— JJ's pov
Jessie wasn't getting better; She was getting worse. I finally put her in outpatient. She still has to go to school and stuff but also recover. I put the breakfast in front of her and Henry. I could see picks at it at first but then starts to take a bite. Henry dives right in, which makes me smile. " How was your night?"
" Good." I take a seat right next to her, giving her some orange juice.
— jessie's pov
She puts the orange juice on the table. This is too much food. Too many calories, I'll purge. Mr.
LaMontagne focuses on his food. I know he doesn't want me here, the extra baggage. I know I'll be out of his way soon. I leave some eggs and toast on my plate. I put the toast in the fridge and throw away the eggs. "I'm going to go get ready," I say, walking upstairs. Immediately, I head empty myself in the bathroom. Throwing up all the orange juice and eggs and bacon. Eww, the bacon. I brush my teeth and get ready. It's been three months since her death. He started raping me again last week. Clara looked worn out. Hopeless. I missed her, I hated what he did to me, but I hated what he did to her more. I put on a cami dress with my black converses. I have to take vitals today. I walk downstairs and back into the kitchen." Jessie! Look," Henry says, holding up a potato head. " I make Mr. potato head." I smile and kneel. "You're so smart!"" You look good!" She says to me; I had lost 5 pounds putting me at 95lbs. I did look good. " Thank you." She grabs her key, and we exit the house. The drive was short. I was scared; I don't want to be put on the tube.
—
I walk to the examination room; I already knew the routine. I take off my shoes and hop on the scale; I look at the numbers; 95.8lbs. I breathe a sigh of relief. Everything's good. For me, The doctor sighs and then takes my blood pressure and my heart rate. JJ also looks disappointed in me. " Jessie, we're going to have to tube you." Ah, the tube, I was happy. I was sick. Sick enough. But that means weight gain. I contemplate for a while. I won't let myself get too fat—only just five pounds. I'll choose recovery this once. I nod; they both look surprised. she brings out the feeding tube. I've never had one before. But the pain of a tube going through my nose and down my throat doesn't scare me. Two other nurses come in and restrain me. I feel the tube go down my nose; I can't help but gag. I see JJ. She's trying to stay strong, but I can see her pity. I close my eyes and let them finish. They tape it, and I walk to the mirror. I look pretty for a sick girl.—
The car ride to the bau is silent. She takes me to work now; because I can't be trusted by myself, probably since I'm a bad influence on Henry. " How do you feel?" she keeps her eyes on the road. I'm reading my poetry book." Ok, I guess." But, I really wasn't. It didn't strike me till later but having this tube in my nose was embarrassing at the least. I need to get this shit out. I decide to distract myself with the book. It was huge, like 800 pages. I was on page 145. I close it and look out the window. The world seemed a lot better in a car; Everything goes by in a flash." You ok?" I snap out of my trance."Mhm." I hated being with JJ; I felt like a burden. Like I had to be perfect. She had her perfect little family; I ruined it. " What's going through your mind."How to succeed in killing myself. " Nothing much." I look back out the window, everything just passing by without a care in the world.
—
" We have a case," Garcia says in her frantic voice. I get pity stares from the team while they're walking to the table. I almost forgot I look like a skeleton with a tube in her nose. I walk into Garcia's office and sit on the couch with my earphones in and go into my secret place. Silence, I close my eyes. Rest, I drift into my dream.*dream*
" Jessie, no!" I hear all of their shouts and screams, but I can't stop; he needs to pay. for what he did to her, what he did to me. I take the gun and cock it to his head. Just pull the lever, Jessie. I finally do it. I hear his brain splatter. I stand in shock. My ears ring. I could hear people yelling at me to put down the gun. I looked around at the team, worried and in tears. It's finally my time. It's over. I take the gun and put it to my neck. I was adjusting the trigger.
Boom!
*dream ends*
"You ok, honey." I shake myself awake and nod. Rubbing my eyes to reveal Garcia. " Yea, just a bad dream." She hands me some pasta with a salad; it looked huge. I cringe at sight. " I'm guessing this is my lunch?" she nods and sits at her computer.
" If you need help, I'll be here to egg you on!" she takes a bite into her boiled egg—such an excellent pun. I smile and take a bite of my pasta. I can feel it going down my system—pure disgust. But, at this point anything to get this tube out. I could see Penelope looking at me through her computer screens. I'll take three more bites; I tell myself—just three.
I walk, grab a seat next to Garcia and take another bite. " What's the case for today?"
she looks at me with a smile. " I'll never understand why; your young mind is so intrigued by all of this." she hands me the case file.
I take another bite, chewing for like five minutes.
Four men found shot in the rural parts of Vermont in the last five days. Garcia rings up the team." Hello, my beautiful sugar plums! how may I assist you?"
" any overlap between the victims?" Morgan ask. I take my last bite. It was a hard one; my stomach was already full.
" nada, except that they were both very fit! Like I'm talking, Mike Tyson fit! I went to gyms at least three times a week." I look at the bodies.
Dead and lifeless.
YOU ARE READING
the girl who lost things
Fanfictionjessie is trying to adapt to her life as a daughter of the bau after her mother gets a job there. She finally wants a normal life after everything that happened when she was younger. but, her secrets can only stay hidden for so long. this is a crimi...