Feint (Royal Society #3) COMPLETED

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

Doubts

"This is the sales report of Nuevo the past month, Miss Amara. Fortunately, it increased and Upper Clan rescinded their order to shut down their dining."

I accepted the report and placed on the table. "What about the person I'm asking you to look into?"

"Ah, about that, we still don't have any lead, Miss. Like what the Queen discovered, she disappeared and never seen again. We are still trying to find her sister but it will be a bit difficult since there is a possibility that she got married over the years, hence, the chance of getting her surname changed."

"I understand. Thank you," I smiled before she took her leave.

"Who are you, Carmina? And why is Papa interest in you..." My finger kept on tapping my desk as my mind constantly think of the answer.

The most valid reason would be she is Papa's family. Or something related to that. But definitely, not his lover. Papa loves Mama so much. That's the one thing I know.

Mama was Papa's air, according to him. He loved her that he even followed her to death. They were each other's person, no doubt.

At dahil sa pag-iisip ko, hindi ko namalayan ang pagbukas ng pinto. I felt him before I heard his entrance. He gently touched my hand which brought me back to reality.

"I brought you food," he said carefully.

I glanced at the time before looking at him. "Don't you have class?" With Elise. But I didn't bother adding it up. He already knew what I was pertaining to anyway.

His jaw clenched. I can sense that he is reaching his limit of patience. I'm not intentionally provoking him. That's too low but I'm not giving in either.

"We don't have class," tipid na sagot nito. "Are you busy? Can we talk now? I... can't do this anymore. I don't want to go on like this, Luna."

"I've been avoiding Elise because it might upset you again. I'm giving you all my time now. And I'm here now..."

He's trying so hard. But we both know that we are now walking on thin ice, waiting for it to break apart. I wanted to save this because I know I can't love anyone other than him.

I have the same trait as my father. We both love to the extreme. And I'm scared that this love of mine would be the cause of our love as well.

But how could I remove the green monster in my head? It's living there and it's growing each day. Elise is my living nightmare. Even if she is married now, she will always be a threat to me.

Is this insecurity talking? Their age gap is nearer. They can see each other more often. They can talk longer.

Stop, Amara. This isn't good for you.

I looked at Vini. Right. He's with me now. He is not with Elise. He is here in front of me. Why do I stress myself over something useless? Kasal na si Elise. She can't touch Vini anymore. Plus Elise is crazy over my nephew. That should keep me calm.

But I do sound like I'm just convincing myself.

Napahawak ako sa ulo ko at tahimik na umiiyak. Vini immediately sensed it kaya umikot siya papunta sa gilid ng lamesa ko at pinaikot ang upuan ko.

Then he cradled my head into his shoulder. "I'm sorry... please stop crying. I won't ask again. I'll wait, I promise you, I'll wait. Just stop crying, hmm?"

"My head is killing me, Vini. It hurts."

"I'm sorry, babe. I really am sorry," he replied as he caressed my hair.

I pushed his shoulders away from me and stared at him. He has that sorrowful eyes. As I stared at his eyes, I just found myself leaning in towards his face.

His lips touched mine. It was soft and I immediately became addicted to it, forgetting all the thoughts in my mind. He angled his face and slowly stood up kaya napatingala ako sa kaniya habang nakaupo parin.

My tears fell when I realized what he was doing. He was trying to communicate with me. He was trying to prove his love for me through his kisses. He was trying to erase all the pain in my heart.

My lips parted when he put a distance between us. My eyes remained close as I felt him caressing my face.

"I love you, Luna. And I'm willing, more than willing, to wait until you're okay. Until there is no doubt or pain in your heart. But that doesn't mean I'll leave you. 'Cause I'll stick with you, okay?"

I nodded at him and he sighed before placing a kiss on my forehead. After that, he left alone. He said I need to calm down and gather my thoughts without him lingering around me.

When he left, I felt lonely. But I know he left to give me some space. I took my phone and dialed Danae's number, hoping that would answer.

And she did.

"Amara, what's wrong?" Her soft voice pushed the button that can make me cry again. "Luna, what's going on? Talk to me, hmm?"

"I... missed you, Sol."

I heard her sigh on the other line. "Do you want me there? Or you just want to talk to me by phone? I know you don't want me to see you at your lowest."

"Nababaliw na ako, Danae. This monster in my head is killing every rationality that I have. It hurts seeing him in pain but I just love him too much. He said he would wait for me but what if he got fed up? I don't want to lose him. But I also don't want to force myself to forget everything."

"Then don't," Danae said. "Your feelings are valid, Amara. You love him and you got hurt seeing him with another woman. He understands that. And trust him when he said he will wait for you. Don't be too hard on yourself, Amara."

"I'm being unfair to him. Wala naman siyang ginawang masama. Alam ko naman iyon. It's just in my head..."

"That's why you have to learn to trust him again. Go back to the start. There you will begin to put your trust and faith in him, like what you did in the past," Danae said calmly.

"Why are you calm when I'm a mess in here?"

She chuckled. "Because between the two of us, you are the fragile one. You may act strongly to everyone but you are my twin, remember? I am your other half."

"I missed talking to you like this. When will you visit again?" I asked because the last she visited us was during Elise's coronation.

"I'm not sure. But are you now okay?" I nodded as if she can see me. "I feel better now," I answered.

"Okay. I'll hang up, Amara. I'm sorry if I have to cut our call short. Something came up," she said hurriedly and ended the call.

I stared at my phone. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko parin alam kung nasaan si Danae. I asked her then but she just smiled, telling me to trust her. She seems happy now. And Ate Hena is right, I should learn how to let go of Danae. She's old enough to face her life now. She has to learn how to stand up on her own.

As I lean my back on my chair, I heard a knock. My brows immediately furrowed because I am not expecting anyone. My attendant is probably busy and not in her post, kaya impossible siya iyon. Vini and Ate Hena are both out of the choices. 

Curious as to who is the person behind the door, I stood up and went towards it. And when I opened it, bumungad sa akin ang nakangiting mukha ni Carrine. Then she showed her phone to me. I looked at her briefly before accepting it. The smile on her face... it's a sly kind of smile. Like there is something behind it.

"Amara! Look what I've found out."

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