Fix Me (Alternative ending)

Chapter 61

Throwing plot twists at you hahahahaha

Trigger warning: Mentions of eating disorders, depression, suicide.

Phoebe looks at herself in the mirror. She sighs. She only commented on Remington's weight in the first place because she wishes she could he as thin as he is. Since she met him, she's been stalking his Instagram, looking back at photos from various relapses and hospital stays and wondering why he'd ever want to 'recover' when he's so beautifully small.

Her mum would realise she was thinking this way if she was home more, if she wasn't such a rude person, but she doesn't want her mum, or anyone, to know. It's easier to hide it and push people away than to admit it to anyone.

She knows Remington talks to Abigail about his own eating problems, knows she could easily talk to her about it, too, but it's not that simple. If she told someone then she'd never be able to be as light as she needs to be. She knows it's wrong to mention someone's weight. She just saw an opportunity to hide behind her own insecurities by insulting something that she's desperate for.

Downstairs, Phoebe hears Abigail welcome Remington in, ask him how his morning has been, if he slept okay. She doesn't hear Remington's response because he talks softly and quietly, just like he did when they first met. "Would you like another one?" Abigail is asking, "take as many as you like, I got them for you." The girl stops listening after that, pulling her attention away and looking back at her phone.

"Are you sure?" Remington asks Abigail, looking in the box of bracelets.

The woman smiles. "Of course. If they help, I'm happy for you to have them."

"Thanks," the boy says, choosing a pastel pink one and pushing the box back towards her. "I nearly called Andy last night."

"Yeah?"

"Thought that maybe he needs someone to talk to, y'know? 'cause I have someone and what if he doesn't right now and he needs someone?"

"You didn't call him, though?"

He shakes his head. "Got scared. What if he hates me?"

"You won't know unless you talk to him, Remington."

"Should I have called him?"

Abigail puts the box back in the drawer. "If you're thinking about it, then I think so. You've had space from him for a few weeks and you're never gonna be able to sort out this situation if you don't talk to him at some point." She pours him some water. "And like you said, he might really be needing someone."

Remington looks down. "Maybe I should go home and see him, check he's okay?"

"D'you think you'd be comfortable doing that?

He nods.

"I think you should do that. It'd make you both feel better."

He nods again.

"Can you tell me how your urges have been?"

"I've been colouring lots to distract myself from them."

"That's good. I'm glad colouring helps."

Remington hums. "I've been feeling a bit better the past few days. Eating all my food and stuff."

Abigail smiles. "That's great, Remington. You're doing very well handling it all."

The boy's phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out to see who's messaged him. "Oh," he whispers, "it's from Andy. He's sent me a video."

"D'you wanna watch it? I can step out."

Remington just nods. He waits for Abigail to close the door before pressing play, realising it's a song he's recorded on his phone while sat at the piano. The first thing he notices it that Andy's hair is blonde now. The next thing to catch his attention are the raw cuts patterning his arm. And then the man begins singing, in a voice that Remington doesn't think he's ever heard from him before, and he can't stop his eyes from tearing up.

We were so sweet
I know I made it sour
My heart struggles to beat
Now you're not here
Remember that day
Just three weeks prior
We were happy
Oh but I made it sour

And I'm not so good at being on my own
No, I don't know how to make you come back home

Paris wasn't good to us
Fuck, it really fucked things up
The things we said can't be undone
And all I know is I can't do this
I need you to help me through it
Things are bad and breathing seems too hard

Yeah it hurts my heart

I haven't slept for days
I'm in some sort of migraine haze
Haven't seen your face
Been too tired to say your name
Lay in bed last night
Made myself mad with my own mind
Don't know how to make it right
I'd say I'm number forty five

Paris wasn't kind to us
But it was me who really fucked things up
What I said can't be undone
I'm sorry sweetheart, for what I've done
And all I know is I can't do this
I need you to help me through it
Things are bad and breathing seems so hard

Oh it hurts my heart!

And all I know is I can't do it
I need you but I don't deserve it
Things are bad and there is no way out
I'm breaking now

I'm falling down
I'm screaming out
Oh please
Don't leave me now

I'm on my own
I'm losing all control
I'm crying now
No, don't think I can go on

Oh I'm crashing now
I'm here and there's no one around
I'm in pieces on the ground
I'm crashing too fast now

It won't slow down!

Andy then sobs as he reaches for his phone, ending the video and leaving Remington sat in dread.