i miss you

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*Erika's POV

He was laying there, hooked up to a million machines. The beeping noise was a steady reminder that he was alice, but he was hurt. I sat by his bed side since the doctor called us in and said he was now stable. I cried for a while, thinking horrible thoughts, but also remembering all our good times. Every memory hurt again because what if he doesn't wake up? That's all I'd have. Memories.

"You're going to wake up. I know you are. You can't just leave me like this. You can't leave our baby without a father." I whispered to air. It's not like he was going to talk back to me. He wasn't just going to wake up and tell me everything will be okay. "Wake up Ashton!" I yelled, crying hard. "Just wake up! How hard is it to open your fucking eyes?!" With no energy left in me, I sank to the chair and cried, gripping Ashton's limp hand. Suddenly, his hand twitched and my eyes shot open with hope. 

"Nurse! Hello!? Someone!" I yelled, never letting go of Ashton. A nurse ran into the room, worry on her face, but when she saw the smile on my face, she calmed down. "His hand moved! He is waking up now, right? I've seen this in the movies...this is when he is about to wake up, right?"

The lady looked around, opened his eyelids, shined a light there, and frowned. "No, I'm sorry. He is still unresponsive." She said sadly.

"But he moved. He responded to me." I fought. "Ash, baby, do it again, squeeze my hand. Show her that you're going to wake up now." ...

Nothing. I sank into the chair, again too weak to hold myself up.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes people in his state will twitch here and there. You may think it's a voluntary movement but it's just his body settling down or making an adjustment. Call for me if you need anything else, Miss." The lady explained and I numbly nodded. 

*Kaitlyn's POV

We'd all been at this stupid hospital for too long. No one has gone home to shower or sleep, too afraid to miss something happen with Ashton. I understood the worry and fear, but I knew this wasn't healthy. I lift my head from Luke's chest and see him staring straight ahead at the wall. His arms weren't around me like he usually held me when I leaned on him like this. He actually hadn't held me since Ashton had been shot. 

"Luke?" He didn't do anything to acknowledge me, but I knew he heard me. "Are you guys still going on tour?" I don't know where the question came from, but it needed to be asked. 

He slowly turned his attention to me. He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. The question took him by surprise and he had no answer. The other guys looked to him for the answer, but.."I- I don't..I mean.. how could we? We don't have a drummer. We don't have someone to sing his parts...we don't have-"

"Ashton." Calum answered. The one word silenced the room again. 

"We can't do it, Katy." Luke looked at me, his eyes watery. I knew he was trying hard not to cry by the way his eyes became a lighter blue, glossy and his nose turned a light pink. 

"Aww, baby, don't cry. Please don't cry. It's going to be okay. Ashton will be fine, yeah?" I assured him, but he refused to meet my gaze. I grabbed his face in my hands, demanding his attention. "Yeah?" I asked again, looking him deep in his blue eyes. A tear fell from his eye as he nodded, chewing on his lip ring. I swept the tear away with my thumb and kissed his neck. "You'll be okay."

It was quiet again, no one speaking, tension filled the air just like it had been before, hovering, making me uncomfortable, but I had nothing to say this time. 

"Hey, I have an idea. Let's go grab a guitar and sing in Ash's room. It'll be like the old days when he didn't drum for us... but this time he will be listening." Michael suggested and that had everyone's attention.