i miss you

Dreaming

"Cal, will you take me home?" I asked, completely drained. I don't know how long I was there, sitting in the darkness of my own mind. Could have been days, or weeks, I didn't know.

"You are home." he whispered as he played with my hair. I looked around taking in the unfamiliar furniture. How did I get here? When did I get here?

Very slowly I start to remember. After being stuck in a trance for so long in the hospital waiting room, the guys tried talking to me, making me take a walk with them, but each time I refused. One time, after Calum came back from wherever he went, he bent down, picked me up, set me in a taxi and we went to his house. I've been here ever since.

"Do you want to eat something?" He asked me. Even though my stomachs grumble begged for food, I shook my head. I knew if I ate, I wouldn't be able to keep it down. "Katy, you need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Kaitlyn-"

"I said no. I just want to sleep." I demanded as I laid down on the bed Cal let me sleep in. Hesitantly, Calum left the room but not before kissing me on the cheek. I was tired, but sleeping scared me. Each time I fell asleep, I had the same nightmare over and over. As much as I wanted to stay awake, to stay away from the nightmare, I was way too tired and before I knew it, I standing in front of Luke.

"I shouldn't love you." he said, his words cutting into my heart. "I don't love you. I'm leaving now." And he did. He just let me in tears. As I watched him get into the car from the window, the nightmare started. He got behind the wheel and before he made it 5 feet, a speeding semi raced down the street, hitting his car, turning it into nothing but a ball of flames. The semi went unharmed as it continued to roll down the street.

"No! No Luke!" I stand at the top of my lungs. I needed to get him to safety. I threw open the door and raced for the flaming car. Anyone in their right mind would know L i ke was already long gone, but I couldn't lose him. "Luke!" I yelled just before throwing myself into the fire. I couldn't find him. He wasn't anywhere, but I didn't give up even as my skin burned. After long agonizing minutes, I finally found him. I pulled him from the car and held on tightly as I cried.

"Luke! Come back! Please!" I screamed over and over as I thrashed about, trying to kill the flames on our bodies.

"Shh. You're okay." I heard his voice and all at once, the flames were gone, replaced by a different kind of warmth. I was safe and no longer in pain. "Wake up, Katy." Luke whispered. I was dreaming. I missed him so much.

"No! Come back!"

"Hey, I'm right here. Wake up," his voice finally pulled me out of my sleep until I was back in the world where Luke died. The thought made me sick and I turned to run to the bathroom but as I flipped over, I couldn't move. Someone's body was holding me tightly.

I looked up expecting to see black hair and brown eyes, but I didn't. "Luke?" I quickly sat up in shock. He wasn't real. This was a dream. Luke died at the hospital. "Go away." I cried into my hands, trying to push Luke's voice out of my mind.

I felt the bed shift just a bit and I closed my eyes against my insanity. The next thing I knew, I was trapped between two long legs, and the hair on my neck was being pushed to the side.

"I miss you so much," I whispered into the empty room.

"Don't. I'm right here, Katy," he replied. I felt his lips on my neck, causing me to gasp. How was I able to imagine such a thing? We've never kissed, so how did I know what his lips felt like? I didn't have long to think about it because his lips parted just barely and his tongue traced around the bottom of my earlobe. "I love you." he whispered, turning me inside out.

"Then why did you die? Why did you turn to her! Why didn't you just call me? Why didn't you make me stay! This is your fault!" I screamed, another flood of anger washig through me.

"I know," his breath was heavy on my skin. "I know, but sweetheart, believe me when I say I'm right here. Just open your eyes and look at me."

I shook my head. I knew that if I looked, this dream would vanish and I would be alone again.

"Fine then, keep them closed, but turn around so I can kiss you." he pleaded and I couldn't resist. As long as my eyes were shut, what could be the harm? Slowly, careful not to even take a peek, I turned my head. Luke took charge from there as he cupped my cheek and placed his lips on mine. It was our first kiss. But it wasn't. He was dead, and this was my mind playing tricks. I felt a tear escape my eye and Luke captured it with his thumb before it had the power to fall.

"Katy, open your eyes." he leaned his head against mine. I shook my head again.

"You'll leave again."

"I'm not going anywhere, love. Open your eyes." For some reason, I believed him. I trusted him, and that's what allowed me to open my eyes.

It took me a million minutes to process everything I saw. Luke's hair was messy, the skin around his cheek was a faint purple, his lip had a healing cut, his aem was in a sling, and his outfit was lazy. A plain white t-shirt and gray sweat pants. But the main thing I noticed was the fact he was sitting right in front of me.

"You're still here." I smiled before frowning in confusion. "How? Am I crazy?"

"You're not crazy. Katy, I didn't die. I just got released from the hospital." he explained but I still couldn't believe it.

"I was yelling and hitting you, and then you started shaking, and the doctor.. he said..." what did he say? I only remember zoning out after he said I'm sorry. I don't know how, maybe it was because Luke was right in front of me, but suddenly my mind recalled the rest of the doctors words. I'm sorry to give everyone such a scare. I believe something triggered Luke's mind into waking up because he is awake now. Very tired and he's in pain, but he is awake. "Luke?" Tears formed in my eyes before he latched his lips onto mine. Our lips were in sync, he was everything I dreamed of. The power of his kiss, of this moment could very well take over me. But suddenly I remember all the days I laid in here completely numb, sick to my stomach and heart broken. I broke the kiss and lashed out at him.

"Why Luke? Why did you scare me like that? You broke my heart! You almost died! Why did you do it! You couldn't have just called me? You couldn't have asked Michael to pick you up! How could you be so STUPID! It... I need you." He grabbed me in his arm, holding me close kissing my head as he rocked me back and forth. "You can't leave me."

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I'll never leave you again. I'm yours forever."