Chasing the tesseract

Chapter 41

The next two days pass in a blur, my mind not present in anything I do, always wandering back to Stephen. I found myself spending most of my time in the Hogwarts library, constantly reading books on memory manipulation and removal as I try to search for some cure. But of course, I'm unsuccessful.

Light creeps over the horizon as the sun begins to rise, signaling another day closer to Stephen's memories fading. A gentle yet cold breeze whips my hair against the hood it hides under as I lean against the edge of the bridge from Hogwarts to the forest, the cold concrete digging into my soft palms. Scuffling of shoes comes from behind me as Remus steps to my side, his teaching robes hanging loosely from his body.

"Thanks for convincing Dumbledore to let me stay here." Turning to face him, I smile weakly as he leans his own arms against the cool concrete beside me and smiles back at me.

"It was the least I could do after refusing to help you and your friends." he assures me before we both turn back to the view in front of us. A large lake glistens against the rising sun as the owls fly over it, each one holding a message for their owner back at Hogwarts.

"You were completely within your rights." I assure Remus without taking my eyes off the lake in front of me. Out the corner of my eye though, I notice a small smirk briefly creep onto his face that quickly disappears again as he clears his throat.

"Doesn't mean I had to be a jerk about it." Remus admits as he looks away from the rising sun and directly at me. Rolling my eyes, I turn to face him and raise my eyebrows at him.

"I won't disagree with you on that." I chuckle as he chuckles along with me, a smile on both of our faces. I think this is the first time I've smiled since I left the Malfoy manor. It feels...nice.

"So what made you come back here?" he asks as we stop laughing causing my smile to quickly drop and be replaced by a solemn expression. "Alone may I add." Sighing, I turn back to the water and watch it, focusing on it as it calms me.

"I had a run in with Voldemort." I admit without taking my eyes off the rippling water as my breathing unconsciously grows quicker. Without knowing it, I find tears creeping into the corner of my eyes as I swallow hard. "He's wiped Stephens memories of me." I explain as my voice breaks and my chin trembles whilst my whole body begins to shake.

"Well surely he has a few days." Remus assures me in an attempt to lighten my mood and fill me with the hope I've been searching for. It's not going to work though. I've tried for two days, I've even used astral projection to read whilst my body sleeps but nothing. No light. No glass half full. No hope.

"Three to be exact." I add as I now my head down, closing my eyes against the light in a hope that the world will fade away and I'll go back to how it was just a week ago. That Stephen will be fine and that we'd be together still. But the problem is, no matter how hard I try to change, I was still a villain before all this. And villains? They don't get happy endings.

"So why are you here and not with him?" questions Remus as I open my eyes again, leaving behind the daydream as I'm thrown back into the real world. What does he want me to do? Watch as Stephen fades from reach? As he forgets everything I've fought so hard to build? He's even more stupid than I thought.

"I can't watch the person I love most forget about me. It's too painful." I admit out loud for the first time. Slightly taken aback by my sudden honesty, I pause for a second as I take a deep breath and close my eyes, a small smile on my face. Quietly, I chuckle to myself as I remember what I told Stephen when I met him. I told him this would happen and yet he still stuck around. "He's the only person who didn't give up on me. I don't really want to loose that."

"Did you ever think about how painful it is for him?" Remus points out as I stop for a second, for the first time really listening to what Remus has said. "I saw the way he looked at you Abi and..." Remus pauses as he sighs, his face softening slightly. "he does love you. These memories are going to be painful when they fade."

"I can't make it any easier for him." I whisper as I look down at my hands that are covered in small scars from the spells I've tried over the past two days. Every one of them failing and leaving a scar to remind me of it. "There's no way of stopping it or slowing it down."

"Look Abi, I know we don't exactly get along but can I offer you some advice?" Remus asks as he looks me dead in the eyes, his eyebrows slightly raised as I shrug my shoulders and lean back against the railing of the bridge. It doesn't matter what he says now, there's no hope. Not for me anyway. "If you both love each other then you'll find your way back to each other. Memories or no memories."

"Seriously?" I ask as I raise my eyebrows at him and chuckle at his pathetic attempt of giving me advice. "That's not advice. It's you believing in fairytale endings."

"If two souls are me are meant to be then they will be." he grunts at me, his tone displaying how much my words have hurt him.

"You really believe that?" I ask, my voice sounding a slight more judge mental than I meant for it to. I stopped believing in fairytale endings and soulmates a long time ago. The hope of that disappeared with my hope of redemption. With my father.

"Take it from someone who gave up on love too easily. There's more pain waking away from a tough spot than facing your problems." he promises me as he smiles weakly at me before stepping away from the edge and back towards Hogwarts.

"Whether I go back or not, I still have to find a way to let him go." I whisper in a faint voice as the tears that have been hanging onto the edge of my eyelashes finally fall onto my warm face, the cool saltwater soothing the heat of my face.

Remus stops dead in his tracks halfway down the bridge as he turns to face me, a small smirk plastered on his face. "Isn't it better to let go together than apart?"