Without You || todobaku

8

Bakugou's POV

As I walked through the empty halls of the academy, I continued to touch my lips with my fingers. I replayed the scene of me on my side next to Todoroki's body on the bed. His fingers tangled in my hair, my hands pulling him close, our lips slow dancing against each other. I found myself unlocking another part of who I was that I had no idea existed. I didn't think I could feel that way with another male let alone Shoto fucking Todoroki. 
My chest was a mess of knots, like my heart was suffocating. I wasn't prepared to attend class with so much on my mind. My body moved itself almost automatically to get myself into the classroom.
I took my seat and slumped back into my chair, staring at the surface of my desk. I couldn't hear anything but my own thoughts. Not even Deku's shrieking from behind me in whatever he and Kaminari were talking about.
When the lunch hour rolled around I skipped out on the crowds and shit. I found myself curiously peeking into the infirmary doors. Recovery Girl must be elsewhere. Shinso was gone. Todoroki's funny hair was a dead giveaway. He was still there, laying with his back facing the door. I stepped in and quietly shut the doors. 
I took small steps to get closer to him, feeling a bit awkward just watching him sleep. His shoulder and chest moved with every breath he took. His face had no emotion, just a soft plain face deep in sleep.
My hand reached out to touch his shoulder, which he didn't wake up for. When that didn't work I drew my hand back and mentally beat the shit out of myself. Why was this so hard? It's not like there were plenty of other situations with Todoroki that were difficult. This was happening because I brought myself here. 
I reached out again, this time grabbing Todoroki's elbow. 
"Icyhot?" I said quietly, pulling at his arm a little.
Todoroki moved a bit and licked his lips. The heterochromatic eyes opened little slits to look at me.
"What are you doing here?" He whispered, obviously still half asleep.
"I don't know," I replied, releasing his elbow.
He rubbed his eyes and rolled over, leaving a space for me to sit, which I did. He moved so his torso was parallel to mine. He leaned his head on my shoulder and let out a sleepy hum. I didn't say anything to him after that. I let him fall back asleep against my body, listening to his breathing patterns change as he slipped unconscious. 
It was therapeutic to sit there in the silence with him. I then understood that this is what I needed. I needed him to be near me for me to feel okay. I'd never felt this way before, and it scared me. His left side was so warm against me and nearly made me fall asleep myself. I resisted, knowing anyone could walk in at any given time and catch me here. I wanted to keep this to myself. The two of us like this felt better knowing it really was just the two of us.
I pressed my nose to his head and breathed in the scent of his hair, which was a mix of milk and honey. His hair was so soft. He twitched a bit and his arm shot across my waist, yanking me closer as he shifted his bandaged legs. My chest ached worse. The sleeping kid next to me was making my head feel so much emotion.
I closed my eyes for just a little bit to take it all in. Not long after I almost fell asleep I could hear many footsteps in the halls and I knew my time was up. I lifted my head and lightly pushed Todoroki's body off of me. His eyes opened a bit when I did.
"Leaving?" He mumbled, blinking slowly.
I nodded and grabbed my bag from the floor.
"Alright…" He said, watching me leave.
I turned and looked back at him before leaving for class.

