Chasing the tesseract

Chapter 5

I collapse into the chair in my room, throwing my bag to the floor. My hands shake uncontrollably. My heart knocks against my chest. There's a ringing in my ears. All my thoughts swirl in my head, jumbling into one. Why did that happen? It's not supposed to. No. My palms become sweaty. My heart beats faster. I can't breathe. Why can't I breathe? I try standing up. Head rush. Nope. Not a good idea. I sit back down. Why do I feel so dizzy? My head becomes hot and sticky. Beads of sweat trail their way down my forehead. Breathe Abi. Breathe. I grab my stress ball from my bag. Calm down Abi. Everythings fine I tell myself. Pull yourself together, you've been through worse. My knuckles become white as I squeeze the stress ball harder. Oxygen. I need more oxygen. My chest tightens. My pulse races. Am I dying? I'm definitely dying. I don't want to die though.

"Abi are you okay?" Loki enters the room, coming to my side. I open my mouth to say something. Nothing comes out. I can't get enough oxygen. My eyes sting. Oh great. Now I'm crying. My body shakes even more. "Hey, it's okay." Loki places his hand on my shoulder, sitting down on the bed. "Everythings fine Abi." My chin trembles. I shake my head. Everythings not okay. I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't do anything. "Yes it is Abi. Just breathe for me okay." I nod. "Okay, breathe in for me and count to three." Okay. I can do that. I breathe in a shaky breath. One. Two. Three. "That's it and now breathe out and count to three." I breathe out. One. Two. Three. "That's it, now keep doing that for me." I nod, continuing to focus on my breathing. Loki stands up, going across to the sink to get me a glass of water. Bile begins to rise in my throat. Oh no. I can't be sick now. Too late. I run to the sink, throwing up. Oh god. What's happening to me? Loki comes across, handing me the glass. "Drink." I take it from his hand. My hand trembles as I lift it to my lips, taking a mouthful. The cold liquid soothes my burning throat. My head spins as I close my eyes. My knees are weak. My legs are shaking. I collapse to the ground. The glass smashes. Loki rushes to my side, pulling me into his arms. He lays me on my bed, taking a seat on it. "Abi? Can you hear me?" His hand touches my head. Heat flurries through my body. "Abi. You're having a panic attack." Really? I didn't know that already. My breath shakes. My chest rises and falls rapidly. Breathe, I tell myself. In. Two. Three. Out. Two. Three. "That's it Abi. Keep focusing on your breathing." In. Two. Three. Out. Two. Three. Oxygen finaly finds its way to my lungs. My breathing slows as the panic leaves my body. My hands unclench, spreading out on the soft bed.

"Thank you Loki." I breathe a sigh of relief as my body regains its normal calm status. Loki smiles at me, his shoulders relaxing. Pulling myself to a sitting position, I shuffle to his side, hugging him tightly. His arms wrap around me tightly as he rests his head on the top of mine. "What are you doing here?" I whisper against his chest.

"The wizard called me." he murmurs, not moving. "And by the looks of it, it's a good job he did." His grip on me tightens as he closes his eyes.

"It happened again Loki." He pulls away from me, his expression changing. He looks into my eyes that are now full of tears. My chin trembles as he closes his eyes, shaking his head. "I saw his future and it was horrible." My voice breaks and tears stick to my face. Loki pulls me back into a hug, stroking my hair comfortingly.

"What did you see Abi?" he whispers.

"I can't tell you. It's against the laws of nature for you to know. Or anyone else for that matter." I pull away from his hug, looking him in the eye. "I shouldn't even have seen all of that." I look down at my hands, studying the lines on them. "Normally I understand what I see but this time..." I trail off as my thoughts run wildly in my head.

"But this time it's different." I look up at him, nodding my head. "I thought we'd dealt with this the last time it happened." He stands up from the bed, pacing back and forth in front of me. I watch him, studying each movement he makes. He places his hand over his face, rubbing his temples. He's stressed. And confused. Then he drops his arm, shaking his head as he steps over to the mirror. He feels guilty. Looking into the mirror, he glances at me through it, noticing I'm watching him. He swiftly turns around, raising his eyebrow. "Are you analyzing my movements again?"

"You leave me no choice when you shut everyone out and try to hide your emotions." I stand, walking across to him but stop halfway there. A strange feeling washes over me, similar to the one before I saw Stephen's future. Oh god. Not again. The breath is ncked from me as images flash before me.

Loki sits up in an unusual place, surrounded by sand, a puzzled expression on his face. The image flashes before it fades, replaced by Loki sat in chains. A smirk is plastered on his face as he looks down at the ground. It shifts again, revealing Loki in a green and blue suit. He's wearing his usual gold helmet and a badge that says Vote Loki on it. It flashes and Loki changes into a blue and yellow suit with a cape. He stands in a strange room, pointing at someone then himself then doing a thumbs up. The image fades away as it grows darker. Loki stands on a ship, holding the tesseract in his hands. A tear falls down his cheek as the image disappears. Now Loki stands, his head bowed down, his face bruised and bleeding as he draws a knife. For the final time, the image shifts to reveal Loki being strangled. His normal pale face is now a purple shade and his eyes are red and bloodshot. Slowly, the life drains from him as he stops fighting and the image fades as my breath re-enters my body.

Bile rises in my throat as I put my hand to my mouth. "I think I'm going to be sick." I mutter as I turn away from Loki and head for the sink. When I reach it, I turn on the cold tap and let it run. I place my hands under it, cupping the water in them before splashing it on my face. My whole body begins to shake and my knuckles turn white as I tighten my grip on the edge of the sink. I look up in the mirror to see Loki walking towards me. Bile begins to rise in my throat again and I look away. His hand touches my shoulder and I flinch.

"Abi?" He steps away, a little hurt. "You saw something again didn't you." I nod, still not looking at him. "And I'm guessing that seen as you won't look at me that it's my future." I nod my head again before turning back to the sink and filling up a glass with some water.

"This shouldn't have happened." My voice trembles as I close my eyes. The image of Loki dying flashes in my mind again causing my eyes to fly back open. "I shouldn't be able to see your future or Stephen's. I'm only supposed to see future dangers." I finally look up at Loki. "Why is this happening?"

"I'm sorry Abi. I wish I could tell you why but I have no clue." He takes my hands in his, pulling me to face him. "You know there's only one way you're going to find out." I look down, pulling my hands from Loki's. I know exactly what he's suggesting. And I don't like it one bit. "She helped you last time. She can help you now." I walk away from him, looking out my window. I watch the raindrops trace down the windows, leaving a trail behind them. "It's the only way Abi. You have to try."

"Okay. I'll try it but if it doesn't work then I'm coming home to Asgard." Loki smiles at me before coming across and planting a kiss on my forehead. He turns to leave, heading for the door. "Do you really think she can help me though?" Loki looks at me as he stops in the door.

"I think that right now, she's your only shot."