Without You || todobaku

13

SHOTO'S POV (since we're on a first-name basis now)

I prepared to leave Katsuki's home after we cleaned ourselves up. He was disappointed to see me go, but if I wanted to have a life at all I needed to get home. I put my clothes back on and kissed him once more before turning to leave. I stopped, looking back at him. He was shaking.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
He didn't say anything, he just lowered his head and brought his hands to his face. He sounded like he was crying? I set my bag down and returned to his side.
"Hey, what's wrong? Did I do something?" I asked him, wrapping an arm across his shoulders to bring him close.
"N-No it's stupid, just go, you have to go or you'll get flamed by your pops," He said in an uneasy tone.
"Something is clearly wrong, I'm staying until you tell me."
He sighed and moved his hands from his face, tears soaking his eyelashes and cheeks, "I told you it's really stupid."
I brought my sleeve to his face and wiped his eyes, "I promise it's not, just talk to me."
He stayed silent for a minute, holding back his crying, "M-My parents are never home and… well…" He sighed shortly and hid his face, "I'm scared, I can't handle being in this house alone. I'm fucking terrified of something happening, I can't fall asleep ever without going into a full-fledged panic attack. All I do is cry and scream until I pass out," He said, clenching his jaw.
I wrapped my other arm around him and hugged him, "Katsuki that isn't stupid."
"Oh yes it is, it's fucking stupid. So stupid. I'm such a child," He sobbed into his hands.
"Dammit Katsuki it isn't stupid, look at me," I grabbed his face to look at me, "Nothing's gonna hurt you. I won't let that happen."
He blinked and furrowed his eyebrows, "You can't promise that, we're not around each other 24/7."
I let go of his face, "If I could I would be, but I can't. I'm sorry. Why don't you call me? Anytime you feel anxious, just call me. I'll talk to you until you can sleep."
He thought for a moment, "okay" was all he whispered. I hugged him again and wiped away any lingering tears. 
"I need to go, you're gonna be okay. Call me before it gets worse okay? I'll talk you down, anything you need," I told him, grabbing my bag and slinging it across my shoulder. He nodded. I grabbed the door, looking at him sitting there. I reached into my bag and took out my hoodie I usually carried around just in case. I tossed it next to him.
"Put that on, I'll talk to you later okay?" I said, and left his room.
I walked out of his home and picked up my pace into a jog. I really needed to get home, I stayed too long. It frustrated me to have to leave him like that. I wasn't expecting him to break down like that again. When I got home my father was there as well. He didn't come out of his study when I shut the door, so I went straight to my bedroom. After everything that I did, I definitely needed a shower. I grabbed a towel from my closet and a change of comfier clothes, stepping out to get to the bathroom. It sounded like my father was on the phone, his voice rumbled quietly behind the door. 
I entered the bathroom and shut the door, glancing at myself in the mirror as I turned to turn on the water. I took off my clothes and proceeded to shower, scrubbing down every inch of skin I had. My mind kept slipping away to think about my time with Katsuki. It was very heavy on my mind, the way he looked when he was about to climax… the way he screamed my name… the way he held onto my arms as I beat my emotions into his body… I sighed and ducked my head under the water, letting it spill over the top of my head. I felt closer to Katsuki than ever now which gave me a lot of ease in my head. One less thing to worry so much over. Thinking back to before I left and the way he looked made me hurry. I needed to call him. Hopefully I'm allowed a peaceful night alone in my room without my father's intruding personality.
I stepped out and dried myself off. I pulled my clothes on and ran a hand through my wet hair. I picked up my clothes and towel before heading back to my room. 
I threw my clothes and towel to the side and dug my phone out from my bag and dialed Katuski. He picked up in no time.
"Hey, how you feeling?" I said quietly, sliding under my blankets.
"Better now," He answered, "I miss you."
"I miss you too," I replied and turned over on my side, "I can't stop thinking about… you know…"
"Me neither, it was really nice," He said, shuffling around on the other line.
"Did I hurt you?" I asked.
He chuckled a little, "No, you didn't. You would've known."
"Okay, okay, sorry. I'm just worried I didn't perform well enough but I guess you wouldn't know either since we were both virgins."
"Yeah, no, don't worry. You did perfect."
I sat for a moment, really unsure of what to say next.
I could hear him sigh, "Sorry for freaking out a little earlier."
"Katsuki don't worry about that, you know I'm here for those kinds of things."
"Yeah, I just feel stupid because I'm not panicking as bad I thought I would."
"Well you're talking to me, instead of focusing on any of that."
"You're right, still, I'm a little embarrassed. I hate fucking crying."
"Well I'm sorry love, but you cry as much as Midoriya does."
I laughed when I heard him scoff, "The hell I do! Deku's weak and anything can make him cry."
I smiled a bit and switched my hands to hold my phone better, "I might fall asleep on you, I'm not gonna lie. The sex took it out of me."
"I feel the same way, we can hang up if you want."
"Well are you going to be okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, think so. Thank you for being so… great."
I chuckled under my breath, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Shoto."
"Goodnight."
"Night."