i miss you

No Goodbye

*Erika's POV*

"Watch out!!"

My eyes shot open and my breathing was heavy. I looked around the room, taking a moment to take in the day.

It was early the next morning, just like 6 or 7. I had fallen asleep on the chair beside the window in Kaitlyn's room once Ashton and the other guys left. Katy hasn't woken up since last night,  at least not that I had heard of. Good for her, she needs to rest.

This morning, I had woken up before a nightmare had time to form. I felt one creeping in from the darkness, but it was different from all the others I've always had about Mary. 

I was sitting in a car with Kaitlyn and Mary in the back seat, I in the passenger seat next to Ashton who was driving. Everything was going fine. Conversation was fun and laughter filed the car until a pair of blinding headlights blinded me and panic shot through the dream as Kaitlyn screamed "Watch out!"

As I sit here now, only half awake, I shudder at the thought of losing him. I know I don't even know him, I've only talked to him a couple of times and I've cried on his shoulder for what seemed like days, but the truth of it all, no matter how much of a stranger he is to me, he is the only one holding me together right now.

My eyes move away from the bright window and land on the black phone doing circles between my fingers. I look down at the new name in my contacts. Bandanna:P

I wanted nothing more to call or text him right now, but I knew I shouldn't.  If I did, I would look clingy, or like too much of an obsessed fan. Right then I decided I need to wait until he calls first. No matter how hard that will be...

*Kaitlyn's POV*

I woke up to the sound of excessive vibrating. Looking all around the room, I finally found the source. Erika's phone was buzzing a mile a minute. How did she not wake up? She must have been out. I carefully stretched just enough to reach her phone, grabbing it out of her hands, I looked at the caller I.D.

Bandanna:P ? Who was that? I don't know if I should answer it, but what if it was someone important. I'll just let them leave a message. I set the phone down as I let the call go to voicemail. But when it finally stopped ringing, I only had a second of silence until it buzzed again. UGH! Fine. I swiped my finger across the green button and answered quietly. 

"Hello?"

"Erika?! Are you okay? Why weren't you answering?" The australian accent was obviously paniced. Ahh, now I know who this is. But why would he be calling? Isn't he here? 

"Hey, Ashton, it's Kaitlyn..." Woah, I just realized I haven't ever actually met the guy. "Well, I mean, hi. I'm Kaitlyn, Erika's friend. I was the girl talking to Calum when you were talking to Erika at the concert."

"Of course! I know who you are. I'm sorry we never really met." His voice sounded more quiet, but the fear was still evident.  

I wanted to ask him why he sounded worried, but another question passed my lips. "Where are you guys? Are you with Michael in his room?"

He was quiet for a second before he finally answered. "Well, yeah, we are with Michael."

"Oh! Well, why don't you guys ditch him and come visit me down the hall? It's so boring over here." I tried to act as calm as I could when on the inside, I was really burning to see Luke. I know I had only met him last night, and I shouldn't want to see him this badly, but there was something special about him. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a Luke girl. I'm saying that because the way he talked to me. The way he held me. The way he let me cry on him. Everything he did had me falling hard. 

"Uhmm, Kaitlyn, we actually can't."

"Why? Aren't y'all just around the corner?" I asked, trying not to let my disappointment be obvious. 

"We left. Last night." He stated casually. 

All at once, I felt my heart break. "What?" I asked, out of breath. 

"Yeah, we took off last night. Once Michael was released, we hit the road." 

"You..you left?"

"Uhh..yes?" He said wearily. 

How could they do that? How could Luke just leave without telling me? I mean, I get it, we don't even know each other. But I could have sworn there was something there last night. I thought he felt it too. I thought he knew how much he meant to me as he held me. 

Oh my gosh. I was right. I was just a fucking charity case. Hot tears sprang to my eyes, but this time, I wouldn't cry for the heartbreak happening inside my chest. I'm so done with crying. I hate feelings. If Luke hadn't been a fucking fake, this would have been the best morning ever. Waking up to a call from Ashton freaking Irwin, Luke's best friend. How amazing. I should be fangirling. But because the truth of the matter is front and center in my mind, I'm falling apart. 

"Hey, uhmm, Kaitlyn?" Ashton asked softly. 

"What?" I snapped, trying to keep my voice from shaking. 

"Is, uhmm, is Erika okay? I've been trying to call her all morning, but she hasn't answered." He sounded concerned. Not a fake concerned, but truly worried. Another lie. I'm so fucking tired of it. 

I shifted my eyes to my best friend, fast asleep on the chair beside my bed then I knew what I had to do. "She won't wake up."