The Power Within: A Rose Full Of Emotions

9. The Dangers of My Mind Pt. 2

I'm so overwhelmed with emotion, I feel like if I move, I'll shatter. My mom was the only person that had my back, who knew me. Now that she's gone, I have no one who knows me. My anxiety, Trauma and Depression was the thing she knew most about.

When you have anxiety which most people do, It's very easy for you to lose control of what's going on. You feel your heart rate increase, your hands get sweaty, you start to tremble, your mind wanders to everything that could go wrong. It builds until, Finally, you shatter.

Hearing my mom's voice made me shatter. I felt so alone. My mother was everything to me. She was my best friend, except for Penny.

Penny would hang out with me and my mom at my house and a little cafe down the street when I was 15. After our accident, I only saw Penny around the school. She wouldn't speak to me unless it was to tease me about getting with a football player that hurt me the night before my mom's death along with 19 other guys.

Penny felt sorry for me at first but then soon grew jealous that I 'Got more action than she did.' I don't know if it's just me or the fact that getting raped by 20 guys in a dimly lit room is a big turn-on for girls like Penny.

But it doesn't matter now. I've moved on. I got away from my awful past. Or so I thought. At that moment my thoughts clear out of my head as the guy from before reappears in front of me. I'm in a different chair, with a different outfit on. I'm wearing my mom's Black Leather Jacket she took with her everywhere, Blue Skinny Jeans with holes, a white tee-shirt with a sunflower on the side, and my Vans.

I look at the guy straight in the eyes and say, "You like making me look good, don't you?"
He shrugs, and says, "I have outstanding taste in clothing. It's one of my many talents." I dismiss his self compliment with a shrug of my own.

I remember a memory of my mom and he chuckles while saying, " She used to pick your clothes for you. She had a very unique style." I nod in agreement. "That she did."

I hear my mom's laughter followed by my own. I see myself and my mother with her dark brown hair pulled up in a messy bun, wearing her signature Leather jacket, Black skinny jeans, and her black and white beat-up converse.

Steve, my ex-boyfriend, was there too. I didn't care about him though. All I cared about was the voices I was hearing so distinct in my mind.

I heard my new friend's voices shout out at me. It felt so real. Like I was there with them. Maybe I was? Maybe they are trying to wake me.

Jackson spoke up, "They admitted you to the local hospital in town. Never left your side. Your only hearing them now but they have been worried sick about you. You'll be seeing me again soon. Oh and Andrea, Call me Jack. And remember to have an open mind when you meet people. Don't assume and don't judge others."

I remember what Lizzy said and shout, "Wait! What's going on with Lizzy and the boys?" Jack moves in his chair and says, "Lizzy used to date Jonah but soon cheated on him with all of his brothers. Including Luke. Be careful Andrea. Get to know them. Don't jump into anything with them. Dont make the same mistake Lizzy did. And warn Mary and Amber too." I nod and he disappears.

I soon fall into a deep sleep once again. I feel like I'm falling into a hole trying to chase down a rabbit who now reminds me of Jack. I wonder if I'll see the Cheshire Cat? Or the Mad Hatter. Or the Red Queen? Whoever I find on the other end I know it will be worth it. I always loved Alice in Wonderland.