Without You || todobaku

3

Bakugou's POV

I don't know how long I stayed under that bridge. It hit me that I had been gone for so long when I noticed the sun was setting. I knew I needed to get home before nightfall. Bad shit happens at night and I didn't feel strong enough to protect myself. My chest still ached from Todoroki's ice. It felt like my heart wasn't pumping blood fast enough for me to stay circulated.
I picked myself up off the ground and began walking home. My head was killing me. I probably needed medical help now that these migraines were a regular thing. It bothered me how even my body knew I wasn't capable of being strong and alive. 
All my life I knew I wasn't going to be the best of the best. That made me crave it more. I thought if I tricked myself into believing I was better than everyone it would one day be true. The older I get the weaker and smaller I feel.
My eyes were sore and all cried out. I probably couldn't cry again if I tried. My mouth was dry, my lips were chapped, and my feet were moving by themselves. One step after another I got closer to my home. 
Before I knew it, I was silently walking through my house and into my bedroom. There I took off my clothes and got in bed. My parents weren't home so I was alone. I tossed and turned in my bed trying to find the best possible position to sleep but it was useless. 
Another night without sleep.

The morning came and I repeated the same routine I did every morning. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, didn't bother with my hair, and I left for school again. My pockets stuffed full with my hands and my head low. I had to get my brave face on again. The good old pissed off Bakugou.
Aizawa was late, one of the teachers made sure we all had made it to class and notified us to behave while they waited for his arrival. I took the opportunity to lay my head down and try to catch even a little bit of sleep. Anything to get this fucking headache to stop.
Behind me I could hear Deku mumbling to himself. Sounded like he was going over his notes. Mentioned something about a test. Fuck. 
My absent mind completely forgot the written test we had to take today. I wasn't prepared at all. No way would I ask Deku for his notes. No way would I even cram enough in to pass it. I accepted my defeat.

Todoroki's POV

The night I returned home was the worst I'd had in a while. My father's blood was boiling. I guess I haven't been advancing in my training at all. The teachers at UA so kindly informed him of just about everything I've been doing, including stifling my horrid fire quirk. 
"Shotou, you look at me right now," He slammed his large hand on the table in front of me, causing my eyes to quickly take focus on his angry face.
"You need to stop acting like this. What the fuck is wrong with you!? I made you what you are and you have been so ungrateful for far too long. You are going to be using your full power or you can kiss that school of yours goodbye."
Removing me from UA? My only safe place? I couldn't imagine being worked to the bone under my father's wing every moment of my life. 
"From here on out I am having Mr. Aizawa inform me of every training session you have. He'll tell me every little detail down to the color of your fucking shoe laces, do you understand? No more games, Shotou. You are not going to embarrass me and put our name to shame."
I nodded, "Yes sir."
He seemed satisfied enough. He let me retreat to my room.
I sat down beside my bed and brought my knees to my chest. I couldn't help but feel downright terrified. Me refusing to use my fire has caused me to not really understand how to control it. I could end up injuring myself far beyond recovery. I could end up killing someone. The one time I used it I thought would be my last. It took me a while to get my body back to normal after the festival. I still have trouble keeping my internal temperature under control. It causes my breathing to falter and my heart to grow cold. It hurts.
I can't face my father without living up to expectations. For a while, I thought I could get away with it. Now he's hit me where it hurts.
The next day I prayed the entire walk to UA that there would be zero physical training. I wasn't prepared to try and fix myself. 
When I entered the classroom everyone except Aizawa was there, which was a first. I made my way back to my seat. I glanced at Bakugou's head on the way. 
I wondered if he was still pissed at me for what happened the day prior. His head was on his desk instead of upright and yelling, which didn't really make sense to me. My thoughts were interrupted when Midoriya turned in his seat to face me.
"Hey Todoroki!" He had a determined smile on his face, "Are you ready for this exam?"
Shit. The exam. I paid enough attention to hope I could pass, but I still completely forgot.
"Yeah I think so, you?" I replied.
He nodded, "I stayed up all night working on some notes to make sure I wouldn't forget a single thing! I even included pictures for extra support!"
He turned his notebook to me to show many pages with very neat handwriting and small doodles next to certain words. He even highlighted terms in his sentences. I admired his dedication.
"That's really cool, Midoriya," I replied.
I half expected for Bakugou to turn around and make fun of him but he didn't. His head still stuck to his desk. His shoulders moved up and down with each breath he took. His breathing patterns were irregular. Either he was trying to pretend to sleep or he was trembling, I could see it. 
"I apologize for my tardiness, but I'm here now. You all know what's going to happen so you should know the routine by now. Don't cheat because I will know. When you're finished I don't care what you do just keep to yourself. Turn your sheets in right here," Mr. Aizawa patted a spot on his podium, "I'm going to relax now. Iida, pass out the packets, please."
"Yes sir," Iida shot up quickly and passed out everyone's packets. 
"Everyone try to do your best, " He said as he set packets on everyone's desk. He reached Bakugou and slid it under his arms. The blond sat up quickly and didn't spare a look at anything except the pages in front of him.
I received mine and immediately started to fill in blanks and answer questions. The room was silent. Only pages turning and pens scribbling could be heard.
   When I came to a difficult question I had to stop and think. I looked up from my desk, curious about Bakugou yet again. He wasn't writing anything. He had one hand holding his head up and the other rested on the desk without a pen or pencil in hand. Why wasn't he working? I shook myself out of my thoughts and tried to complete my work as best as I could.
When we all finished, except Bakugou, everyone started quietly talking. As I set my packet down on top of everyone else's I couldn't help my curiosity and used a finger to peek at Bakugou's exam. It was all blank? Why? How could he not finish? 
I turned on my heel and started to walk back, I made eye contact with him. He didn't even make an effort to look angry. He looked tired, slightly upset, and a little sad. I tried to hold on to his eyes but he immediately broke contact and lowered his head again. What was with him? Questions flooded my brain as I sat back down.
Soon enough it was time for lunch again. This time I waited with Bakugou until we were alone. I don't think he noticed I was behind him.
I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. He immediately tensed and shot away from my hand.
"Get the fuck away from me why are you still in here?" He spat.
"I…" I needed to remain calm, "I want to help you."
He furrowed his eyebrows together, "Help? Are you fucking kidding me? Help me with what exactly?"
I motioned to Aizawa's podium, "I saw your test, you didn't fill in anything… I'm sure he'll let you retake it but if you don't know the answers I want to help."
He looked away from me, "I don't need your help. I did that on purpose. Do you think I'm just some fucking idiot?"
I sighed and leaned against the top of a desk behind me, "I just wanted to ask. I don't think you're an idiot. Won't you at least consider it?"
"After that fucking stunt you pulled yesterday? I don't EVER want you to assume you can just talk to me whenever. LEAVE ME ALONE!" He shouted and left the room.
I stood there alone for a moment. He frustrated me. Every time I look at him I can tell there's something going on with him. I think everyone is too scared to confront him, but he doesn't scare me. I want to be the first person to crack his code. I want to know why he acts the way he does.
What am I thinking? He's never mattered to me, ever. Now that I've been paying more attention, he intrigues me. Since no one else has ever gotten close to him I took it as a challenge. At that moment I knew I was going to get to him. I just had to figure out how to get past his unlikeable act.