i miss you

Pizza

*Eriak's POV*

"What?" I gasped quietly in hurt shock.

"Cut my wrist as many times you cut yours." he said, pushing his wrist closer to me.

"No. I can't do that." I shook my head in disbelief. How could he even think I would do such a thing?

"Why not? You can hurt yourself, but you can't hurt me?" he asked, and I had to turn my eyes away from his because the look I saw there was crushing me. His fore finger grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. "What you don't get is that those cuts there," he motioned to my wrist, "those hurt me more than any cut you could inflict on me." And what he didn't know was his words hurt me more than anything. "So cut me." he insisted. I shook my head, on the verge of tears. "Do it." he said a bit more harshly which ultimately turned into my undoing. Tears violently fell from my eyes as I shook my head, mumbling the word "no," over and over.

"I can't do it, Ash, I can't."

"Shh, shh, I know." Ashton took the blade from my trembling hands before bringing me into his lap, holding me close and kissing my head as he whispered sweet nothings.

Finally I calmed down enough to feel that Ashtons lips had moved from the top of my head to the base of my neck.

"Ashton," I started to say in a warning manor, but was quickly cut off by his quiet voice.

"Shh..you're safe." he said as he moved my hair off to the side so he had better access to my neck. His lips were so soft and smooth. Each kiss he placed, only lasted a second or two, but the feeling lingered even after his lips had left my skin. I didn't noticed his hands moving, but the moment his thumb softly brushed across the cuts, I inhaled sharply. His touch brought a spark to the skin there. It wasn't painful nor soothing. It was just simply electrifying. "You're okay now." his mouth trailed lightly across my neck until he came into contact with my jaw line. There, he started leaving light kisses again. They are sweet and unrushed. He was turning me inside out. These small little innocent kisses weren't enough. I needed more. "I have you Erika." his hot breath landed on my ear, sending shivers down my spine. His thumb on my wrist, his breath on my skin, his lips on my jaw, it was all too much. He stayed so calm that I would have believed he was unaffected by all of this if I hadn't heard the slight hitch in his breath. Luckily, that was all the encouragement I needed to turn my body around until I was straddling his hips and we were face to face. I grabbed his face in my hands as I brought my mouth to his.

The kiss was slow at first, as if he believed I would break, but the moment I slipped my tongue out and traced his bottom lip, he became more male as he let out an approving growl. His hands found a way into my hair so that he could create a better angle in order to deepen the kiss. Things quickly became heated, and before I knew it, I was on my back, lying beneath Ashton.

His lips had left mine as he trailed his mouth down my neck once again. It felt good, everything about this moment felt so good. But it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I needed more. I craved more.

"Ash," his name left my lips as my back arched, silently pleading for more of something I didn't know how to ask for.

And then he was gone. He was no longer kissing me, or lying on top of me. And without him pressed against me, I felt naked.

I sat up immediately, which brought us face to face again but the way he was shaking his head, I suddenly felt awkward. Maybe I did the wrong thing? Said the wrong thing? Maybe I didn't say something I was supposed to.

"Did I do something wr-"

"No." he snapped.

"Then...what happened?"

"We can't do this Erika. Not when you're like this. I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

"I don't care." I said, shocking myself with my honesty. But right now, I could care less, I just wanted the boy who sat in front of me.

"But I do." he looked at me and the darkness of his eyes only made me want him more.

"I want you, Ash," I said reaching for him, but he grabbed both my hands in one of his and with the other, bushed back a few strands of my hair.

His eyes were locked on mine, and I saw the longing there. The hurt and hope. I knew why he didn't want to continue on, and I knew I had to be okay with his decision. He was only looking out for me.

"Out of all the times you decide to be mature, you have to pick right now? Why is that?" I laughed, and his lips picked up in a smile, showing off his famous dimples.

There was a second of silence before his smile grew a bit wider. "The pizza is getting cold." he nodded towards a lonely pizza box on the table on the other side of the room.

I couldn't help but crack up at his comment. While I was trying to collect myself, Ashton had got up and brought the box over to the couch and sat it between us. "Its always about the food with you."

"Always, babe." he smirked with a wink as he handed me a slice of pizza. Its going to be one long night.