Fix Me (Alternative ending)

Chapter 58

Trigger warning: Mentions of anorexia, depression, brief suicide mention

Remingtonleith: what do you do when you have no one and the only person you did have doesn't want you anymore? Answers much appreciated.

User 1: DID SOMETHING HAPPEN WITH YOU AND ANDY?!

User 2: Nooo are u okay???

User 3: @AndyBlack wtf have u done

User 4: Finally Andy saw sense.

The flight home seems to be the longest journey either of the men have ever endured, though really it's barely four hours totalled. They have seats next to each other on the plane and despite their recent falling out, Andy doesn't do anything to make Remington uncomfortable. He lets the boy sit in the window seat so he's not next to a stranger and doesn't try talking to him, seeing as it will just cause more fighting.

Remington notices Andy's gesture but says nothing because he has nothing to say. He sits with headphones on for the whole plane ride, not letting himself fall asleep, and actively looks away from the man once they've landed.

The car ride is no better. The radio does nothing to alleviate the tension between the men and Andy thinks, at a few points along the way, that Remington might open the door mid-drive and leap out. He makes sure child lock is on.

When they arrive home, Remington spares not one single glance at the man as he slams the car door and walks away from the building. Andy knows he's going to Sebastian and so doesn't try and stop him. He unlocks the door and goes inside.

Sebastian is halfway through dinner with Faye, it being late evening, when his brother throws the door open angrily and crashes into the house loudly. The guitarist sends his girlfriend an apologetic glance before quickly leaving the room and chasing after Remington before he manages to lock the bathroom door. "Hey," he says firmly, holding the younger's chin to stop his frantic movement. "Breathe."

"I need pills," Remington rushes out, ignoring the man's words and tearing open the bathroom cabinet.

"Remington, hey, look at me." He closes the cupboard. "Breathe, okay? You're panicking. Deep breaths."

"No, I..."

"Just breathe. It's okay. Whatever it is, we'll make it better."

Remington's eyes flick from surface to surface like he's following ghosts around the room.

Sebastian holds his face in his hands until the boy finally begins mirroring his accentuated breathing. Only once his brother is at least breathing properly does he then guide him down stairs and into a dining chair. "You're gonna eat with us, okay," he says, knowing Remington won't eat alone. "And then you're gonna tell me what's going on."

Faye keeps here eyes down and Remington talks, his voice almost static, like he's electrically charged. "Andy doesn't want me! That's what's going on!" He hits the table with his hand.

"Breathe," Sebastian says again.

"No! I don't want to! I don't want to breathe anymore!"

"Remington. Listen to me. We will sort this out. I promise."

"You're lying!"

Sebastian puts a plate down and lets a hand sit on Remington's shoulder. "I'm not lying. We will sort it. Have some dinner for me, okay? Have you eaten today?"

Remington shrugs.

"Did you have something on the plane?"

He nods.

Sebastian isn't convinced but drops it. He sits back down as the boy picks up the fork and stabs at the meal.

"Would you rather I went?" Faye asks, talking for the first time since Remington burst in.

Sebastian looks at the younger, who shakes his head and reluctantly brings the fork to his mouth. "No, it's okay. Company is good for him." He goes back to his food, looking at Remington when he talks again, now more composed.

"He got tired of me," he says, "'cause that's what always happened. First-first Holly, now Andy."

"No bub, he didn't get tired of you. He's nothing like Holly and you know that."

"No, he's worse."

Sebastian frowns.

"He doesn't tell me when I do something wrong until we're having a fight. Then it all comes out. At least with Holly I knew on the spot." He pokes at the food. "He should'a stayed in America."

"You know," Faye begins, "marriage is more than just enjoying the easy times. Marriage is about forgiveness and understanding that just because you've had a fight doesn't mean he hates you. There's probably something going on underneath and maybe he's finding it impossible to tell anyone." She looks at Remington. "I mean...I don't know you or Andy very well but from what I do know, I don't think all this is happening because of one argument. I think there's something going on with Andy that he's not saying."

Remington doesn't respond.

Andy begins unpacking the suitcase they took with them, getting a few items in before giving up and sitting heavily on the bed. He calls Remington but is taken to voicemail, saying, "I know you don't wanna talk to me and I get it, but you might never be able to talk to me again if you don't come home," and dropping the phone aimlessly onto the bed. He lies back and closes his eyes until he's asleep, when, for a few blissful hours, he feels nothing.

It all returns when he wakes sometime around three in the morning with an awful headache, pressing a hand to the side of his head and groaning. He tries to go back to sleep, thinking the pain will subside, but it doesn't and Andy ends up sobbing into the pillow loudly. It only makes his head hurt more.