Shrek: Once Upon A True Love's Kiss [Book 1]

Chapter 17: We Object!

Chapter 17: We Object!

*Alice's POV*

It was time for the wedding, although all three of us, especially Fiona, were definitely not excited about it. If anything, Fiona looks like she just wants to get this over and done with already.

We were inside a very tall church with the bride and the...groom...standing in front of the old priest, with myself and Willow standing by Fiona's left. A bunch of knights stood by the huge audience on guard duty at either side of the church, not to mention there were two people holding long boards with blue writing on them that tell the audience what to do exactly.

The audience were told to say "Ooh's" and "Aah's", until the two people holding the boards changed it, making the audience reduce their voices to whispers.

Honestly, it's pathetic if you ask me. Everyone is entitled to react or show a particular emotion however they want at a wedding, it shows that they have feelings as much as the next person. Clearly, Farquaad couldn't care less about how his people really feel, doesn't let them have their own freedom, and practically treats them like annoying insects.

Moving on, what baffles me the most about this wedding every time I've watched the movie over and over with Zero and Willow, is that the executioner is the ring barer...can't complain though, he's surprisingly not the bad guy in the movie.

Fortunately, some good came out of all of this. Willow and I were aloud to keep our weapons on us, thanks to Fiona. She lied to Farquaad, telling him that it was a part of the theme of the wedding she wanted because he has his army of knights wearing theirs, so why couldn't we?

Not surprisingly, Farquaad didn't seem to care, so he let us keep our weapons with us

Everyone's attention turned to the old priest, who started this god awful ceremony rather slowly. "People of DuLoc, we gather here today...to bare witness...to the union...of our new King-"

"Um, excuse me." Fiona interrupted the priest, stopping him mid-sentence. "Uh, could we just skip ahead to the 'I Do's'?"

Farquaad chuckled and waved a hand to the priest to go ahead. "Go on."

I took a quick glance at Willow, who was stood on my right. I tried to stifle a laugh at her reaction because her face was scrunched up in disgust.

I turned my attention back to the priest, counting down the seconds in my head to when Shrek, Donkey, Dragon and Zero, will make their grand entrance.

I know they're here now because I can feel Donkey's and Dragon's emotions, which is a whole lot of love...and maybe a hint of lust?

*Zero's POV*

Dragon landed on the ground just outside the church the wedding was taking place with a loud thump.

All the knights who stood there on guard duty ran away in fear, making me laugh as soon as I jumped down from Dragon's back with Shrek and Donkey. "Ha! 'Brave knights', my ass!"

"Go ahead, have some fun. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about that?" Donkey asked Dragon. She gave him a big hungrily toothy grin and nodded before turning around and started chasing after the knights that ran away.

"Hey, Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute!" Donkey and I ran over to Shrek and stood between him and the wooden doors to the church. "Look, you wanna do this right, don't you?"

Shrek shook his head, looking at the both of us confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You can't just go in there, you need to time it correctly." I said, pointing to the church.

"There's a line you gotta wait for." said Donkey. "The priest is gonna say 'Speak now, or forever hold your peace', and that's when you say 'I object!'"

I nodded. "He's surprisingly right."

Shrek growled in frustration and walked past us. "I don't have time for this!"

He grabbed one of the door handles and was about to pull open the door, but was stopped by Donkey. "Hey, wait, what are you doing? Listen to me!" Donkey surprisingly managed to pin Shrek against the doors so Shrek would listen to him. "Look, you love this woman, don't you?"

Shrek moved his head away from Donkey. "Yes."

"You wanna hold her?"

Oh no...no, no, no.....I see where this is going...

"Yes."

"Please her?"

For the love of the Zeus, make him stop!

"Yes!"

🎶Then you got to
Got to
Try a little tenderness~🎶

I face palmed and shook my head. "You could have just said it instead of sing it, Donkey."

"What? The chicks love all that romantic crap!"

"All right!" Shrek yelled, making Donkey get off him and back up a little. "Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?"

Donkey paused. "We gotta check it out."

We ran over to the nearest window, which was really high up. Not surprising, considering this was a freakishly tall building.

The only way we could think of in order to reach up there is for Shrek to literally throw Donkey in the air so he could tell us exactly what was happening right now inside the church.

"What do you see?" Shrek asked.

"The whole towns in there!"  Donkey yelled.

Shrek caught Donkey and threw him up to the window again. "They're at the alter. Mother Fletcher, he already said it!"

"Oh, for the love of Pete!" Shrek yelled. He abandoned Donkey and ran straight for the wooden doors instead.

Donkey grunted as he landed on the floor and laid on his side.

I helped Donkey stand up, then I ran over to catch up to Shrek, knowing that Donkey would look for Dragon and whistle for her, so he'll be joining us soon.

Shrek threw both of the wooden doors open and started running, waving a fist in the air.
"I object!"

I ran behind him and waved my own fist in the air. Might as well join in. "We object!"

**End of Chapter 17**