk*

I got to the hospital and went to the room we brought him into after the test. My heart hurt to see him in this condition emotionally but physically all I knew was that he and I were married I didnt have the memories of anything pre dating me escaping.

I walked over to the chair sitting next to his bed and just watched him sleep he was so peaceful. My mind wondered to what we had obviously done......have I seen his face without the mask.

Suddenly I had the urge to pull his mask down and get a good look at his face. I knew he had boundaries tho and I'd be violating them. But he wouldn't know hes nocked out.

I stood up and leaned over him in the hospital bed. My fingers on the edge of his mask and began to pull it down.

When suddenly a hand wrapped around my wrist and I looked up to find his eyes staring right at me. "What are you doing."

I stepped back nervous. "I....I uuhhhh....u just wanted to.....seeyourfaceandsincewealreadyyouknowithoughtihadalreadyseenitanditwouldntmatter."

"One more time."

"I wanted to see your face and since already well you know then I had already seen it and it wouldn't matter." He stared at me. We both just sat or layed in silence.

"BAHAHA" he busted out laughing and I scrunched my face in confusion? "Wooo haha of course you've seen my face............" he then turned serious, "But that doesnt mean you will now you dont even remember me, it not that I dont want you to see my face it's that the look on your face would break me and I cant deal with that again."

"Again? I haven't seen your face since I've been here have i?"

"No not here." Tears started to run down his face and I got worried. "What's wrong talk to me." I rushed back to his bedside. "In whatever you put me in it was before and you remembered me and and you pulled my mask down and didnt recognize me and were terrified of my face and then we were fighting and I.....i didnt mean to but my chidori it.....it"

I hugged him and held him close to me while shushing him. It felt like the right thing to do at the time and he needed me. "Shhhhhhh it's ok it's ok I'm here nothing's wrong I may not remember you fully but my heart does and it still beats for you, even here in this moment with just this small gesture of us hugging its beating faster than lightning." I grabbed his hand and put it to my chest on my beating heart. "See my heart still loves you and one day I fully believe I'll remember and when I do everything will change but it will be ok because even now we have each other."

He calmed down and eventually he fell asleep. I stayed there with him for a while before a presence was at the door and I looked up to see jariah who I had met before. He signaled for me to come out to him so I carefully got out of kakashi's embrace and quietly left the room me and jariah began to take a walk in silence at first. Before I broke the silence, "do you know who the other legendary sanin are other than orochimaru?" The question through him off i could tell.

"Why?" He asked cautiously. "Because orochimaru mentioned something about my parents not being my parents and said my true parent were the other 2 so I plan on finding them."

Jariah had stopped walking and I turned around to find him teary eyed. Again worried for the second time today I rushed back "what's wrong was it something I said?" He shook his head up and looked at me "the fith hokage is a legendary sanin" I gasped and we held eye contact "and I'm the other one."

I backed away from him slowly from the feeling of betrayal. "You were here the whole time, alive! And never came for me was I that much of a disappointment that even my own father wanted nothing to do with me." He stepped closer to me and shook his head vigorously. "No no when tsunade found out she was pregnant I was away on a long journey and didnt find out till it was almost time for her to give birth I rushed back to the leaf but when I got here she told me that the baby didnt make it and she was leaving the village it's not that I didnt want you I didnt know you were alive I cried over my what I though was my dead child forever.......just to find out she was here the whole time."

"Tsunade she.....she said I was dead? She didnt even tell you I made it she just game me up and left......" I teleported away before he could say anything.

Jariah's POV2 as:

Before I could say another word she was gone. I rushed around this whole village searching for her, asking everybody where she could be or if they had seen her. Nobody knew where she was. Nobody knew she was just gone.

I was on my way to the hospital to check if she went back to visit kakashi-- it was my last hope. I walk into his hotel room and didnt see her.

"Master jariah what brings you here." Kakashi asked as he put his book down, the book I wrote. "Have you seen (y/n) recently." He looked at me, "not since this morning why is something wrong?" I started to leave but paused before I walked out. "I dont know yet but she just found out her whole life wa as a lie."

I teleported into the hokage's office. Tsunade looked up surprised, "Mariah you cant just do that."

"You have alot of explaining to do but not right now we have bigger problem." She began to be worried. "Why what's wrong?" She set the papers she had down. "Our DAUGHTER just found out who her parents are and now no body has seen her."

Her eyes widened and she looked distraught. "How wait nobodies seen her, SHIZUNE!" In poped tsunades pupil "yes mi'lady?!"

"Send the summoning hawks we need every jonin available my daughter is missing!"

YOUR POV

I had teleported to the valley of the end. It seemed a fitting place for the ending to a story. I had carved grooves and divots into my arms from my wrist to the end of my forearm. I wasnt wanted by my parents. My own husband doesn't want anything to do with me now that I have no memories. I cant even remember most people sk why would they care. It would save alot of people the worry of having me in their life. I bet they wouldn't even notice. But if I do go through with this it needs to work, or else I'd just be an even bigger burden. If I wasnt good enough in this life then maybe I'll be given a second chance make sure I'm strong enough to remember those who have loved me. Tho I guess it makes since, they all ended up fine when I "died" the first time they were all alive then they can get through without me they've proven it.

For ever thought I had I dug another line into my arm. 'If i dont die from the fall at least I'll bleed out.' I looked down from the statue i was standing on. 'It sure is a long way down.' But it wouldn't matter i wouldn't be here long enough to care after I end this misery.