Fix Me (Alternative ending)

Chapter 31

Trigger warning - Mentions of suicide

Andy Biersack: Farewell, Black Veil Brides. Thanks for making me go crazy. Farewell world, perhaps. Thanks for showing me how shit life is.

User 1: Are u ok????? Please be safe, we love you!!

Remington Biersack: You better pick up the damn phone, baby. Don't you dare do anything to harm yourself!!!!

Sebastian Danzig: Give me a call, okay? We're all here for you.

This tweet has been deleted

It's dark, but that's a given, considering its past two am. Andy drags his things down the street, dropping them when his phone keeps ringing and answering it. "Chill," he answers, too tired to really care.

"You wanna tell me about that tweet you deleted?" Sebastian asks.

"Just fuckin' chill, it's fine."

"It doesn't sound fine, Andy. You know Remington saw it. He'll be freaking out."

Andy picks up his things and keeps walking. "Your point?"

"Are you okay?"

The man laughs. "I'm fantastic, as you can see."

"Andy, seriously. Please talk to me. I don't want you hurting yourself."

"Too late for that, mate. You know they sell guns in highstreet shops here?"

Sebastian, who is tying his laces for an eight am run, sits down. "I think you should wake someone in the house."

"I'm not talking to them, are you kidding?" 

"You don't sound stable, Andy. Please don't be on your own."

Andy yawns. "I'm not in the house anyway," he mumbles, and then, "look, it's really not a big deal, I swear."

"I disagree. Come on, talk to me. What's going on? Why are you tweeting in the middle of the night?"

"I'm having a momentary moment, that's all."

Sebastian shakes his head even though Andy can't see. "Yeah, I don't believe that for a second."

"Well you're gonna have to."

"Just tell me what's going on, okay?"

"What's going?" Andy stops on a bridge, looks over the railing. "I abandoned my husband in hospital to chase after my band to some fucked up city half way across the world, didn't hug him when I left, and now I'm wondering around New York at two am losing my mind."

"Don't feel bed for going after your band, Andy."

"I literally abandoned Remington. How am I supposed to not feel bad for that?"

"Abandoned is the wrong word, Andy. You love Remington and you love your band and you made a decision to go after your band before they replaced you. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Loved," Andy says, "I loved my band."

"So you went all the way to America just to leave the band?"

Andy sits on the pavement, leans against the railing. "I fucking ruined everything."

"No you didn't."

"I did, Sebastian."

"Look, just go back to the house and get some sleep."

"Fuck that," Andy mumbles, leaning his head on the suitcase beside him and sighing. "Y'know, I thought this was the right thing to do. I thought it would make us both feel better."

Sebastian sighs, too. He swears he can see Andy even though he can't. "You did what you thought was right and you realise it was a mistake and that's okay. It's human, Andy."

"I'm not good at handling mistakes."

"And that's okay, too. Look, just don't do anything harmful, okay? I know you're in a bad state at the moment, but it will get better, and if you won't do it for yourself, then do it for your husband. You know he needs you. And he needs you alive."

"I don't know how to be alive anymore. I don't know..."

"You don't need to know, Andy, not all the time. You just need to keep going until you do know."

The man closes his eyes. "I just...I think I need a hug. Like a proper 'cry hysterically into someones's shoulder' hug, y'know? Is that stupid?"

"Of course it's not, Andy." He puts the phone on speaker so he can finish tying his laces. "Go back to the house and ask for a hug, okay? They're your friends. They love you. You know that."

"I can't do that. They'll think I'm so pathetic."

"No they won't. Do you think Remington's pathetic everytime he needs a hug?"

"No, of course not."

"Exactly. So why would anyone think that about you?"

Andy sighs heavily.

"Go back to the house, wake someone up, and tell them you need a hug. Andy, they love you. They're practically your family. And I know they're not Remington, and maybe you just want Remington, but it's gotta be better than not getting a hug at all, right?"

"No, you're right."

"I know I am. I'm always right. Very annoying, I've been told. You're gonna be okay, okay? Now, get up off your arse and go back to the house."

"How'd you know I'm sitting down?"

"I just know. Go get a hug."

Andy pulls himself to his feet. "I am, I am."

"Good. And listen, if you need another talk, gimme a call, okay? I always answer, I promise. Have done since Remington lived with me after you-know-what happened."

"Thank you."

"Be safe, Andy. And, for the record, I love you."

"I love you too, man. Thanks for this."

Sebastian smiles, opening the front door. "Anytime."

Andy hangs up, turns the flashlight on, and finds his way to the house. He opens the door, drops his things inside, and wrips up the note he wrote when he left, putting the pieces into the bin before going up the stairs. For a few minutes, he stands on the landing, cosidering who to wake, deciding on Lonny eventually, since the two have been good friends for a few years, before Lonny even joined Black Veil Brides.

He knocks on the closed bedroom door fairly loudly, until the bassist's half-asleep voice asks who it is. "It's me," Andy calls through the door.

"Oh, Andy. What's up? It's-like-three am."

"I know, I know. Can I come in?"

Lonny sits up. "Sure, what's up? Why're you up?" He watches the door open. "And why are you fully dressed?"

Andy looks down. "It's a really really long story."

"Are you okay? You look kinda-I don't know-sad?"

"Probably 'cause I am," the singer mumbles, "please don't make me talk about it, okay? I've been wondering around town for an hour looking for a bridge to jump off so just...okay, basically I'm asking for a hug."

Lonny pulls covers off and gets out of bed. "Oh, mate. Come here."

Andy could collapse in relief when Lonny wraps him in his arms. He can't help but to cry and Lonny, who had no idea how much this was all affecting the older, lets him.