Without You || todobaku

19

SHOTO'S POV

  A few more days had passed since I last saw Bakugo and it felt like forever. I hadn't even laid eyes on my father since that day. He's made a huge effort to steer very clear from me if he's home. Fuyumi has been great to have around. She's very cheerful and eases any anxieties I have in that house. It felt like having mom around before that one very specific day that changed our lives.
 Even though my father wanted nothing to do with me, he still found ways to "punish" me for being gay. Whether it was picking every weed outside, wiping down all of the walls in the house, or scrubbing floors, he always had a task for me. Today it was the kitchen.
 As I was scrubbing the last of the kitchen tiles, Fuyumi entered the room and knelt down beside me.
"Hey, Shoto," She said in a slightly sad tone.
I looked up at her, wringing out the sponge in my hand over the bucket.
"You're not gonna like what I have to tell you," She sighed, pushing her glasses up further on the bridge of her nose.
"Oh?" I replied.
"I have to leave tonight to get back home in time for the end of my leave, the children need their teacher back," She said, "So you'll be here by yourself with Dad again…"
I kept scrubbing, ignoring the slight panic I felt, "It's fine, I'll be okay. You should definitely get back home."
I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Don't… let him hurt you. Natsu and I both are here for you and if you need us please call us. Okay, Shoto?"
"Alright, thanks for everything," I said.
She rubbed my shoulder once more and stood up, exiting the room. I took a deep breath and counted to three. If she was leaving, I'd have nothing to put in between my father and I if he tried anything again. I threw the sponge in the bucket and stood up. I needed fresh air. He wasn't going to be back any time soon. The clock read quarter till four. Class would've been over by now.
I slid my feet in my shoes and left the house. I walked the few blocks it took to get to Midoriya's. When I got to the door I raised my hand and knocked. I waited a moment and got no answer. I knocked again, looking down at the floor. It took a minute, but the door unlocked and opened. Midoriya peeked his head through and saw me standing there.
“Oh, Todoroki,” He opened the door wider for me to step in.
I glanced over at the couch to see it wasn’t folded out anymore. Katsuki’s bags and shoes weren’t there either. I looked back at Midoriya.
“Did Bakugo leave?” I asked.
He nodded and looked off at something else, “Yes…”
Something felt off, Midoriya was sulking too much. He had his arms crossed and his neck low. I looked around again and then back to him.
“Are his parents already back or something?”
He shook his head, “No.”
I got a bit frustrated with his vague responses and put a hand on his shoulder. He responded by slipping away from the touch and looked me in the eye.
“He went to stay with Kirishima instead. You can find him there, not here.”
I blinked and stared at him. It was one thing to hear he’d gone to stay with Kirishima, but another thing to see Midoriya act so differently. 
“Did something happen?” I asked.
He turned away and sighed, “I don’t really want to talk about it, no offense. You can ask him what happened. I’m sure he’d be glad to see you anyway.”
“I guess,” I looked at the floor, “Where does Kirishima live?”
He shook his head, “I don’t know, alright? If you’re only here to ask about him can you please leave? I don’t want anything to do with him.”
I stood there silently. Something was definitely wrong and I didn’t want to push Midoriya any further than this.
“Okay, thanks Midoriya. I’ll see you in class Thursday.”
I turned and left his home. As I walked down the street I kept replaying the look on Midoriya’s face. He looked tired and worried. I’d seen a look like that before so I was pretty familiar with the image. If this really had to do with Katsuki then it only made me more worried. It didn’t sit right with me that he went to stay with Kirishima. I’ve seen the way he looks at Katsuki. He’s so touchy and close with him. It makes me want to punch the kid. Though, it’s also my fault for having us keep our relationship a secret. If Kirishima knew then I’m sure he’d tone it down a bit. Would he?
I walked towards the school, hoping I could remember the route Kaminari and Kirishima would take to walk home. If I remembered correctly, Kirishima lived closer to Katsuki than Kaminari did. He would always be the last one walking with Katsuki every day. 
When I got closer to the school, I walked the way I knew it took to get to Katsuki’s home. I looked around at each street sign, trying to piece together everything. I only ended up walking in one giant circle though. Nothing familiar after a certain point. There was no way I’d find Kirishima’s house without an address. It wasn’t like I could ask anyone either, without my phone I was disconnected from everyone. 
I gave up and chose to walk home instead. It was only another day the both of us would have to go through without seeing each other at school. It made me feel stupid to think about making eye contact with Aizawa after everything. I tried to shake the thought out of my head as I neared my home.

