Feint (Royal Society #3) COMPLETED

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Undeniable Connection

Maybe pretending that I'm okay was my greatest suit. People have their strengths and this is mine, pretending that I'm okay when I'm really falling apart. Pretending that I am keeping everything under control when actually everything was a mess. And pretending that I am strong when in fact, I am weak.

It has always been a habit of mine to put a mask in front of them. I don't want them to worry about me nor I don't want them to carry my burden. Because this is mine, why would I pass them my own baggage? 

That or my pride won't let me make them pity me. I just can't. Pitying me and worrying about my well-being, are just something I feel uncomfortable about. Kaya naman tulad ngayon, I should still be mourning because the fact that Papa is gone, is not yet actually sinking in my mind. The reason why I am still able to work... normally... I think.

Unlike Ate Hena who fully acknowledges the fact that Papa is gone, she was mourning with all her heart. It was like she already disregarded everything around her and she was just wrapped around her own feelings.

But she can't do that, not with the crown on her head. She should know what her position holds - the consequences and responsibilities. If Papa sacrificed and did every little dirty work just to put her in that position, then I will make sure Ate Hena won't go down. 

Queen Athena Kristalline won't fall. I will make sure of that.

With that conviction in my mind, I cut my gaze to Ate Hena who was sitting in her seat, wearing her robe and still unprepared for the event happening tonight. She was feeling lost, I get her. But the time doesn't stop ticking just because you aren't moving. It keeps going and running.

I stood up and went around her closet. I have to pick her dress for the all-white attire event. I just randomly picked a simple but easy-to-wear dress for her. It's a spaghetti strap square neck white dress. 

I made sure to put a smile on my face before facing her. "Ate Hena, look at this dress. Is this okay for you?"

She looked at me then moved her gaze to the dress and faced me again with a frown. 

"What is this for?" Tanong niya.

"It's... it's for the event. Your attendant mentioned to me that you are needed in that event that's why I took initiative in picking your dress. Hindi mo ba gusto?" That's a lie. No one actually mentioned to me, I just heard some of them saying that East Clan will be in trouble if the Queen won't show up. 

"So, you want me... to actually go to that party and enjoy when I'm still mourning for our father's death, Amara?"

I bit my lip. Parang sinabi niya kasi na wala akong pakialam kay Papa. I looked down when I felt her leave, hindi ko magawang tumingin sa kaniya. Her words sting. I only want the best for her pero bakit parang mali parin?

As I heard the door closed, I weakly sat on the carpeted floor. Napayuko na lang at hindi napigilang hindi umiyak. 

Of course, I missed Papa... so much. I am Papa's girl secretly. I've always wanted his attention kaya nga kahit ang pagbabasa na hindi ko naman hilig noon ay ginawa kong hilig dahil gusto ko magkaroon kami ng bonding ni Papa. 

Even though Papa is very obvious with his favoritism with Sol, I don't mind. She's my twin and I'll also do anything for her. 

And now, I'm just doing what I think Papa will do if he was here. He did everything he could just so Ate Hena reaches this position and I know he will still do everything to keep her here. Because this was her dream... to be married to King Archirale. 

Papa fulfilled her dream... and left us. I know he was suffering and he wanted to go but si Ate Hena lang ba ang anak niya? How about my dream and Sol's? Hindi din ba niya iyon tutuparin katulad ng kay Ate Hena?

Isn't too unfair? I was always there... but why can't anyone see that I also need them?

I stiffened when I heard the door opened. I quickly wiped my tears and fixed my messed long hair. I stopped when I heard her voice saying, "you don't have to hide anything for me, Mara. It's me... Danae."

I looked at her and opened my arms. She knows what to do. She enveloped me in her arms and combed my hair softy. 

"It's okay," she said softly like a lullaby. "We are all going through something and it's okay to cry. You are not an exception just because you think you are strong, Amara."

When I heard that, it was like it became a trigger in my eyes. "I miss Papa so much," I cried. 

"I know." Maigisi niyang sabi na parang alam na alam niya kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. "And I know you, Amara. We are twins and I believe that we have this sort of connection that's why you don't have to hide anything from me."

I also believe in that connection. Maybe that's the reason why I am closer to Danae than Ate Hena. Aside from the gap that we have, Danae is more like my other half. Even though she rarely speaks that long, she has a pure and soft heart. She isn't just expressive but once she did, her words will cure your pain.

And that's what I like about her. She knows the right words to say - the words that would give you comfort and courage. 

Danae let me lay in her legs while she combs my hair. I've always loved being combed because it makes me feel like I'm being a baby. 

"Do you like staying in here?" I asked and looked up to her.

She nodded. "Just fine."

"I'm not fine though," I said and sat to face her. "Attendants here are always looking at me like I did something wrong to them. Or like I'm being an attention seeker. But it's not like I am like that! You know me!"

"Yeah." Danae chuckled. "The ever-confident and fierce Amara Luelle Nastia."

"But on a serious note, I don't feel comfortable living here, Dan. It feels like I am disturbing Ate Hena's family."

"Did she say that?"

"No."

Danae smiled. "Then it's all in your head, Amara. Don't assume things unless spoken."

"Ate Hena won't say such thing. Maybe it's just in my mind and all but the point is, this is her family's home. I don't want to intrude."

"Do you feel like you are?" I nodded. 

"But you aren't and that's the reality. Stop arguing with your imagination. That's not healthy anymore."

I smirked. "And your definition of healthy is? Locking yourself in your room and shutting everyone off?"

Umirap siya at tumayo. Iniwan ako? Napikon? Hindi ko tuloy mapigilan hindi matawa. Danae and her temper. At dahil nakatingin ako sa pinto, nang bumukas iyon, akala ko si Danae ulit. But my smile faded when the door revealed Ate Hena.

She was wearing the dress I picked for her. She put her hands in her back and smiled. 

"Accompany me?"

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