Chasing the tesseract

Chapter 35

A cold breeze flows through my hair as I collapse against the side of a small bandstand in the middle of the park. Rain water drips from my now soaked clothing as I place my head in my hands, the tears that threatened to leak over before dripping down my damp cheeks.

"Mind if I joint you?" asks Stephen as he steps into the bandstand, his hair drenched as he smiles down at me. Wiping at me face, I smile up at him as I tap the floor next to me, gesturing for him to take a seat.

"Go ahead." I whisper as he lowers himself onto the ground, his damp clothes clinging to his body and highlighting his muscular figure. Once he's sat in place, I rest my head against his shoulder as he rests his cheek agains the top of my head.

"Are you okay?" Stephen whispers ask shuffle closer to him, the only source of heat coming from our bodies. Wrapping my arms around him, I swallow all the emotions that threaten to overtake me, pushing them deep down inside and locking them away.

"Yeah I'm fine." I lie, my voice shaking slightly as Stephen sits up straighter, looking down at me face to check I'm not crying. Blinking rapidly, I try my hardest to fight the stinging that burns my eyes.

"Abi?" Stephen repeats, his eyes still fixed on my face as I bite my lip, the stinging of my eyes growing less bearable with each passing moment.

"As I said, I'm fine." I lie again, my voice quiet as it shakes giving away my lie. Placing his finger under my chin, he lifts my face to his level, his eyes scanning mine as they fill to the brim with tears.

"No you're not." he argues as he takes his other hand, wiping away a single tear that managed to escape the dam I'd built with his thumb. Smiling weakly, I look up at him through my lashes which are now stuck together from a mixture of the rain and my tears.

"What makes you say that?" I ask as I lay my head against his chest, one arm wrapping around his body as the other plays with the button on his shirt.

"Well for starters, you're fiddling with things." he points out as I let go of his button, pulling my arm from around him as I place both my hands together. I didn't think he'd notice that. As my palms become sweaty, I run them together before pulling at the skin on the back of my hands. Before I met Stephen this was my only drug for overcoming anxiety. Pain. "And you're doing the thing with your hands." he continues, taking his own hand and pulling mine apart as he laces his fingers with one hand as the other wraps around his body again.

"What thing?" I ask, pretending to be dumbstruck when in fact, I know exactly what he's talking about.

"When you're anxious you run your palms together and pull at the skin on the back of your hand." Stephen concludes as he places a kiss on the top of my head, my wet hair sticking to his cheek as he rests his head on top of mine once again.

"Am I that obvious?" I chuckle as I look down at mine and Stephens interlaced hands, my thumb gently stroking his hand as he does the same with mine.

"Nobody else notices." he admits, hugging me even tighter to his body when I shiver from the cold. Smiling to myself, I close my eyes and inhale his scent. Books and apples. "What's wrong Abi?" he whispers against my head as I take a deep breath, sitting up to look him in the eyes.

"I've made some pretty horrible mistakes in my past Stephen." I admit, my eyes dropping to the ground in embarrassment as I swallow hard. "Mistakes that I'm not proud of and Harry, well he's reminding me of that." I whisper as my voice trembles, my chin shaking as my lungs begin to give up on me, my breath shortening as I gasp for air.

"What do you mean Abi?" Stephen asks, his voice gentle as he places a reassuring hand on my shoulder, looking deeply in my eyes. Staring back into his, I feel the panic that ran through my veins moments before dissolving, my shoulders relaxing as I take deep breaths.