The Power Within: A Rose Full Of Emotions

33. Bell

As the bell rings, everyone gets up, except me. I want to sit here for a while. At least for a minute or two. Just to have some quiet time before my next class.

As I close my eyes for a minute, I hear a desk move beside me. Its Jonah. Exactly who I wanted beside me. He's being very quiet and not being disrespectful or rude by staring at me. I like it when he's understanding and when he takes the time out of his day to brighten up mine. When he's not being a dick. It makes me feel special when he's nice.

I'm really glad I met him and the others. I really feel like I can be myself around him. I want to be myself around him. He makes me want to be a better person. I hope Irb2gsq xxx 0 make him feel the same.

I notice Jasper walking down the hall as I come out of Mrs. Greene's room, Jonah following soon after. He waves so I wave back with a smile but then he dissapears into a crowd, never to be seen again until lunch.

As I walk with Jonah, he still hasn't said a word to me. Maybe I should take Jack's advice and spark a conversation with him.

"Hey, you ok?" I want to make sure he's ok but he didn't answer. So let's try again. "Jonah. Are you okay?" Still no answer.

I stop, look him straight in the eye and face him towards me. He has tears in his eyes, his nose is red and his eyes are puffy. I guess I didn't notice in Mrs. Greene's class. How did she not notice he was crying? How did I not notice he was crying!?

"Im fine, Mary. Let me go to my class." I give him a 'yeah right' look. I know he's not okay. He's gonna tell me if he's okay or not even if I have to drag him to a private area and talk to him. "Jonah, I know your not okay. You wanna talk about it?"

He shakes his head saying, "No. I don't want to talk about it, Mary. I just want to get to my fucking class." He walks away with a pissed off look on his face. He walks up to Luke and Luke gives him a concerned look then looks at me.

Great. Now they are all gonna be pissed at me. That's just what I wanted. I'm such a fuck up. I'm never gonna have a healthy relationship. That's all I want is a healthy and happy relationship with a man and I can't even have that.

No wonder Oliver abused me all those years. I definitely deserved it. That's what I get for being a fucking low-life like my mom. I might as well go live with her and her new boy toy.

I need to call her. Maybe with me gone, the boys will feel better. All I do is get into peoples business anyways.

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As I walk over to Luke, I know he can tell something's wrong. Something's definitely wrong and I can't fucking control it. "My feelings are all out of control and all I want to do is kill some fuckers so I think I deserve a break from everyone, don't you?" Without saying anything, Luke gives me a agreed look.

"Dude, you good?" That's the stupidest question I could ask him and of course he looks at me like I'm stupid but I can't help it. I need to keep my mind off all the shit I have to deal with. I need to make sure Luke's okay then I need to apologize to Mary.

She didn't deserve to get yelled at, especially by me. She trusts me more than the others. I need her to know I won't hurt her.

When Luke closes his locker and walks away, I let him go. He doesn't want to talk to me and I'm not gonna force him to. He needs to fight his own demons. I need to find Mary.

Gosh this day is so hectic. I feel like a chicken with it's head cut clean off. On my way to my next class, out of the corner of my eye, I see Amber. Amber and Mary are always together. Maybe she knows where Mary is.