Learning To Deal

Need To Save Jane

I usually see one of the two girls in my life multiple times a day, but today is just weird. I saw Jane once, and it was to help her up because some asshole ran into her and knocked her flat on the ground. I thought I was going to give him a black eye, but Jane looked pissed enough so I decided to help her instead of playing her personal avenger.

I told her I wouldn't have walked into her thinking it would make her feel like she's not just something that people walk all over, but instead I think it made her feel worse somehow. She ran off as soon as she could. I would have gone with her to her next class if I could have gotten by the sea of people in the hallway. I also haven't seen Zoe since this morning.

I know I need to figure things out. Am I still in love with Jane? If it's even a question I don't think I should be with Zoe. But I really did care about her, I just don't know if I'm in love with her. I grunt in frustration wondering why things are so hard. Why is it always a choice between my best friend and my girlfriend?

A whole class period and lunch has passed and I'm just as frustrated with myself as ever. Still no sight of Jane or Zoe and I have a feeling something is up. I walk down the hall and pass Ms. Shaw's office on my way to class.

"Hey Billy?" I heard the young guidance councilor call. I stop immediately and sigh. I turn around and walk into her office, "Yes, Ms. Shaw?" She shuffled things on her desk and then asked, "Have you seen Jane? She missed an appointment and I wanted to check up on her. It's not like her to skip; do you know if she left the building?" I give Ben's girlfriend a quizzical look. "Look Ms. Shaw, I haven't seen Jane since this morning and I don't really know where she is, but she's probably around here somewhere." I think I seemed a bit more frustrated than I meant to. She looked at me. "Are you and Jane okay?" She has turned complete guidance councilor on me now and I didn't sign up for a psych evaluation. "Yes." I said. "We're just fine and if I see her I'll let her know you're looking for her."

"Well, I hope you do," She looked down at her papers regrettably. "Because if Jane doesn't show up I have to mark her as having skipped school and that will result in a serious consequence. If she's not in my office by three o'clock…" She looked up at me to show me she didn't want to do this, but it was her job. "I'll have no choice but to go through with a suspension." Shit.

I need to find Jane. She's worked so hard on keeping her perfect record and she doesn't just skip out on things so that means if she isn't here meeting with Ms. Shaw then she's gone. My heart rate increases as I imagine where she could be or where she could have gone. My mind goes back to when I hadn't seen her for an entire week and she came back a lifeless shell of the person I saw at the play.

"I'll find her Ms. Shaw. She'll be here by three." And with that I'm out the door moving through the people towards her locker. I look at my phone to see the time is one o'clock. I begin to text my missing best friend.

And that's where I see Zoe.

What the hell is my life?

"Hey Zoe!" I call to her. I reach her and kiss her cheek. She looks down, not once at my face. I ignore whatever is bugging her and get straight to the point and talk in a rush. "Listen Zo, have you seen Jane? It's really important I find her." She continues to avoid looking at me. "I don't know where Jane is.." She speaks softly. I don't have time to figure out her problem, I need to find Jane. "God damn it." I curse and run a hand through my faux hawk, completely screwing it up. "Well, I need to find her." I start running down the hall when Zoe's voice stops me. "Wait! Billy!" I turn around. "She answered her phone a while ago and said something about Donovan Decker. She seemed pretty excited about whatever that is." Instantly I knew where Janey was, she was getting her job back. Relief rushes through me at the thought of Jane becoming my Janey again and being back to normal, but then a knot forms in my stomach because there's no way I can tear her away from her dream just to come back to school.

I say a quick thanks over my shoulder and head for the exit. But once more Zoe's voice stops me. "Billy! I.." I turn around to face her once again and she's looking down clearly in shame. My blood runs cold because nothing good can come of this moment. "Billy, I.." She tried again. My patience was growing thin. "What Zo?" She finally looks up with sadness in her eyes. "I.. I slept with someone, Billy." I don't know how to feel, but somehow I'm relieved. Even though it feels like someone just sucker punched me in the gut, I can't help but feel hope for my feelings for Jane. Maybe this time, maybe finally we can have the timing we deserve.

"Whatever Zoe." I can see her start to cry, but I'm losing time and I leave her there in her guilt. I don't even care who the guy was, why it happened or when. It doesn't matter. What matters now is getting to Donovan Decker to rescue Janey. Everything feels too familiar.

I race out to the parking lot to find The Beast missing. I curse loudly and know Jane must have taken her. For a split second I think about my options, knowing above else who I need to go see.

"Ben!" I rush into his office, luckily this time it was Rita-free.

"What? What's the matter Billy?" I startled Ben out of his chair and current reading of Twilight. I take a deep breath, "Basically I need to go save Jane and I need your car." He gave me a funny look. "What are you talking about? What's wrong with Jane?" At his last question he got up and went to grab his jacket. "Nothing, nothing. Nothing is wrong with her, I just need to go get her otherwise Ms. Shaw will put her under suspension." I say breathlessly not wanting to waste anymore time. He fished out his keys but was skeptical of his car's use. "Don't worry," I said. "I'll take good care of Bertha." I snatch his keys and head out the door with him calling behind me, "Her name's Gertrude! Get it right, Nutter!" I call back to him, "Same thing, Quimby!"

I run out of the building towards Ben's car hoping I can get to the city, pull Jane away, and bring her back all in an hour. I got this. I hope.