Chasing the tesseract

Chapter 27

Sunlight creeps below the horizon as I sit, Rue's jacket laid on my knee whilst my eyes remain fixed on the fading light. Behind me, Stephen lights a fire, the orange and yellow flames dancing in the gentle breeze that flows through the trees. The cloak of levitation hands loosely around my shoulders as another tear drops onto its soft fabric, instantly soaking in.

"It's your fault." whispers a voice as a shooting pain splits my skull. Flinching, I hit the back of my head, attempting to knock it out even though I know it won't work. As the pain shoots further down my spine, the voice grows louder, its deep sound echoing in my ears. "If you hadn't left then she'd still be alive."

"Shut up." I hiss, hitting the back of my head again as the pain finally subsides. Behind me, Stephen stands up straighter, dropping the firewood onto the pile before slowly walking across to where I'm sat.

"He thinks it's your fault too." hisses the voice again as I jam the base of my hand into the nape of my neck over and over again. Rushing to my side, Stephen catches my wrist, stopping me from hitting myself as he sits on the floor and pulls me against my chest. Rocking me back and forth, he hushes my sobs as his hand strokes my hair gently.

"It's okay." he reassures me, pressing a gentle kiss on the top of my forehead before he goes back to stroking my hair. My sobs begin to grow quieter as my breathing returns to normal, the voice that was in my head leaving once again.

"It's my fault." I mumble against his chest as I rest my hand against it, listening to the soft sound of his heartbeat and mine beating together. Stephen stops stroking my head, his hand dropping to the ground and causing me to sit up.

"What's your fault?" he asks, his eyes locking with mine as his brows draw together, a frown line forming at the top of his nose. Turning back to face the sun, I pull Rue's jacket back onto my knee, hugging it tightly to my chest as I take a deep breath in. Smells of pine trees and flowers, just like her.

"It's my fault Rue's dead." I explain, closing my eyes as I imagine Rue being here, her fragile body sat on my knee as my arms wrap around her, both of us watching the last light of the day fade away. As I open my eyes again, I hear Stephen sigh loudly, his hand reaching out and taking mine in his.

"No, it's not." he argues, his fingers lacing with mine as I turn to face him, once again on the verge of tears. Shaking his head, he places his hand on my cheek as he strokes it gently with his thumb. Closing my eyes, I swallow hard before taking a deep breath and pushing down my anger at myself.

"If I hadn't left then she'd have been okay." I insist, gently removing Stephen's hand from my cheek as I take it in my hand, tracing the lines on his palm with my index finger to keep my mind busy. Closing his hand around my fingers, Stephen squeezes my hand reassuringly as he lifts my face to his level.

"Don't blame yourself for something you can't change." he demands, his voice firm yet gentle as I tighten my grip on his hand. Looking him directly in the eyes, I smile at him as I ponder upon his words.

"You're right." I conclude resulting in a sigh of relief from Stephen as his shoulders relax. "I should be blaming the careers, they're the ones who did it." I explain further, looking out across the forest to where smoke rises into the air, probably from the careers campfire.

"That's not what I meant." protests Stephen as I grab my belt of knives from my left and begin pulling myself up off the floor. Stephen grabs onto my hand, turning me to face him as he raises his eyebrows at me. Tapping the cloak that hangs on my shoulders gently, I smirk down at Stephen as it flies away from me.

"Thank you, Stephen." I whisper as I place a kiss on his cheek before removing my hand from his and turning on my heel. Wrapping my belt around my waist, I pull it tight before shrugging on my own jacket as Stephen watches me through narrowed eyes.