The Power Within: A Rose Full Of Emotions

Sleep Over

As I tried once more to fall asleep, my eyes snapped open and I groaned in frustration. I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and checked the time, 2:47 a.m.

Damnit, I can't go to sleep. Maybe I should take Jasper's offer- no, no, no, I shouldn't do that. Its wrong. I'm not getting involved with them like that ever again. Lets try to go to sleep one more time.

I place my phone on the table once more and lay back down, closing my eyes and having the same outcome as the others.

My eyes snap open for the fourth time and I groan as I place the pillow over my face and to try to smother myself asleep.

I aggressively put the pillow u see my head again, laying there while looking up at the ceiling. I still don't want to sleep in his bed but I can sleep here.

Maybe if I go in there and maybe talk with him for a while I'll be able to get sleepy and come back to sleep in here.

As I get up and pick up my phone, I use the light from the screen to light a path down the hallway. When I get to his door, I lightly knock...no answer. I place my hand on the door knob, twisting it, cringing at the creak the hinges make as I open his door to Peak my head through.

His room is much cooler than the others. Posters cover the walls, his bed is in the middle of the room as you walk in, he has a side table on the left of right of his bed, he has a walk in closet, carpet that feels like it's been vacuumed recently. His walls are dark grey with white trim at the bottom. His carpet is a light grey color.

As I whisper his name he doesn't answer. I try again, no answer. As I get annoyed, I gently close his door and sneak over to him, shaking him lightly while whispering his name.

He shifts but doesn't wake up. I stare at him without trying to be creepy. He looks so peaceful, charming, and...attractive- No, No, No, No, FUCK NO. Stop thinking like that, Lizzy! Stop it. Wake him up.

As I place my hand on his shoulder and shake him lightly again, his flutter open but he becomes alert when he sees a figure standing over him. His eyes go wide and jumps out of bed and grabs his base ball bat all before I can raise my hands and speak.

"W-Wait!" I whisper shout as he puts his baseball up against the wall again and wipes his eyes. He finally sees who it is and breathes a sigh of relief, "Sorry." He hops back in bed and I sit on the edge, very close to the edge actually. I don't want the same thing happening like it did back then, even though none of them like me anymore I still don't want to hurt them again.

Suddenly Jasper yawns and lays back down facing me, as he speaks, "You couldn't fall asleep?" He's barley keeping his eyes open waiting on my answer. "No, I couldn't fall asleep, I kept having. This nightmare...or some type of messed up fantasy about me falling again. Every time I would close my eyes...I would see my parents, smiling down at me as I fell. I could see my hair and dress move in slow motion. I didn't feel the same peace I did when I fell the first time. It was a scary feeling disguised as peace..." I look back at him, his eyes alert and soft at the same time. Even though he's staring right into my soul, I know he's just trying to see if I'm okay. I'm not okay. I never will be okay.

That memory will stuck with me forever and I'm afraid I'm never gonna be able to fall asleep again. Of course I will be able to sleep but that's just what I feel like. I feel like my mind won't let me fall asleep.

As I lower my head, my hair falls down to my lap and I fidget with my hands, not knowing what to say or do now.

"I'm not gonna hurt you Lizzy, you know that." He gives me a blank look, staring at me with his green eyes. Suddenly my throat closes and I burst into tears. I can't help it, I'm in pain.

I try to speak through the tears but it just comes out like a whisper, "I know you wouldn't hurt me, and I'm not trying to get pity or whatever, I'm just scared they are gonna come and take me away and make me fall again. I don't want to go through that pain again, Jasper. I can't go through the pain of every bone in my body breaking. I felt it before I died. I didn't die on impact. I felt my bones breaking and the last thing I saw was my parents walk away from the roof...oh my god, and Amber rode with us- she was in the car-" suddenly I choked and couldn't breathe or speak for a couple moments.

Jasper pulls me closer but I gently push him away, shaking my head. I don't want him to get close to me again but I can't control my shit. I don't want to be a burden but that's what I feel like. I am crying in his room, on his bed and pushing him away and basically being an attention seeker as most people who don't know me would say but I know he doesn't see it like that. He sees it as someone who he cares about being hurt and he wants to comfort them.

As he keeps his grip on me gentle, he is still trying to pull me into him, eventually I give up. I bury my head in his chest and he rubs the back of my head with one hand and  uses his other to rub circles on my back.

As I focus on the movements of his hand, I start to calm down. I've stopped crying but my throat is still closed up. I sniffle as I remove my head from his chest and wipe my tears off his shirt with my sweater sleeve. It doesn't work but it was worth a try.

He furrows his brows and stares into my eyes with his beautiful green ones. He gives a gentle smile and lays on his back. "You can lay down if you want...I would prefer you lay down but I'm not gonna make you do something your not comfortable with cause I'm not an asshole." As he gives me a blank look, I give a small smile towards him and slowly lay down beside him.

He covers me up and creates a divider between us from his comforter. Trust me, it doesn't look like much of a barrier between us but it's good enough to separate us from each other so we don't do something we will definitely regret.

As we lay there, he starts to doze off again. I smile as his eyes flutter shut. I close my eyes and see pitch black. I just listen to the sound of my own breathing ad I drift off to peaceful sleep.

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