Back To Me

Chapter 7

Thozi's POV:

Stood in front of the mirror situated against the wall inside my room, myself, Adrienne and Amelia – one our closest friends which we have made at work – proceeded to get ready for the night ahead. Tonight was the night, the night of the party being held out our apartment thanks to Adrienne’s genius idea to help me feel a whole of a lot better. And I have to admit to you now that it was already working, despite the fact that Karim had of course been given an invitation courtesy of Adrienne. At first as you know, I was annoyed with her inviting him to come, but then it got me thinking. If I want to get over Karim then I need to look as far as I can passed him being in the same room as me, that is the only way it will work out for me.

And so that is exactly what I am going to do, I am going to try as hard as I can to get over to see Karim as well as get over the thoughts of him in my mind. Of course there are bound at some point to be thoughts of him arising within me but I just want them to stay like that to not think any deeper into them, I want Karim to be nothing more than a distance memory of my past and that is that. Feelings are always going to be buried under the surface due to the years we spent together but that is as far as I want it to go, I do not want to be led in bed at night anymore crying my eyes out because of him. I deserve far more than this, I know I do.

I just want to move on with my life and be the happy woman I used to be, getting by all my days as easily as possible without a single tear falling down my cheeks due to the thoughts I carry due to my past. Thinking about the happy and confident mood I am in now I am now in a way starting to think in why I even bothered with the tears over him recently, all of which I was a part of with him was a long while ago now. He has clearly moved on just as it is a hell of a lot obvious in seeing him with Lucia and I deserve that same happiness, I deserve in just a slightest way to feel happy for once in my life. To have a man beside me that will take care of me, a man which will not cheat on me, a man which is completely different to Karim now.

Of all in which Adrienne has said to me about moving on and finding someone different is all to now be shown clear to me, she wants what is best for me and that is exactly what I would like now. Perhaps with Karim bringing someone along tonight to the party would be best for me like Adrienne is saying, I could mingle and get to know someone else instead of having to see the same face in my mind like I always do recently. A change is good for me as of now in this moment, and a change is what I want. No tears will be falling down my cheeks due to all of this anymore, I will not let it. I will be civil with Karim tonight if he decided to speak to me at any point, just to be friendly, but I will not dwell on it or overthink like I usually would do.

This is exactly why I am looking forward to tonight, to actually enjoy myself for once instead of being the moody and emotional wreck of woman which I have been recently. Of course in times it could be hard for me but I just need to hold my head high and get on with my life, as I am a young woman still and despite all what I may have done in the past – putting that sort of a close bond with my mother that I have on the line to be with Karim – I deserve all of the happiness in the world like anyone else would, I deserve to have at least one outbreak now of happiness instead of being miserable. And that is exactly what I am going to do tonight, I am going to act like nothing bothers me, like the sight of Karim does not even faze me now.

“Whoa there, calm down on the wine Thozi.” Laughing as she spoke those words I looked to her as she was stood beside Amelia in the middle of us, both her eyebrows raised a smirk as of in this moment to be present upon her lips. “It’s just us three now, and by the time all the guests get here you’ll be too drunk to even know what you’re doing.” Rolling my eyed at her as I downed my glass of wine in one – well nearly, take a few sips from whole – she laughed at me again, followed by Amelia as I removed the glass from my lips to place on the side as I proceeded to re-paint my lips with lipstick. “You seem really different today, it’s like the old Thozi from back in Lyon has all of a sudden come back.” Speaking proudly over towards me.