KATSUKI’S POV

I stretched my arms and kicked an empty soda can with my foot in the process of waking up from a painful nap. Kirishima’s floor wasn’t very comfortable, but it wasn’t Deku’s home so it has to work. Kirishima was standing across the room undoing the tie on his neck. He looked over at me and flashed a toothy smile.
“Good afternoon sleepy,” He said, “I brought some notes for you.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled a piece of fuzz from my hair, “Thanks.”
He slid his uniform shirt off and I quickly looked away at something else. He seemed to notice and laugh at that.
“Geez Bakugo you act like I’m the devil,” He grabbed a t-shirt and slipped it on.
I scoffed, “Yeah okay, are you done?”
He switched out his pants for a more casual pair and sat on his bed next to me. He ran a hand through his gel-filled hair and let out a long dramatic sigh.
“I gotta give it to you Bakugo, class is a little boring without your sarcasm!”
“Like I’ve been much entertainment lately, these damn headaches all the time make it hard to even give a shit.”
“Headaches? You didn’t say anything about headaches.”
“Everyone has them, Shitty Hair.”
He gasped, “I haven’t heard that one in a while, is it really that bad?”
I rolled my eyes again, “You’re annoying.”
He laughed and kicked me with his foot, “You know I'm here for you, Bakugo. I know you probably don't want to reopen this wound and talk about what happened yesterday, but… I guess I was just a little shocked to see you panic like that."
I picked at the skin on my nails and kept quiet.
"Has that happened to you before?"
I nodded, "Yeah."
He leaned over a bit and slid to the floor next to me, "That bad?"
I shrugged, "Sometimes worse."
I heard him sigh and he put an arm around my shoulders, "You never told me."
"Sorry, not something I want to talk about."
He squeezed my shoulder firmly, "But I want to help you."
I pushed his hand away and grumbled, "I don't want your help."
We sat there in silence for what felt like infinity. I could feel him staring at me, but I chose to ignore it. Thinking about panicking made me want to panic. It just wasn't something I wanted to happen right now. Not here.
"Do you remember when we met?" He finally spoke, in a soft tone.
I remembered. He had no idea how to use gel so his hair was a dry, frizzy mess. His teeth would always stab the inside of his lips anytime he spoke or smiled. He wouldn't ever leave me alone, no matter how mean I was to him. Every move I would make he would follow, like I was a bone to a dog. 
"Mm-" I responded as I played through old memories.
He leaned his back against the bed, "I remember too."
I pictured the days where I would try to blast him out of my way, but his quirk was always one step ahead of me. He hardly took any damage from my attacks. He would always laugh in my face and try to mess with my hair. His fingers would always get stuck in the tangles. I remembered the first time I met his parents and he wouldn't let go of my hand. He held onto it for dear life. I remember the first night I stayed over and he and his father got into a fist fight. I remember that night I didn't get any sleep because all he wanted to do was lay on top of me and bitch about it. 
I felt his hand touch my leg and I didn't push it away. For a moment it didn't feel wrong. Remembering everything took me far from reality. He raised a hand to turn my face to his. He closed his eyes and leaned forward.
Just before our lips touched I shoved him away and shifted a bit away from him. He looked disappointed. I pulled my knees to my chest and sighed.
"Don't."
"But why?" He whispered.

"Because we're not together anymore, Kirishima."