Learning To Deal

Angry and Heartbroken

I stalk back towards Ben's car. I saw Jane in tears and yet I kept walking. Everything going on right now is so crazy. I had just watched her kiss that other guy and I really don't get why life has to laugh at me in the face. Why can't I ever have my own moment? Why is there always another guy there to steal her away from me?

"Hey! Excuse me!" I heard behind me. I kept walking. "Hey you! Spikey hair guy!" Seriously? I stop abruptly and turn on my heal. "What?" I scream at this mystery guy who I haven't identified yet. When I focus on his face I see it is Eli. That bastard, honestly? He has to kiss Jane and then come talk to me?

"Listen, whatever you saw, what I just saw was much worse. I kissed her okay?" Eli spoke and I wanted nothing more than to sink my fist into his perfect little face. "Is that right? Well I don't care, I know what I saw, dirt bag. I'm leaving. Peace." I gave him a peace sign just to give my hand something to do because otherwise I would have followed through with knocking his face in. I walk away and clench my fists at my side. I make it to the car a block away and sit there for a moment before pounding the steering wheel. I hate this! I hate that I can't do anything right when it comes to Jane.

I start the car and pull it into the street completely seeing red. I drive back to my apartment knowing Ben at least had The Beast to use as a car while I borrowed his. I plopped down on the couch too angry to think about doing anything else. Jane said she loved me. What? How can she pull crap like that and still kiss another guy? I thought I knew her. Maybe we didn't know each other as well as we thought. But when I saw Eli touch her… I wanted to kill him.

Jealousy? Is this what this is? How was I not this upset when I found out about Zoe, but when I saw Jane and Eli, I lost it. How could I do that? I called my own best friend trash… I get up from the couch and start pacing the space in front of me. I run a hand through my hair again, messing it up even more than I did earlier today.

Sometimes two people don't get to be together no matter how much they want to. Sometimes friendship really can't last.

Why hello Jane's POV!

I make it to Ms. Shaw's office just in time with mere seconds to spare.

I plunk down into the chair in front of her, "Hello, Ms. Shaw." My voice was hoarse and it didn't sound like mine on any regular day. I told myself to keep everything in until I got home.

"Jane? Are you… Are you alright?" She asked me with clear concern while putting her papers down. I couldn't do this, I can't keep this together. "No," I replied. 'No I'm not alright because my best friend is someone that I'm in love with and he saw some other guy kiss me and he called me," I paused and whimpered quietly. "He called me trash." I completely unloaded my sadness on poor Ms. Shaw. A tear ran down my face, but I wiped it quickly away. I was tired of crying all the time and I was tired of feeling this broken. I was just tired.

Ms. Shaw handed me a tissue, "Jane, I know this hurts right now, but you both seem a little… emotional. Maybe Billy simply lashed out because that's how he handles painful situations. Seeing someone else kiss you probably hurt him. Give it time and then talk to him again. Or, if you would like, I can talk to him and see what's going on. We can mediate if necessary." I sat there for a moment letting the current situation sink in. I wipe my eyes with the tissue.

"Thanks Ms. Shaw, but, I uh, I don't think I want to resolve this. I just keep getting hurt." I lean back in the chair feeling utterly hopeless. The boy I loved was so angry at me and I was so angry at him. How did things get so bad?

"Don't lose hope. Hope is what keeps us together when everything else is falling apart. If anything you don't want to lose what friendship you have with Billy. From what I can tell and from what Ben tells me, you guys have been through it all with each other. This is only a rough patch, every relationship has one." She's looking at me with sympathy and kindness in her eyes.

"Ms. Shaw, maybe some friendships can't last and no matter how much two people want to be together… It may not work out. Timing just isn't on their side." I begin to cry and I feel completely embarrassed. My guidance councilor may be my brother's girlfriend, but crying in front of her just seems too much. So I ask, "Can I please see Ben now?" I sounded heartbroken and in pain. She nodded her head, "Of course Jane." I get up from my place in the chair and I use the door connecting their two offices together. I walk in and close the door behind me, just standing there letting the tears overcome me.

"Jane?" I hear my big brother ask. I let out a tiny cry and he knows I'm not okay. He comes over to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders while I cry. I fall into his embrace and my emotions come sputtering out.

"What happened?" He asked while stroking my head in a comforting manner. "Billy happened…" I sob into his shirt. That's all I had to say and that was all the information Ben needed. "Let's get you home okay, kiddo?"