Thozi's POV:
Just staring into the space of where Karim previously was I felt ever so devastated over all of which had just happened, why did Lucia have to walk in right at that moment? She could not have picked a worse moment if I am honest with you, I wanted one kiss and one kiss only for once from him. But that clearly could not have happened even if I did end up wanting it to in that moment, we were stopped. And as I watched Karim’s lips moving closer towards that of my own I realised how much I wanted it, how much I longed for that intoxicating feeling of a sense to have his lips press against my own. It is a feeling I have wanted for so long since the moment I saw him again after all this time, something I have only ever dreamt of happening.
But I guess it is something that is going to have to stay as a dream for me now, it did not in a slight way happen besides the slight brush of his lips against that of my own and which I can do now is imagine what it would have felt like. It would have made everything ok again, only by that slight feeling I would have felt whole again. As I know for a simply face that from the moment his lips were against mine it would feel like it used to, like when we were together all that time ago. I just wanted a little snippet of what it was like, to have Karim right where I wanted him and not feeling depressed by the slight thought or sight of him before me then.
I know I should not be feeling like this for obvious reasons – because I am trying as hard as I can to get over him – but when Karim practically throws himself at me like he did, it all then becomes ever so hard for me to push him away. At the start of the night I had ever so much of my confidence back again, I promise myself I would not feel down when it comes to that man again, but here I am now and ever so upset over all which had just happened. In a way I am annoyed and frustrated in myself, for getting sucked back into that charm of Karim’s I all of this time was trying to get out of. Just from his charming of ways I was sucked back in yet again, coming back to square one after working so hard to get out of it in such a long time.
So letting a loud and heavy sigh slip from out of my lips I reached for my glass of wine which I had placed on the side next to me, bringing it up to my lips and downing the entire thing. I guess you could say I did it in a way to numb all of the pain which was in me as of right now in this moment, or you could even say I just needed something to take my mind off all of the sour thoughts of Karim and Lucia that I was having. But nevertheless I drank it, all in one as I did not bring my lips away from the glass until I had finished all of the content inside. And as soon as I placed the glass back down on the side again and had carefully wiped my mouth in a way to rid of the liquid could be around it, I stormed back into the front room once again.
Although I did not stay in the front room for longer than a couple of seconds, as due to all of the tears of devastation which were falling down my cheeks I rushed off into the direction of my room and shut the door behind me. I just wanted to be along right now, alone to try and figure out why I almost let happen all of that with Karim back then. In all honesty there is if I think about it just one logical reason due to it; that I still have severe and strong feelings for Karim. It is as if no matter how hard I try I just cannot get over him, it has been too long and I know I need to move on from the past. But I cannot seem to do so, every time I think that I am over him the feelings just come back soon enough whether I even want them to or not.
Burying my face underneath one of my pillows I continued to feel the tears sprinkle all their way down my cheeks over the situation, wanting to just be dreaming instead of this actually to my sense of reality. I hated myself for it, more than I ever have before. But soon enough I heard the sound of my bedroom door opening, and as I turned over to see who it was I was to find Adrienne walking in once turning on the light. A look of sincere concern upon her set of lips as she walked to me, sitting down on the bed right beside me. “Thozi what’s just all of a sudden happened? I saw you running through the front room in tears, I was going to leave you to it but I couldn’t no matter how much I thought it would be the best of a thing to do.”
YOU ARE READING
Back To Me
Fanfiction26 year old Thozi has been through more than enough over the past seven years, more than anybody is expected to go through at the young age of hers. From the tragic fall out she had with her mother at just the age of 19, to the horrific and heart-wr...