Back To Me

Chapter 16

Karim's POV:

Looking at Lucia led passed out beside me in bed after our moment of passion, I sighed only in that moment heavily to myself. I regretted having sex with her, I regretted what did when I know I am still trying to prove to Thozi that I am a changed man. Yes, I do know that I do of course have to play nice to Lucia so she does not suspect a thing, but sleeping with her does make me feel like, in a sense, I have cheated on her. Some of you might be sat there as now thinking I am a complete idiot for thinking such a thing, but I just cannot help myself. All that I have tried to do since edging things to get back on track again with Thozi is to prove to her how I am not the same compared to what I used to be, cheating on her, yet I just do this all.

For all I know I might just be thinking too much into everything, creating such a big sort of a scenario in my head which might not mean anything to anyone and may not be as severe as I am making it out to be right now. But this is just the way I am feeling right now, I am trying to prove to Thozi that I am loyal to her and always will be. Yet, with Lucia in picture, it is now suddenly to become a difficult battle for me. All in all, I simply just cannot win. If I refuse to have sex with Lucia, then it will without a doubt gain suspicion upon her and cause her then to start pointing the finger at me. But if I do sleep with her and Thozi finds out, it could in of a sense potentially put what she and I have on the line, due to all of this whole trusting part.

So with a sigh to escape out from my lips I sat up in bed, running a hand over my face before I took a small glance over at the naked body of Lucia beside me. In all fairness, I do feel ever so bad for doing this to her, for cheating on her. But I cannot help myself, my feelings all for Thozi are much stronger than the ones I have for Lucia. I have been head-over-heels in love with Thozi for such a long time, Lucia was only a distraction. She was what I thought it was I needed when I was alone here in Madrid once transferring, someone which could comfort me and love me. But in all honesty, the one person I needed the most was of course Thozi.

Removing my hand from my face then I shook my head to myself, a sigh coming from me. In this moment now I know what I have to do, I know where I have to go. I need to Thozi, like I have been ever so desperate to for the majority of the night. She is the one I love, and all as horrible as it is, Lucia is not that person. She was who I thought I loved, and not actually who I do love. So in that moment I stood up from the bed and made my way over the draws over in the corner of the room, slipping my boxers on as I made my way. And, pulling out any old clothes which I could find inside, I slipped them on and accompanied them with a pair of my trainers. For all I know this could be a mistake, I could accidentally tell Thozi what happened.

But in my opinion, at least then she will know.

And so as I crept around the bedroom as quiet as I could once I was changed, looking for my phone and where I had left it before the moment of passion with Lucia previous. More than luckily enough for me though, and I soon found it scattered across the floor beside my jeans I had thrown to the floor. And so picking it up I proceeded to leave a message with Lucia, or, a lie at that. Explaining to her how I had gone to Isco’s as he was having a little trouble with Victoria and needed someone with him. Once the message had sent, I walked out just then.

Quietly closing the front door on my way out of the house I made my way out towards of my car and got inside of it, putting the keys into ignition and soon beginning to be on my way all ahead to Thozi’s apartment. In all honesty right now, I knew that it was late, and the time in which I read by the dashboard of my car; 12:37, I had a feeling that Thozi may now be just of fast asleep in bed. But I needed to see her. Each and every moment which passed when I am not with her tortures me, it feels as though a part of me is missing. And you can say that just now as a result of all I am saying is proving to show how cheesy I can be, but it is all to be of the honest truth. This woman, Thozi, she always has and always will mean everything to me.