the girl who lost things

part nineteen

— emily's pov

I walk into the case room, " We have another call," Morgan says." Young, black female shot in the head." I look at him." Why did they call us?" I ask."They think it's by that same person." I grab my coat and head out with him. The drive there was quick. What if it was Tsia? I told her to get out of there. Don't think about it. We arrive at the scene, officers and techs already in place. The gunshot victim was covered. The medical examiner removes the sheet from her face. It was her.

Tsia.

I feel nauseous. I can't, not now. Not today, why?! Ian, it was him. He'll do anything to get revenge on me. I walk outside to get some air, but I feel the throw-up from the back of my neck. I hold the fence as this morning's breakfast comes back up. Morgan comes from behinds me and holds my hair. My eyes start to become watery, " You ok?"

" Yea, I need to go change. I think I got some on my boots." I say, trying to wipe any evidence of tears. "Hotch wants us back at the bau." 

" It's going to be real quick! I promise." He finally complies, and we drive to my apartment, and I rush into the house. I change my boots and then go to my safe.

flashback

Declan runs across the room, and I run to chase him. "I got you." I hold him tight and tickle his stomach. He starts laughing maniacally, " We should have some," Ian says, coming into the room. " You think?" I say, letting Declan runoff. I walk closer to him. " I don't see myself as a mom."

" Well, I do." He takes out something from his pocket. " I know you're not with the marriage thing, but." He gets down on one knee. He pulls out a necklace and puts it around my neck. "A token of my love." It was two rings.

flashback finishes

I take out the necklace from the safe and flush it down the toilet. I run back into the car, and we make our way back to Quantico. " Is everything alright?" Derek ask. My mind was already somewhere else. " Huh, yes." 

" No, Emily, it's not; you never let anybody in. You keep your distance. fight your demons alone." He looks at me. Gosh! Those concerned eyes of his. Almost, it made me want to break down. " Are you done profiling me?" I let out a small, fragile laugh. Still looking out the window. " I sent Jessie to Italy." I try to change the topic. Hopefully, He'll fall for it." Italy?"

" Yea, it was the last minute; to ease the stress of everything, you know. She's with my mom. she should be back soon." I stutter on the last words. He raises his eyebrows and continues to drive. Finally, we arrive, and the departments are all there. Hotch is speaking. " We know they are all a part of a group." he shows a clover picture. " whatever this means is what they are a part of." I go blank. Doyle orchestrated the murders. He's not going to stop until I go to him. 

I look around, my team. The moments we've had. Garcia, with her happy-go-lucky talk, Morgan and his playboy advances, Rossi and Hotch. Reid, oh Reid; with his dictionary of a mind and JJ, she's like a sister. Tears erupt from my eyes at this moment. He's going to keep hurting people closer and closer to me. I pull out my wallet to reveal; Jessie, a picture from when we made the adoption official. He's going to keep on killing till he gets to me. That even means Jessie. Flashbacks run my mind of her and the team. my family. I'm not letting him hurt them; I turn around and walk out of the building. It's between him and me. Tears stream down my eyes as I leave with the possibility of no return. I take my phone out of my pocket and call Jessie. She picks up almost immediately. " Hey, kiddo. how are you?"

" back to back calls! mom, are you alright?" I silently sniffle." Yea, I just wanted to check on you before I leave for a case." I sniff my snot up once again. " Well, grandma told me about this Italian Walmart. so I'm buying some stuff for dinner, right now." I laugh, being blinded by my glossy eyes. " What are you making?"

" Hopefully, some homemade pasta." I could hear her talk in the background. " dov'è la farina?" she says. " I see you're getting better at your Italian."

" Yea, grandma is like drilling it in my head." I smile, my baby. " I have to go, mom. Call me when you get back. I love you!"Those words took my breath away. I love her; I would do anything for her. " I love you too."