TODOROKI'S POV

At the end of the day I was finally able to move my legs with less strain. I sat up and moved them to the side to plant my feet on the ground. It was a little dull pain that made my knees shake, but I could walk.
Recovery Girl told me to take things slow, she pointed to where she had my clothes folded next to my bed. She then left and told me to turn off the lights when I left.
I grabbed my clothes and carefully slipped my pants on. Then my shirt and jacket. I wasn't particularly eager to get home but I was glad to get out of that bed. When I grabbed my things I left, walking outside the building and gripping my bag's strap as I carefully stepped onto the soil from the curb and began a slightly painful walk home.
My heart fluttered when I was able to recall a very vague memory of seeing Bakugou next to me. I had almost forgotten he came back to see me. It felt good knowing there was progress being made. I wanted to call him, but my phone was completely dead. I reminded myself to charge it and try later.
When I arrived home, my father was on the front porch. He was reading tabloids in the paper, and looked up when I cleared my throat.
He stood and also cleared his throat, "You missed a crucial day in training today Shoto."
Out of habit my head lowered as well as my shoulders.
"Stand up straight, you can walk, so we must make up for the loss of practice," He said sternly.
"With all due respect, Recovery Girl said I needed to take it easy. My knees aren't fully recovered."
He looked frustrated, "No excuses! Get downstairs and take off that uniform. Knees or not, I'm not letting my son fall behind.
I kept myself from sighing and did what he commanded. My room felt stale. It was too small and too dark. I only had a bed, tv, dresser, and a bookshelf. I wasn't allowed to put things on the walls. There was one narrow window that didn't catch much sun because of the direction it faced. I looked around and dropped my bag, removing my jacket, pants, and shirt. I settled on a blue t-shirt and shorts. They weren't my best clothes but I couldn't wear anything I liked when I played with fire.
When I got downstairs my father lectured me. It took him forever to get straight to the point. I tried my best to focus but I couldn't keep my mind from slipping to think about the blond I kissed today. What feared me is my father finding out. He'd have my ass for it for sure.
"Right then, Shoto, let's begin."
He threw attack after attack at me, I chose the safe route and blocked his fire with ice. I should've known better than to start with my right side, but it kept me from being burnt by his heat. He yelled at me and demanded my fire, so I complied. Though he was much stronger than I, I had the hang of controlling it well enough to stay on my feet. I hadn't moved at all, my feet stayed put. I was afraid to move too suddenly with my bad knees. In a split second that I had my guard down, a flame of great force and temperature threw me against the wall. I landed on my feet and let out a yell feeling my knees give out. 
"Get up Shoto, get up."
I can't. But I did. I used the wall to help distribute my weight evenly to prevent the pain from growing. I threw my hands up with both ice and fire shooting in front of me when he attacked again. He began moving more and coming closer, almost forcing me to pivot and move my legs. Recovery Girl was definitely right. My knees were in no shape to sustain the stress of pivoting and standing up against blunt force. I knew if I tried to stop I'd get reprimanded. I prayed that he wouldn't go on all night.

I dropped to the floor, giving up on holding myself on my feet. We fought for three hours and I couldn't move a muscle. My knees were throbbing and my entire torso felt dry and burnt. My skin steamed as I tried to cool myself down. My father cracked his back and left the room, telling me to pick myself up off the ground and get to bed. When the door shut I exhaled and winced. I sat up, holding my knees and hissing through my teeth. They hurt badly. I couldn't get up if I wanted to. So I remained in that room for a while with my back against the wall. My hair shaded my eyes from seeing anything but my own lap. I tried to regulate my breathing and relax. My ears were still ringing from the commotion.
 I didn't feel any stronger after that session. I felt weak. Weaker than I have ever felt. I tried to make my old man proud enough to get off my ass but it was a never ending test with him. I wasn't ever good enough.
After what seemed like 20 minutes I tried my hardest to get up. One foot after the other I limped up the stairs and to my room. I removed my shorts and shirt and examined my torso. Not a lot of burns, but enough to sting. I grabbed aloe from my drawer and used my right hand to apply it so it was cool and soothed the stingy sensation for a moment. This was routine for me, so I was quick to figure out how to cope. My knees reminded me that standing felt terrible, so I collapsed backwards on my bed and rubbed my eyes.
I grabbed my phone and turned it on. When it finally booted up I scrolled through the contacts I had and for some reason couldn't find Bakugou's number. I texted Midoriya for it, which he responded with in seconds. 
When I went to put the number in I found it was already in my phone under the name "Hot Head". I laughed in my head. I forgot that's how I put his name down.
I pressed the phone icon and held the speaker to my ear. It rang, and rang, and rang. There was a click, then some shuffling.
"Dude, do you know what time it is?" His voice was rough, sleepy, and so deep ugh.
I looked at the time on my phone, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize 10pm was late to you."
"I go to sleep at a reasonable hour Icyhot, what do you want?"
I bit my lip, "I don't know."
He scoffed and sighed, "Why did you even call me?"
"To talk to you, I don't know," I replied, feeling stupid.
"We can talk at literally any other time when I'm not trying to sleep," he replied.
"Right, sorry, I just needed to talk to someone is all. But it's alright, I'll let you sleep. I'm sorry for disturbing you."
"You sound just like Deku, Icyhot. Goodnight."
"Night," He hung up. I sat my phone on my side table and rolled onto my back. 
I was developing feelings for Bakugou faster than he was for me. I didn't want to seem clingy but I was starting to realize I needed him a lot more than he probably needed me. I swore I'd be there to help him through anything, which was the damn truth. However, I had my own demons that constantly swarmed me. Home was the worst bit, maybe a bit of my father, and maybe everything else as well. I wanted to be close to him to feel like I had a chance at being okay.
My eyes grew heavy as I continued to think about him, slowly bringing me into sleep. My knees for once subsided their throbbing as I slipped away into my own mind.