Feint (Royal Society #3) COMPLETED

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Four

Domus de Occidens

A knock stopped my movements. I removed my glasses and apron before opening the door. When I did, it was Nana who was behind while holding her favorite bell. Napapikit na lang ako nang inalog niya sa mismong harap ko kaya naman dinig na dinig ko ang ingay into.

"Nana," nagmamaktol kong tawag. But as usual, she just ignored me and went inside my unit. 

I bit my lip when I saw how her eyes roam around my room and sighed. I am not a messy person but she always checks my room kung kailan magulo ito at hindi nakaayos.

She faced me and pointed to my canvas. "You're painting that person again, Mara?"

I silently nodded. It's him and she knew how he looks because I always paint the same person. Only with a different background and angle. But it's still him.

"It's been years since I last saw him, Nana. This is my only way to at least cope up with my longingness."

She crossed her arms. "But that is what you always say, Mara. Ano ba balak mong gawin sa sangkatutak na mukha niyang taong iyan? Every time you miss him, you'll paint him. Hindi ka ba natatakot sa sarili mo?"

"Nana!"

"Mara, instead of painting his face, why don't you go and see him? Your banishment was already lifted a year after you went here. Mas pinapahirapan mo lang ang sarili mo sa ginagawa mo when there is an easier path to take."

I slowly went to the canvas and touched his face. His beautiful face. "I can't. I'd rather hide here than face his anger. I did something unforgivable, Nana. I can't afford to see him... looking at me with hatred."

"So you'll rather cave-in in here than face him?" I nodded while staring at him. "You really like running away from everything. I can't even call you a coward because we all have different levels of pain."

Then she held my hand which made me face her. "But my child, running away won't solve anything. Do you really think his anger will fade if you won't show up? Do you think everything will be okay once you faced each other?"

She shook her head. "No, that's not how life works. The pain he's harboring towards you will resurface once he sees you. But isn't that better than prolonging the agony?"

"I don't know, Nana. I seriously don't know," I replied and went towards the terrace to see my favorite view - the scapes of the Capital. It feels like I am so far from them, so difficult to reach. 

I stared at the view I asked her. "How did you do it, Nana? For sure you are mad at your daughter for eloping with another man. She chose that man over you. How... how did you do it? The pain of being left behind. The pain of betrayal. The pain of regret."

"Why are you suddenly asking about Tallia? Magkaiba ang sitwasyon ko sa sitwasyon mo because I didn't harbor any ill feelings toward my daughter. She just chose what makes her happy and as her mother, I'll support her." Then she sighed. "But it doesn't mean I didn't get disappointed or hurt by what she did. It's just I don't want to make her life worse by making her choice."

"Then what difference does it make to my life now? I also hurt him because I don't want to make his life worse by being dragged down by me. I just chose what I think will make him happy... safe. Even if it is not with me anymore."

"The difference, you ask?" I nodded. "We talked and faced the problem, Amara Luelle Nastia. Kahit mahirap, kahit masakit marinig kung paano ang batang pinalaki mo ay tatalikuran ka na lang para sa lalaki. Kaya Amara, better face him so you both can finally close that chapter of your life without any what-ifs and wonders."