The Power Within: A Rose Full Of Emotions

25. Regret

I left her there. On the verge of tears and very confused. I'm getting fed up with people on the verge of tears. Im getting fed up with everything it seems.

It's just near moms death. That's all. I'm just getting all moody and depressed. I need to shove it down and help my brothers through this. That's what I always do anyways. I keep it in until I have a seizure. When I get so stressed or upset that I have to lay down near a window or just outside then I try to calm down by looking at the sun or moon.

Looking at moonlight helps but I like sitting in the sun better. I also like listening or playing music. Or taking on people's problems distract me from my own.

Looking at the moon is the only thing I can do right now. So I'm outside walking away from my problems. Including Andi and Jake.

I just can't deal with anyone right now. Not even myself. Especially the people inside that house. I just get so angry when I'm around people around this time of the year. We all get like that but Jake and Jonah are the worst. We never even see Jasper so we cant tell how good he is with people but given we never see him, I have a feeling he's even worse than Jake and Jonah.

Suddenly I hear a whoosh and Lizzy is in front of me causing me to run into her. "Lizzy! Don't do that!" I say whisper screaming.

"Go back." She says with no emotion. Go back? What does she mean Go back? I would loose my shit. "Go. Back." She repeats as I get more and more angry just by looking at her.

"What do you mean go back!? I can't. I won't." I say my eyes going wide and my voice rising. She gives me an annoyed look and says, "You can't or you won't Lucas? You either go back and apologize to everyone or you leave them confused and hurt. What will it be?" My mouth hangs open and tears run down my cheeks.

"You were there. When Jake was in that hospital bed. When your mom and dad were there, criticizing every god damn thing we did. Making us feel guilty for not trying to catch him, we were 12! He weighed more than us and we weren't even there to catch him! Jasper wasn't close enough to catch him. Mom was the only one who was close enough and she definitely didn't want to catch him. She's the reason he has to deal with all of this on his own!" As I try catch my breath, I sit down in the middle of the street. Feeling the wave.

As I look to my left as I see everyone outside, I see the wave. My enemy. My darkness. The depths of my inner mind. All the pain I've felt in the last 3 seconds coming in like a tidal wave. Ready to drown me.

As I turn back to the sky, I scream. I just, don't care. I don't care about Lizzy, Andi, Jasper, Jonah, Jake, school, work, Jack, Parents, Mom...

All I can feel, is the power through my veins, feeding my vocals, my sight, and my mind. I'm getting stronger. I was always the strongest but Jake was supposed to be the strongest but Lewis thought I was special. He took half of Jake's power and stuck a needle in my arm. I already was pretty powerful, but the oldest is supposed to be stronger than the rest and me taking half of his power? It made me 10x stronger than Jonah, Jasper and Jake.

Jasper was born a human but he has the same perks we do so he can get hurt and ultimately come back unharmed.

I didn't realize I was still screaming until everything started to slow down, including me. I saw the ends of my hair flowing in the wind slowly. My vision blurred and I felt all the emotion, happiness, Sadness, Anger, Jealousy, Depression all at the same time. I didn't know what to think.

When everything went back to normal, the glass from the car windows around burst and flew everywhere at the speed of light. I shielded my face but some shards of glass and metal went through my jacket and shirt. The power lines shoot sparks out one at a time, making it look like a movie scene.