Fix Me (Alternative ending)

Chapter 98

Trigger warning: Mentions of eating disorders (somewhat graphic?), vv brief mention of substance abuse + self harm.

Remington wakes in the same place that he passed out. He rubs his eyes, groans, presses a hand to the side of his head. The world is fuzzy, unstable, and Remington finds his phone, calls Andy because he doesn't want to listen to anyone else.

"Hey sweetheart," Andy greets, "this is a surprise."

"Are you-can I talk t'you?"

"Of course you can, kitty cat."

"Can't do it," Remington says shamefully.

"Can't do what?" Andy asks.

The boy brings his knees up into his chest. "Just...be alive. Can't do it no more."

Andy sits up straight. "Where are you, sweetie?"

"Outside our house. Can't find my key."

"Have you checked in your inside pocket? You keep losing it there."

Remington unzips the small pocket on the inside of his jacket, finding the key there. "Oh, thanks," he mumbles, "sorry."

"Got it?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, good. Make yourself some tea."

The boy opens the door, steps in. "Okay." He closes it behind him. "Sorry."

"Shush you, don't start. How's your day been, huh? You having a bad one?"

"Mm." Remington hangs his coat up and goes into the kitchen. "Are you alright?"

"I'm actually quite okay," he says, and he means it. "Still taking it, but I'm getting there."

"Promise?"

"I promise, angel. What've you done today?"

Remington puts his phone on speaker and fills the kettle. "Shouted at Sebastian then collapsed," he tells his husband, grateful that they can go through a rough patch and still talk like none of it happened.

"Collapsed?" Andy repeats, "oh baby."

"Sorry," the boy says, for the third time in less than three minutes. He gets a mug from the cupboard.

"I'm banning that word from your vocabulary. You don't need to apologise for any of this, honey, I'm just worried. D'you wanna have something with me now?"

"No," Remington pouts, "why couldn't you just come home with me? I don't like sleeping alone. It's scary."

Andy sighs. "Martin's really adamant on getting to the end of tour. He might fuckin' kill me if I don't stay." He laughs but Remington knows it's not a real one.

"Well then fuck Martin, all he does is insult everyone. You can tell him I'm never gonna eat a burger."

"I don't wanna fuck Martin. You think I wanna see his crusty arsehole."

Remington giggles. "I didn't mean it that way, weirdo."

"I know. I just wanted to make you smile. Did it work?"

"Maybe."

"Are you making tea?"

"Yeah."

Andy hums.

"Why?"

"I want you to do something for me," he begins, "put plenty of milk and sugar in it, alright?"