Carry You ~Eddie Diaz

19

Sam's POV:

January 21st, 2020

Today is day 4 in the hospital with Eddie, his condition hasn't worsened, but he hasn't necessarily gotten better either. I was so worried for him, I couldn't imagine losing him, I was currently sitting in a chair laying my head on the hospital bed and my hand was resting on Eddie's forearm.

Christopher was currently with Carla, the school closed for a week to give the kids time to process what happened. Buck was hesitant to leave my side, he thought he was going to lose me that day. Buck, Maddie, Chimney, Hen, Athena, and Bobby drop by almost every day to check on Eddie and me.

I wish I was the one in this hospital bed...

Eddie has yet to wake up, they were able to bring him back after his heart stopped at the school, but he's been asleep since. I talked to him a lot, I also played music for him and would sing along, he always told me I had a good singing voice I didn't believe him but I would continue to sing. I would also tell him stories from my past, like how I broke my collarbone when I was 8 years old falling off of Buck's skateboard. God my parents hated me when that happened, I think they hated Evan even more though. I also told him about when I went to Disney World and couldn't wait to return someday with him and Christopher. I would also ramble about the most random stuff that would tend to make me cry, Eddie would have laughed at me if he was awake.

"Moving to California was the best choice I ever made, it got me away from my parents, it educated me on what I love to do, I got to play my favorite sport for the last time, it brought me closer to my siblings, and lastly, it brought me to you and Christopher. I don't want to imagine where I'd be right now if I had listened to my mother and stayed in Pennsylvania. If I had to go through all of the pain in my life again, I would. I would deal with Maddie abandoning Evan and me, the immense amount of bullying I received in school, tearing my ACL twice, breaking my collarbone, all the heartaches from failed relationships, and drowning just to be with you again. I wish Henry would've hit me with that bullet, now he's dead. I would give anything in the world to trade places with you, but you need to stay strong for your son, stay strong for your parents, your friends, your team at the 118, and fight for me. I know opening your eyes can be a struggle, so you don't have to do that," I took Eddie's hand and sat up. "Just squeeze my hand, if you can hear me, do something. Let me know that you are okay."

A few tears were running down my face. I looked at him and felt his finger move lightly I let out a breath that I was holding in and grabbed his hand with both of my hands. I shut my eyes and thanked the higher powers that Eddie could respond in even the smallest ways.

"Sam?" I looked at the door and Nic was looking back at me. I stood up and walked towards her, she hugged me and I hugged back. "How're you holding up?

"I'm fine."

Nic pulled out of the hug and gave me a serious look, "I know what the word 'fine' means to you. How can I help?"

I tried to hold my tears back but I was failing, "No one can help, I feel so guilty. I should be the one in this hospital bed, not Eddie."

"It's out of your control though, Sam. You have to deal with what you have. I'm glad you're alright, but the guilt is just going to hurt you more."

I sat back down in my chair and shivered. "I just need him to wake up."

"He will just give him some time."

"I'm growing impatient," I whispered.

Nic grabbed one of the blankets and draped it over my shoulders, "Have you eaten anything?"

"What do you think?"

She sighed, "That's not good, you know that Eddie would agree with me on that too."

I shook my head, "I can't keep anything down, Nic. I'm too anxious and stressed about Eddie."

"This isn't healthy though Sam, you have to do something or your body will start killing itself."

I held my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. "Nic, I can't worry about myself right now. I'm too scared that I'll lose Eddie,"

"Well, what if he loses you in the process? Sam, imagine him waking up and you lying in a hospital bed because you starved yourself. It's a never-ending cycle. Don't do that to him or Christopher."

"Nic-"

"You know I'm right."

I nodded, stood up, and walked out of the room, I wrapped the blanket around my upper body and walked to the cafeteria with Nic at my side. I looked at all the different options but nothing looked good, I forced myself to purchase a bagel and ate that on my way back to Eddie's room while Nic rubbed my back trying to comfort me. I walked back into the room and watched as Eddie moved his head, I rushed to his side and Nic grabbed my shoulder. I took Eddie's hand and sat at his bedside, "Eddie?" I whispered.

"Sam, he might just be having reflexes-"

"I refuse to believe that. He is going to wake up."

He moved his head again and took in a deep breath. Nic walked to the other side of Eddie's bed and began checking his vitals as I kept my eyes glued to him.

I gently touched Eddie's cheek, "Hey, come on, come back to me. I need you to open your eyes, Eddie." I set a kiss on his forehead and looked back at him. "I need you, baby. I love you so much."

Eddie's hand tightened on mine and a tear dropped from my eyes, his beautiful brown eyes fluttered open, and I gasped and smiled at him. "Sam?" Eddie whispered.

"I'm here, I'm here, don't worry,"

He looked confused but moved his other hand to my cheek. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Your face is bruised,"

"It's nothing, Eddie," I whispered. 

Nic smiled between the two of us, "I'm going to go grab his chart, I'll be right back,"

"Okay, thank you, Nic," The look Eddie gave me broke my heart, he pulled me into him and I started crying harder. "Your heart stopped at the school Eddie, I was so scared you weren't going to wake up,"

"It's okay, Sam. I told you, I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm so sorry this happened to you,"

"It's not your fault, I'm sorry about what I said that morning. I am so sorry that I hurt you and Chris. Please forgive me, you're the only woman for me and I promise to trust you when you tell me someone is flirting, you have proven me wrong twice and I'm sorry I put you through that hell, please forgive me."

I nodded, "Always, just don't do it again."

Eddie laughed lightly, "I promise that I won't."

"Good," I whispered and hugged him again.

"I love you, Sam, I mean that."

"I love you too, Eddie."

I could practically feel his smile. I sighed and relaxed in his arms, I have him back and I couldn't be happier.