Epilogue
Intertwined
You are being selfish, Amara. The fact that I know this makes me even more awful than I already am. It's not like he will leave me for good!
Pagod kong binabato ang hawak kong bola sa wall at sinasalo ito pabalik habang nakatitig nang mariin sa harap. It's been days pero ganon parin. Ayaw ko parin siya umalis.
It's wrong, alright. To deprive him of his freedom. But what can I do? I wanted his presence near me. I wanted him near me. I don't want him to leave, kaya kahit parang tanga ay patuloy parin ako argumento ko.
Then I heard a sigh beside me. Napatingin ako doon and there Vini is standing beside my bed, wearing his denim polo with a white shirt underneath tucked in his jeans. Umupo siya sa kama ko habang nakatingin parin sa kaniya, gulat.
"Isn't your departure today?" Tanong ko agad sa kaniya at tumingin sa orasan. It's today but he still has an hour to leave.
Tinuko niya ang siko niya sa headboard ng kama kung saan ako nakasandal at inalis ang mga harang sa mukha ko gamit ang isang niyang kamay. "Iyan talaga ang tanong mo sa akin? You were ignoring me since yesterday, Amara. Akala mo ba hindi ko napansin iyon?"
"You didn't tell me na aalis ka, Vince Nicholo. How do you expect me to react?"
He looked up as if I was testing his patience. "Because it was just for few days, Amara. I know I should have told you and I was about to when you suddenly turned cold to me."
"When? Like what you are doing right now?"
Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya matapos ang tanong na iyon. It felt like I crossed some boundaries. And it sounded so immature. So not like me. Hindi ko na alam anong nangyayari sa akin.
"Amara, I don't know why you are doing this to me."
I honestly can't answer his question kasi maski ako hindi alam ang sagot. But I am supposed to know the answer right since I started this nonsense argument. Napayuko ako sa kaniya pero mabilis niyang hinawakan ang mukha ko.
"Babe, I won't go there to find girls."
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa kaniya dahil... dahil siya na mismo nagsabi ng kung ano talaga ang dahilan ng pag-ayaw ko sa pag-alis niya. It sounded so petty kaya ayaw ko i-entertain ang rason na yon. Mas gusto ko pa isipin na kaya ayaw ko siyang umalis ay dahil ayaw ko siyang mahiwalay sa akin.
Ramdam ko ang pamumula ng pisngi ko dahil sa kahihiyan. I saw how his eyes glimmered in his happiness na sinabayan pa ng mahina niyang tawa.
"You little witch. Hindi ko alam bakit naiisip mo pa na maghahanap ako ng iba. I waited for you, I loved you for years. If that's not enough reason then I don't what to say anymore."
"Vini, there will always be someone better than I am, someone -,"
His lips pouted. "I still think you are the best for me. Hindi iyon magbabago."
He got me there at ramdam niya iyon kaya niyakap niya ako. "It will always be you, babe. Stop your thoughts about me having another woman or leaving you behind."
"I'm just terrified, Vini. That one day, you will lose the fire you have for me. That one day, nothing can make you look at me anymore. That one day, you won't have reason to hold my hand anymore."
Then he slowly held my hand. He played with my fingers and traced the ring he gave me days ago. It was a simple band with this massive-looking diamond in the center portion. It was because like the moon, it will shine brightly among the stars.
BINABASA MO ANG
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