Feint (Royal Society #3) COMPLETED

Prologue

Prologue

Defeated.

No.

Don't, Amara.

Once you turn your back, you can't guarantee his safety! So for his sake, walk away.

I wanted to but my body's not cooperating with me. It's refusing to make a move! At alam ko na kapag tumagal pa ako dito, bibigay ako... because it's him. And I'm always weak when it comes to him.

So, please, body, move!!!

Just when my body finally listened and was about to take a step, I heard his voice.

"Amara," he called out which made me inhale a deep breath. "Are you really ending it?" I nodded, refusing to let him hear my broken voice. "Just... like... that?"

Again, I nodded, clenching my fist to stop myself from running towards him.

For sure, if he knew what I've done, he won't even bother talking to me. Because that's just him... so easy to be disappointed. And no matter how much I tried not to disappoint him, I always end up doing the opposite.

"Atleast say it to my face! Hindi iyong nakatalikod ka sa akin," he snapped. 

I closed my eyes and gathered every bit of courage I had in me to respond. "I can't." Good, Amara. You didn't stutter.

"You can't?" His voice is laced with disappointment. "Don't I deserve to hear your explanation on why you are suddenly treating me like this?"

I didn't answer. I refuse to answer.

"After chasing me endlessly in the hall. After befriending everyone just to get a bit of my information. After doing a reckless approach just to get my attention. Lahat ng iyon... wala lang sa iyo? Ganon ba, Luna?"

He called me Luna. Parang gusto ko na lang bawiin lahat ng sinabi ko. Parang gusto ko bumalik sa dati. Parang gusto ko na lang kalimutan ang lahat.  I chuckled in my mind, realizing how crazy I am for him. Doing all those stuff just to get him and now that he's here... tska naman hindi pwede.

Why did I do that in the first place? Why did I engage myself in something that will endanger me? Why did risk my life for that impulsive action?

I felt him before I heard his voice. "Amara Luelle Nastia..."

I didn't look at his eyes when I felt his presence in front of me. Then his fingers caressed my cheeks like he is wiping something.

"You are the one breaking up with me, why are you crying then? Hmm?"

Am I crying? The thing he was wiping was my tears? The great Amara Luelle Nastia is crying in front Vince Nicholo?

Just... what did he do to me?

"Amara, please," he begged and I know myself. One more and I'll give in. And I can definitely see the end of it and I don't want that.

Not for him.

I just dragged him into my world. He prefers living in low-profile kahit parehas lang kami na kapatid ng Reyna. It's just doesn't make sense to me, why he was to keep his profile low?

But then again, I can never be the reason for endangering his life. Never. So if it means lying to get what I want, I would. He would hate me for lying but I know he will despise me once he discovered the truth.

Yes, I am wicked and competitive. But I know when to back down and raise my hands up as a sign of defeat.

And this is me, admitting to defeat.

"I was just challenged," I said with a firm voice. I looked up to him straight in the eye for him to see my seriousness.

"What?"

"Didn't you hear me? I said, I was just challenged!" I said, a bit loud. "You are the type of guy to ignore the girls and I see you as a challenge because you ignored me and didn't bother accepting my handshake."

"I see you as an arrogant man with such a firm principles in life that one cannot bend. That's why... that pushed to be challenged and prove to myself that even the snobbish Vince Nicholo can be hooked by me."

"I succeeded..." I trailed off when I saw his eyes.

Betrayal. That's what it shouts, it was full of betrayal and disappointment, which is expected because Vince has always been firm.

And to hear this? I know it wounded his ego.

Which is a good thing, right? This is good, Amara. Just feign everything until he walks away. Only then I can assure myself that he is safe.

But what he did next stunned me. He didn't take a step back. He didn't push me away. He didn't walk away. Instead, he held both of my arms and shake me, as if it can bring the answers he was looking for.

"You're not a good liar, Amara. Because I'm the master of it and you... failed on that part. I know why exactly you are doing this... Are you scared that I might know what you did to Elise? That you're the one who dropped the bomb to Custody?"

My lips parted and I mindlessly took a step back. H-how did he know?

"I am not a messenger for nothing, Luna. I hear things," he answered.

So he knew? Yet he still wants to continue this unnamed relationship? If can, then I can't. How can I try to live every day with him by my side while guilt is eating me alive? I may be wicked but it doesn't mean I don't get affected by that. 

I am Zachary's Aunt yet his woman's life because of reckless decisions. I can't say that it was a rational behavior because my mind is clouded then. I was burning with jealousy and anger towards Elise because she was playing with my nephews. She is soon to be crowned as Queen and I am not naive when it comes to the rules, I saw it firsthand with my sister, Athena.

They should not engage with another man. Queen is King's woman only. Even if they reason out they were friends and nothing malicious is happening, people look up to her. Is she going to face them with a tainted image? If her actions won't be corrected now, when? She's on the path of tainting the East Clan.

It was my sister's clan. She already sacrificed too much to reach her position kaya hindi ko hahayaan na may makasira non. And if it means, being hated because of doing the right thing, then so be it.

But the man in front of me, claims that he knew what happened, still wants to be with me? What a joke. No sane man would want to be a woman who scorned an important someone. 

Kaya kahit na sabihin niyang alam niya at gusto niya parin ako, I can't. My pride won't allow me to be with him. Masyado iyong mataas para makiayon sa gusto niya. If he is good at harboring hatred, then I am good at keeping my pride up high.

Because that's the only thing I have. I have no title, no power, and no powerful clan. I am a nobody, residing in my sister's palace and trying to be of use to her. And my pride is my only source of confidence to make my head held up high even without a crown.

"Amara," he said in a pleading voice when I didn't speak. Hearing him beg when all I wanted was to give him everything. Hearing him plead when all I wanted was to be the best for him. Hearing his appeal to me like this when all I wanted was good things for him.

It's killing me.

If he would just end up begging me like this, I would rather leave him. It's better than witnessing this. I know I could do that. I have to do that. Mas masakit ang makita siyang nagmamakaawa sa akin ng ganito. Because my Vini doesn't deserve that.

Do it, Amara. Break him... and save from this despair.

"I was just pretending, Vince. Don't tell me you really fell for my charm?" I let my voice be laced with mockery.

That's my last card and I knew I used it well because his response finally matched my expectation.

He nodded slowly and let go of my arms. And like a man whose life was sucked out of him, he walked away from me.

Hate me, Vince. Hate me and let me love you in my own way.

***

SS3 :))