the girl who lost things

wednesday II

— Jessie's pov
three weeks ago, I weighed in at 105lbs; Morgan just left for work- making sure I ate my breakfast which I just purged later on. I walk and pull the scale from under the bed.

I take off all my layers and step on it. 89lbs. I smile wiped across my face; I did it! I look at the clock, 2:45. I had to be in the alleyway in 15 minutes. I grab an apple and walk out the door.

— morgan's pov

all paperwork, this would take hours. I go into the cafeteria to grab some coffee.

" coffee this early," Jj says. I nod and usher her a cup, but she denies it.

" We have a lead," she lowers her voice. I turn to her and stop pouring the coffee. " Garcia's office." she walks there, and I follow her.

" Ian Doyle was spotted on I-270; easy pass caught it," Garcia says, showing a series of photos of him.
We both look at each other and smile.

" We have a lead!" Spencer silently yells!

" I'm tracing everything connected with him and that car, it's gonna take a while, but we should have his location!" we hug and give out an exasperated laugh and hug each other.

— jessie's pov

he quietly drives me to the building and takes me into the room. I run to Clara, giving her a huge hug.
" hey! How are you!" she says, looking at me.

" Good, good." I was wearing a giant black sweater and sweatpants. She takes the sweater off of me.

"you're getting too thin!" She says, concerned.

" I'm fine, are you? how's jade?" we sit and look at each other; it seems like she was holding something back. " what are you not telling me?"

" I'm pregnant; I would guess five months." I don't see it until now; she had a bump. It looked small, but it was a definite bump. I didn't know how to reply, was I suppose to be happy for her or mad at him.

" um, congratulations!" I say, trying to shed some light on the situation. But, she still looked like she was hiding something.

" yea. he gave me a choice." She looks at me with weary eyes. What choice, she doesn't have to kill me? Right?

" what's the choice?"

" to leave, go to the storage unit and live with jade, so she doesn't have to be alone. but, that means-." I look at her.

" That means I'm going to be a full-time sex slave." I say, looking at her; she nods. " fine." she was shocked at my words.

" really? Your serious." she leans in for a hug, and I give it to her; I know what it's like to lose a mother. I don't want jade to grow up alone.

" yea, is he gonna like kidnap me? or something." She shakes her head; I come closer.

" it's going to be regular, but just without me." I take a deep breath. She got me through it- I can't just go through this alone. she could tell I was panicking. she taps my shoulder and brings my hand towards her tiny bump. " it's kicking."  I smile with tears in my eyes. " I think it's another girl."

" how do you know?" I could feel her kicking. I smile; that was me in someone's stomach.

" I just know, what's your middle name?"

" Eshiram."

" where's that from?"

I never thought about my roots; I just knew a white lady adopted me. I had kinky black hair with nutmeg skin. I looked different, not any race I've ever seen. I shrug my shoulders.

The man unlocked the door and pulled me out.

It was quick; he just left me there.
" get up!" I quickly put my clothes back on. My eyeliner drips, but I quickly wipe it off.

 You should be used to this by now. Control yourself.

He unlocks the door to reveal Clara dressed, ready to go. Takes us in the car. We drive for hours blindfolded until I hear his car stop. We were at like a doc with storage containers. We get out, and he opens the box. It was like a small living space.

Two beds and a crib with a heater, a microwave, a table and some books. It looked bare, but I saw something in the bed moving.  Clara runs to the child and her a hug. 

" mommy's here." she cries into her. The baby, which I'm guessing is had embraces her and then the man pulls out three grocery bags worth of food and put it on the table.

" This is good enough for a week." he goes to close the door, but Clara runs over and hugs me. I long steady one. A big thank you, hug. 

" thank you." she kisses my forehead and walks back to her kid. I smile, and the man ushers me out.

It was better for me than her. 

He doesn't blindfold me or tapes me up this time. He lets me sit in the front seat. He knew I wouldn't run. I stare straight forward. " do you have a name?" I ask. I was trying to soothe the unbearable anxiety I have inside.

" William." he looks at me in the eyes. not with the fierce eyes, he gives me when he rapes me but eyes of remorse.

" why do you do this?" I blurt out.

" Why do you come?" he replies. I come because if it's not me, it will be another girl, someone probably younger with a lot more innocent. I come because I have a friend. I come because I don't want to endanger Clara by being selfish. I could go on, but I shrug my shoulders. I used this as a cue to stop talking. " why do you do that to yourself?"

He looks at my scars and my thinness.

"I can control this, make a facade people will see my beauty."