the girl who lost things

part fifty-four

-- jessie's pov
I walk across the street to Clara's house, she had wanted me to come over last week, but I was with James. I ring the doorbell, and she opens it. Immediately I could see she was disheveled. she looked stressed. The kids came running to hug me.

I push her inside and put the kids in the room to play with some toys. The house was even more of a mess. Dishes piling to the top, and clothes were everywhere.

" are you ok?" I sit her down on the couch while trying to pick up some of the clothes.

"I'm giving the kids up." I drop the clothes and look at her; with more inspection, it looked like she'd been crying for days. Dark circles formed around her eyes.

" w-what why?"

" I can't be superwoman! I'm doing nursing school five hours a day to come home with three hours of homework, and I have to put food on the table for three, clean them, wash them and make sure they're happy! I'm not happy; it's too much... I'm 18, raising two kids in school. I can't do this." she breaks down in tears; she's right. about being alone; I was supposed to be with her. I let her cry on my shoulder. " every time I look at them, I see him! I see the man that took my life away at 14."

she can't give those kids up. " they're innocent, Clara."

" I WAS INNOCENT." with those words; it sets me back. Jade comes and hugs her, repeating the phrase 'don't cry, mommy.' which makes her cry even more.

I nudge jade to go play with her sister. I come back closer to Clara. " you can stay with us."

" stop, I'm fine." she sniffles and wipes her tears, starting to clean her living room.

" no, your not. Pack your stuff! you AND your kids are coming with me." I get the kids and put some jackets on them. I pack some clothes in the backpacks.

— derek's pov
I hear the doorbell ring. Was Jessie back so soon? I open the door to reveal Jessie, Clara, and her kids.
" what's going on," Jessie tells Clara and the kids to have a seat. Clara looked in such a fragile state; her hair was bridle and thin, her face stained with a tear. Savannah saw from the kitchen and went to attend to Clara.

Jessie pulls me to the side, away from everybody. " can Clara and her kid stay here for a while?"

" why?" there was probably a good reason, but I needed an explanation.

" there's so much on her back: taking care of two kids, nursing school, and her mental health. look at her, Derek; it's deteriorating her!" I turn around to see her crying into savannahs shoulder. " it's temporary, only until she gets back on her feet and is stable."

" that's going to take a while. Nursing school is almost a year or two."  Jessie's face shifts to doubtful.

" she needs a family, a community. please, Derek?"

— Jessie's pov
I could see him contemplating. " what about money?"

" she gets welfare checks, and she works at a local diner," I answer quickly like I knew he was going to ask.
he lets out a little chuckle. " is that a yes?" he nods
" thank you, thank you." I give him a huge hug and kiss his forehead.

" But- you have to ask Savannah." I turn and look at
him

" she already said yes." he looks shocked and turns toward savannah, who was giving him a shy wave. " I told her on the way here." we all come together in the middle.

" I'm gonna call some of the bau to help with the moving." Derek walks away, and it was left with me and savannah.

"I could take the kids shopping for new beds." I nod and mouth the words thank you. Clara comes over.

" what happening?" she asked.

"you're moving in with us!" Savannah says with a smile on her face. She lets small happy scoff and comes over to me.

" you need more than just me, and now you have a family! we have three extra bedrooms, excluding the basement, so you have more than enough space here!" I could see her holding tears in. She comes in with a bear hug.

"I love you." she sniffles on my shoulder; I could feel her tears accumulate on my shirt. But it was okay; I just wanted her to feel happy.

—
Derek and Savannah went bed shopping with the kids. While it was just me, Clara, Kate, Penelope and Spencer. Rossi was handling everything on the financial front. Jj and hotch couldn't make it.

We pack clothes into some laundry bags while spencer works at her desk. " these books are outdated. you're not going to pass with these study materials." Spencer says, holding some textbooks. Clara's face was turning red.

" he didn't mean it like that," Penelope says, trying to reassure her.

" yea, actually, I was wondering if you would like to go shopping for some new ones and some better study materials?" Clara turns to me with a smile.

" yea, sure!"

" Also, we need to buy you some new clothes," Penelope says.

" theirs something wrong with my clothes?"

" oh, yes, honey...but I'll fix that up for you," she says, shoving her out the apartment door. Clara waves bye, and Spencer closes the door behind them.

I finish packing up the clothes, and Kate and I throw the stuff in her trunk.

— Derek's pov
savannah was pushing eshiram in the stroller while I was pushing the cart with Jade.

" I can't believe we're actually doing this," I say, turning into the bed aisle.

" it would be good practice!" Savannah says, turning to me with a huge smile. holding up some newborn onesies.

" are you serious? you want kids?" she nods and gives me a small kiss.

" with you, Derek morgan, I want a house full of kids."
I let out a cheek-to-cheek smile.

— jessie's pov
it's been a month and seven days since Emily and I last spoke. She said it'll only be a month. I just hope she's ok, and I hope she remembers she has a daughter.

I decide to text Clara.

How is everything?

It's great, but Reid is lecturing the bookstore clerk about some outdated books he found, and Penelope is buying way too many clothes.

Welcome to the family.

I put my phone back into my pocket and enter the car with Kate. She sets up her GPS and makes her way towards Derek's house.

" how do you know Clara?"

" what do you mean?"

" well, she's an 18-year-old with two kids. It's just how did you guys become friends?"

I take a deep breath; I don't have to explain if I don't want to. But, I know she won't be satisfied until I tell her. " umm- her and I go back; she kept me sane in hard times." I clear my throat, indicating I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

I think she gets the hint and stays quiet. I'm not opening up anymore. Just for people to abandon me.