Feint (Royal Society #3) COMPLETED

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Nameless Human Being

"Charles obviously likes you, Amara!" Carrine said in a whisper and excited voice. I looked at her and saw how her eyes glow with excitement. 

I snickered. Bata pa kasi kaya tuwang-tuwa sa nalaman niya. Carrine is not technically a kid but she's younger than me and I treat her like one. She's just adorable, proudly saying that she admires me. Kaya heto ngayon at sunod nang sunod sa akin.

Umupo ako sa isang bench doon at nilabas ang sandwich na binaon ko dahil sa pagmamadali ko kanina. Carrine followed and sat beside me, holding her Tupperware filled with her lunch. I looked up in the sky and sighed.

Few more weeks, Amara. You'll get out of this hell hole. 

This school wasn't that bad, actually. It's normal and habitable like you will really feel like you're at home for they treat each other as a family. It's just I'm getting tired of studying. It's draining me instead of motivating me. 

"Mara, don't you like Charles? He really likes you!" Pangungulit ni Carrine sa akin kaya tumingin ako sa kaniya.

I finished the food in my mouth before speaking. "He likes me but it doesn't mean I have to like him back, Carrine. It doesn't work that way, you don't demand such affection from another person," I said and smirked.

That line... it's all thanks to that unnamed human being. Alam ko naman na mali ang pagpilit sa kaniya at isa ding kamalian ang kaalaman ko tungkol doon. He made his point very clear to me that I was ashamed of how I fought my claims.

Kaya naman simula noon ay hindi na ako sumama kay Ate Hena. I'm scared that we will cross paths again and he will slap the embarrassment I felt that night. Nope, never again. One night of admiring him is enough.

Natahimik si Carrine at napansin ko ang paglalaro niya sa pagkain niya kaya tinawag ko siya. "What's wrong?"

She sighed. "Y-you'll be gone in a few weeks, Amara. I... I will be alone and I won't see you again." Her lips quivered and I saw how tears filled her eyes. She tried fighting it by avoiding my gaze but it still fell.

Hindi ako nagsalita kasi kahit na anoman ang sabihin ko hindi ko naman mababago ang nararamdaman niya. I will be gone in a few weeks since I will be graduating and will work in the East Clan. I probably won't have time to spare and visit this school again.

Matagal-tagal din ako nag-aral dito. Ate Hena proposed to let me study at Royalty School but I rejected her idea. I used to be one but not anymore. Kailangan iyon tanggapin ng sistema ko at hindi iyon mangyayari kung ilalagay ko ang sarili ko sa mga lugar na hindi naman talaga para sa akin. 

This is where I belong.

"Wala na ako makakausap tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay. Wala din ako makakasabay kumain. Wala na... kasi aalis ka na," malungkot na sabi ni Carrine. I badly want to tell her a white lie to at least appease her feeling but I don't want her to hope for something I know I won't be able to do. 

"You can make friends, Carrine. Hindi lang naman ako ang pwede mong maging kaibigan dito," I said instead of consoling her. The more I console her, the more she will depend on me. 

She shook her head. "Then what? When they leave, I will have to experience this again?"

"Carrine."

"No one can stand my attitude, Amara. Ikaw lang... If I will make friends with people here, I have to start from the start, from a scratch. I have to test if they can handle me and disappoint myself after."

"You don't test someone, Carrine. Friends... they come naturally. Hindi mo iyon kailangan hanapin dahil darating iyon ng kusa. You just have to be yourself, okay?" She nodded but I can sense defiance in her. Alam ko naman hindi iyon magiging madali sa kaniya.

Minsan kasi ang hanap lang ng mga tao dito ay yung talino niya, yung iba naman ay ang benepisyo na matatanggap kapag naging magkaibigan sila. That's why she's scared. Because people are just using her as a bridge. 

"Naalala mo iyong punong iyon?" I asked and pointed at the tree in front of us. I wanted to divert her attention. Instead of being sad, I want to make my last days here memorable. "That's where we first met."

"Nope," sagot niya kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya. "I always see you, Amara. Reading on a corner side of the library. You're always alone kaya akala ko ayaw mo magpaistorbo," she chuckled.

"My classmates even know you because you are beautiful. Crush ka daw nila. Ang ganda daw kasi ng mata mo," she said.

There was a smile on her face but it faded when we heard the bell rang, signaling that the break is over. She fixed her unfinished food and said goodbye to me. Ako naman ay pumunta muna sa CR para mag-ayos bago pumasok.

When I looked in the mirror, I remembered Carrine's words. They like my eyes? It's just blue... nothing special with it. But I guess, the rarity of it amazes them. 

Mahaba ang pilik mata ko at makapal na umayon naman sa mata. I also have a perfectly arched brow na kala ng iba ay pinaayos ko pa. My skin is fair white and I have a bit of freckle on my cheeks. I smiled at the mirror before messing up my long wavy hair para mas makita ang pagkakulot nito.

When my last class ended, I fixed my things before heading out. But I stopped my tracks when I saw a familiar figure from a distance. I had to squint my eyes to have a clearer view of him.

But I know it's him. Years may have passed but I can never forget his stance and look. It was etched in my mind.

He was walking with his hands placed inside his pants pockets. He has earplugs while walking and he looked awfully snobbish in the way he walks. Students look at him but he didn't pay them any attention.

I wanted his eyes on me though.

I quickly shook my head when that thought crossed my mind. I just watched him from a distance. His figure improved, I guess. But the cold facade in face remained the same. He was still untouchable. 

Doon lang pumasok ang isip ko ang isang katotohanan. We are studying in the same university yet we never crossed paths! He was here all along...

He was so close to me yet I didn't even know. It was like fate telling me that we aren't meant to be. But who believes in destiny anyway? Definitely not me. Because if I wanted something or someone, I would chase them endlessly. I won't wait for a chance for us to meet again. I won't gamble with destiny or luck. I won't stand still and let things happen.

Maybe... my last weeks in here would be interesting for I found him. The man who stepped on my ego big time and the only man that would make me admit to defeat.

***

Hello :)) 

Chapter Three and Four are both unedited, sorry.